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-   -   OT: Where to hang out in St. Louis? (http://hfboards.hockeysfuture.com/showthread.php?t=1100877)

SoulChaser17 02-07-2012 04:08 PM

Where to hang out in St. Louis?
 
I mean I've lived here all my life, but I just turned 21 last year and was in a committed relationship. Well now that has ended and my heart is absolutely crushed. So... I'm not trying to be creepy here, but I don't really know what to do. A lot of you live here too, so I thought maybe I could get some ideas here about what to do now.

I've never really tried going out and hitting on girls and stuff, and I don't really have anyone to go with me as a wingman either. I need more people in my life...

SirPaste 02-07-2012 04:31 PM

Soulard, go there, good times and loose women

illninofan* 02-07-2012 04:34 PM

Believe it or not, we're actually in the same boat.

Mid-early 20's and interested in the social scene (my regards about your relationship :( ).

Where exactly in St. Louis do you live?

That said, here are a few of my favs:

1) The Library (21+ bar right next to SLU)
2) Wash Ave. (which ironically has it's own sub-list, I guess you could start with my personal favorites:
-Side Bar
-Lucas Park
-Hair of the Dog
-The Dubliner

I won't lie to you, I've had a few successes with these spots. ;) In the end, just go up and down Wash Ave. People are out to meet other people there, just find what works for you.

3) The Landing (also has it's own sub-list, "Morgan Street" and "The Big Bang" are my personal favorites)

If downtown isn't your cup of tea, then you could try Main Street in St. Charles as well as Soulard (Mardi Gras anyone? :P )

All in all, I'd need to know more about your situation, but those are the ones I can think of off the top of my head.

Spektre 02-07-2012 04:38 PM

I'm not single but if I were I'd take your laptop and find the nearest starbucks. I don't drink coffee but a ton of women do. If they have a patio, even better. There's one at Hanley and Wydown with a patio. When the weather is nice it's packed with women outside.

Not sure where at in the area you live.

SoulChaser17 02-07-2012 04:43 PM

I live in South County, specifically Affton.

And I'm sorry if this seems weird, I actually don't know how best to phrase it, but if anyone wants to like... go somewhere with me and show me how to be a single guy, I would appreciate that. As I said I need new people in my life, a wingman would be ideal lol

I promise I'm a pretty cool guy.

illninofan* 02-07-2012 04:56 PM

Don't you have any buddies from school you can wing man with?

Do you go to school at all? How about work?

rumrokh 02-07-2012 05:09 PM

Being a single guy doesn't have to be going out to bars and clubs. If that's what you enjoy, cool, but if you are trying to "learn" about being single, that's just one option. Most people meet friends and women through school, work, and hobbies.

The hobbies option is a great one, but a lot of people miss the boat on it, unfortunately. People are drawn to other people who are active and confident in what they want to do, regardless of the fact that they don't have some friends supporting them. So, whatever your interests are, go do them. Concerts, conventions, classes, etc. You'll meet people, and you'll have something in common.

Mike Liut 02-07-2012 05:12 PM

Join a GYM and start hitting the iron.

SoulChaser17 02-07-2012 05:25 PM

I was going to school, but... that fell through. And I don't currently have a job. That's obviously my highest priority right now, but in the mean time I'm still depressed and I really just... kind of need a rebound. The friends that I have aren't really interested in helping me =/

Which is why I say I need new people in my life. I think I'd feel better if I made some new friends. Especially if they were Blues fans :D

CarvinSigX 02-07-2012 05:33 PM

I'm going out this weekend for the old lady's birthday with some friends. We'll probably be all around. We always try to hit up a good restaurant, 2-5 bars, and of course end the night at a club/casino. You should probably try doing the same thing for yourself. If you're a musician, go jam with some friends. If you're in to sports, go to the park and get in on a pickup game. Breakups suck...Just focus on you and having a good time man.

Stillflexin* 02-07-2012 06:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SoulChaser17 (Post 43744097)
I live in South County, specifically Affton.

