Shortest books ever written

Irish Blues
09-24-2003, 09:20 AM
Another attempt to get the members of the Lounge to pitch in and make a the title of a book and its author that would be *really* short.


"Women I Wouldn't Sleep With" - by Bill Clinton
"How to Build an International Coalition" - by George Bush
"Hunting for Sport" - Rosie O'Donnell
"Ways I'm Smarter than Murphy Brown" - Dan Quayle

09-24-2003, 09:24 AM
"How to play defense" - Pavel Bure
"How to hold down a job" - Curtis Joseph
"My visit to the whitehouse" - Michael Moore

09-24-2003, 09:27 AM
"My Sex Life" -bill gates
"Everything We Know About Songwriting" -linkin park
"Mechanics of Quantum Neutrino Fields" -britney spears

09-24-2003, 09:48 AM
"Polish War Heroes"
"Things Men Would Rather Do Than ****"
"How To Dance"-Stephen Hawking
"Things I Love About America" Co-written by Saddam Hussein, Osama Bin Laden and Kim Jung-Il, with a forward by Michael Moore
"Tall People I Respect"-Darren Pang
"The Importance of Fidelity" Co-Written By Magic Johnson and Kobe Bryant
"Why Tennis is the Best Way to Become Famous"-Anna Kournikova

09-24-2003, 09:58 AM
'My successful tips on how to pick up women' - KJAY
'My Favorite Memories' - Eric Lindros
'Favorite Stanley Cup Memories' - any BlackHawks fan under the age of 50

09-24-2003, 10:15 AM
"I Love America" - Osama Bin Laden
"Other players' wives that are off-limit" - Gary Leeman
"Goaltending 101" - Dominik Hasek
"Conversing Eloquently" - Ozzy Osbourne

09-24-2003, 10:21 AM
"Maple Leaf's Stanley Cup wins since 1968"

09-24-2003, 10:25 AM
"How to build a Stanley Cup Champ" Brian Burke

09-24-2003, 10:28 AM
"Maple Leaf's Stanley Cup wins since 1968"

"Ottawa Senator's Cup wins since 1927"


Vincent Vega
09-24-2003, 10:32 AM
'What its like to see over peoples heads' - Gary Coleman
'English Pronunciation' - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Irish Blues
09-24-2003, 10:53 AM
"The Complete List of Things I Can't Afford to Buy" - Bill Gates

09-24-2003, 11:45 AM
'My Favorite Memories' - Eric Lindros


09-24-2003, 12:45 PM
"Beer Drinking for Dummies" open up the book and all they have inside is a Bottle Opener.


Burke's Evil Spirit
09-24-2003, 12:50 PM
Montreal Expos Season Guide, 2010

My Favorite 3D Movies, by Brian Berard

Good Things that have Happened to Me in the Past 2 Years, by Martin Straka

Breakdancing for dummies, by Christopher Reeves

The US Constitution, as edited by John Ashcroft, by John Ashcroft

What Paul Brings to My Show, by David Letterman

meh...none of these are particularly good...

09-24-2003, 12:56 PM
'Where I get my inspiration for song writing' - Enrique Inglesias :lol:

Dr Love
09-24-2003, 12:56 PM
My Life in Inches - Spud Webb
Penny Pinching - Glen Sather [forward by the Dolans]
Spend Big, Win Big William Bidwell, Bill Wirtz, Jeremy Jacobs, Jeffery Loria, et. al.

jiggs 10
09-24-2003, 01:01 PM
"My Thoughts On Fidelity" - Bill Clinton

"People Who Respect Me" - Michael Moore

"My Favorite Hair Styles" - Sinad O'Conner

"My Favorite Conservatives" - Al Franken

"Greatest Stanley Cup Final Game I've Played In" - Eric Lindros

09-24-2003, 01:04 PM
"Adding Muscle Mass" by Tim Connolly

"Speed Skating" By Rob Ray and Eric Carins

"Playing your best when it counts" Curtis Joesph

"Knowing When to Walk Away" Mark Messier

"Its Not About the Money!" Bob Goodenow and Gary Betteman

"How to stay serious all the Time" Tiki

09-24-2003, 01:44 PM
Good Things that have Happened to Me in the Past 2 Years, by Martin Straka


Grizzly Adams
09-24-2003, 01:52 PM
Rain Of Goals - Rico Fata

1984 - Mark Messier(edit: oops this actually makes sense)

09-24-2003, 01:56 PM
"Punk!: A Memoir" -- Radio Robert

09-24-2003, 02:59 PM
"My trip South" - Monica Lewinsky

"Vanity, I hardly knew me" Madonna

Tuomo Ruutu's Ego
09-24-2003, 03:20 PM
"French War Heroes"

09-24-2003, 03:50 PM
"Loyalty" - by Paul Kariya

"Creating a Winning Atmosphere" - by Pierre Gauthier

"How I Achieved My Popularity" - by Michael Eisner

"Confidence" - by Vitaly Vishnevski

"How to Pass the Puck" - by Sergei Berezin

"Just Put the Puck on the Net" - by Sergei Zubov

"Humility"- by Brett Hull

"Dominant Goaltending" - by Wade Flaherty

"Sound Defensive Hockey" - co-authors Sandis Ozolinsh and Oleg Tverdovsky

09-24-2003, 04:05 PM
'Tips to be appreciated by fans' - Patrice Brisebois

'Modesty' - Tuomo Ruutu

'Managing smartly a hockey organization' - Mike Milbury

09-24-2003, 04:35 PM
"A Discourse on the Fundamentals of Pacifism" - Nick Fotiu

"Power Skating Primer" - Rob Ray

"Names For My Remaining Real Teeth" - Bobby Clarke

"The Fundamentals of Scoring After October" - Brian Savage

"Beyond the Tea Cups: Amusement Park Rides I Have Been Allowed On" - Theo Fleury

"How To Hit Home Runs" - Los Angeles Dodgers infield

"Success: 1919-2247" - Boston Red Sox

09-24-2003, 04:47 PM
'Tips for signing a decent 1st goalie' - Boston Bruins management

'Tips to get 70 million dollars doing something decent on the ice' - Glen Sather

Unholy Diver
09-24-2003, 06:51 PM
A Fair and Balanced Trade - Craig Patrick
Goalies that had my number - Mario Lemieux
Clean and Sober - Theo Fleury
Kings of Comedy - Carrot Top w/ foreward by Pauly Shore