And I'm sorry if this seems weird, I actually don't know how best to phrase it, but if anyone wants to like... go somewhere with me and show me how to be a single guy, I would appreciate that. As I said I need new people in my life, a wingman would be ideal lol

I promise I'm a pretty cool guy.

Lived in Affton? Brb checking facebook to see which friend recently turned 21 and updated relationship status to single.

But good places to go for me I'm 21 went to Affton up until 8th grade and now live in Oakville are local bars such as Crocs. If you are looking for club life there are tons of clubs downtown such as Club 15, Social House, Clube Europe, etc.

Casions are also a great place to go to as well. Another great place is The Loop, lots of bars, hookah bars and other great restaurants down there.

Main Street in St. Charels has some exciting night life as dose Soulard Market or just plain old downtown St. Louis after Blues games. Love the Hooters we have downtown g/f used to work there, food is great, lots of people and have a ton of T.V's with sports on.

SoulChaser17 02-07-2012 10:14 PM

I just think I would feel uncomfortable going out by myself to bars and such. I need company. And maybe a designated driver :D

So... if anyone here would actually feel comfortable hanging out or anything, you can PM me and I could give you my facebook. This probably seems kinda awkward but... I'm at a really low place in life right now so I'm taking some chances. Don't really have anything to lose.

Ranger482 02-07-2012 11:57 PM

You're 21 man! Don't worry about finding a girl. You have your whole life in front of you to find one. Find you a job and then worry about that crap. Everything will fall into place. I'm 25 and couldn't care less if I have a girlfriend. When it happens it happens. Until then, I'm living the dream!:yo::laugh:

SoulChaser17 02-08-2012 12:05 AM

Yeah and that's what I wanna be like. I've always been the type of guy who just wanted to find the right girl as fast as possible. And I did find her. But then a bunch of crap happened and it's a long story and basically I just... I really hate life.

I realize I need to focus on myself right now but it's really difficult when she's going out all the time and partying to distract herself while I'm sitting around alone all the time.

Which is why I really need to find someone to help me learn how to LIVE. I'm ready to grow up and join the bar scene, but I'd like some assistance with it.

bluemandan 02-08-2012 04:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SoulChaser17 (Post 43784443)
Yeah and that's what I wanna be like. I've always been the type of guy who just wanted to find the right girl as fast as possible. And I did find her. But then a bunch of crap happened and it's a long story and basically I just... I really hate life.

I realize I need to focus on myself right now but it's really difficult when she's going out all the time and partying to distract herself while I'm sitting around alone all the time.

Which is why I really need to find someone to help me learn how to LIVE. I'm ready to grow up and join the bar scene, but I'd like some assistance with it.

Damn you sound mopey. When my ex-girlfriend of four years dumped me on Skype right after I started counseling for some issues, I was pretty damn mopey as well.

I was so out of it, I was having panic attacks and nervous break-downs because I had focused on little outside of my relationship for years. Without the relationship, I had nothing. And since she was the one doing the dumping, she was ready for it and already in another relationship within a couple of weeks. Meanwhile I was still on my couch crying my eyes out. :cry:

All I can say is that it take time. There is no magic cure. A bar may or may not be the right thing. Alcohol certainly won't help you with your emotional state, imagine being in a bar, having had a few drinks when the girl your flirting with does something that reminds you of your ex and you get all mopey. She will lose interest, and then you'll feel rejected, and even worse than before. At least that is what happened to me, I couldn't shut-up about myself and my ex.

The two things that really helped me were:

Exercise: I would be too exhausted to be mopey.
Volunteering: Makes you feel like your contributing to society, looks good on a resume, gets you out of the house, into new surroundings, helps meet new people. Oh, and its free, unlike a bar. Like people, volunteer for the Red Cross. Like animals, volunteer for the Humane Society. Don't like either? Volunteer for Habitat for Humanity. Oh yeah, and it makes you a caring, sensitive guy, which chicks dig. :yo:

Also, be sure to get outside some. The lack of sunlight isn't helping your mood either. Most people are grumpy in winter.

2 Minute Minor 02-08-2012 05:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bluemandan (Post 43810809)

The two things that really helped me were:

Exercise: I would be too exhausted to be mopey.
Volunteering: Makes you feel like your contributing to society, looks good on a resume, gets you out of the house, into new surroundings, helps meet new people. Oh, and its free, unlike a bar. Like people, volunteer for the Red Cross. Like animals, volunteer for the Humane Society. Don't like either? Volunteer for Habitat for Humanity. Oh yeah, and it makes you a caring, sensitive guy, which chicks dig. :yo:

Also, be sure to get outside some. The lack of sunlight isn't helping your mood either. Most people are grumpy in winter.

That's great advice for everyone.

One of the best things about moving to Albuquerque was that its usually bright and sunny most days. I was amazed at how much that affects my day to day moods. (My moods are also better when the Blues are playing well.)

Dolph Ziggler 02-08-2012 05:26 PM

I can attest to the winter thing. I have some form of a hereditary depression issue. It is ALWAYS at its worst in January/February (which is odd as that's when my b-day is)

Definitely get outside

Celtic Note 02-08-2012 05:34 PM

Just work 70-80 hr weeks. I am too busy to get depressed.

Exhausted and stressed is another story.


Another piece of advice... quit looking for the girl. Usually when you are not looking is when you find someone interesting. Trying often facilitates puttting on a front, which is no good for anyone.

2 Minute Minor 02-08-2012 05:55 PM

Every worthwhile woman I've had a relationship with, I found when I was just going about my business or having fun with friends. Staying active doing a variety of activities seems to be the best way to encounter lots of people.

Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I'm not convinced the type of women I'd enjoy spending my time with are spending a lot of their time in a bar. Maybe the Bluenote Lounge.....

Mike Liut 02-08-2012 06:06 PM

I am telling you man, join a GYM, get in great shape. Then when the warm weather hits, you can roller blade or jog at the park. Women love buff bods. Plus, there are babes at the GYM too. I am an average looking guy, but being in shape and having muscles attracted women that I had no business being with. Hell, my wife is a babe.

bleedblue1223 02-08-2012 06:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mike Liut (Post 43814629)
I am telling you man, join a GYM, get in great shape. Then when the warm weather hits, you can roller blade or jog at the park. Women love buff bods. Plus, there are babes at the GYM too. I am an average looking guy, but being in shape and having muscles attracted women that I had no business being with. Hell, my wife is a babe.

The gym is a great way of dealing with stress and anger as well. Hell I get grumpy when I don't hit the gym. If you can't afford a gym, do pushups and ab work. Do a bunch during commercial breaks while watching tv and they really add up.

bluemandan 02-08-2012 07:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bleedblue1223 (Post 43817277)
The gym is a great way of dealing with stress and anger as well. Hell I get grumpy when I don't hit the gym. If you can't afford a gym, do pushups and ab work. Do a bunch during commercial breaks while watching tv and they really add up.

Plus the compliments you'll get help with your self-esteem as well.

bleedblue1223 02-08-2012 07:42 PM

Just don't forget to work out your legs. The frat guys with huge upper bodies and chicken legs just look funny.

SteenMachine 02-08-2012 07:44 PM

As for the depression and being stuck between school and work I've been there more than a few times and honestly just this past month got on some anti-depressants that changed my perspective completely and filled a lot of holes in my personal life I couldn't understand.

Beyond the medical solutions, the depressed stuff is common, feeling kinda lost and distant from your friends is too. The exercise tips are totally legit, will do wonders for your body and mind if you learn to appreciate the process. Trying to force your way into the bar scene never worked for me, unless you have friends you enjoy spending time with booze and bad music (well at least in my opinion) aren't gonna make you seem fun and interesting when you meet someone new in those places.

It's just that age where you have to start fresh as an adult and let things come to you when you find an opportunity. Forcing it to happen will leave you feeling uncertain and unsatisfied to the point where you want to blame yourself for feeling like you're the reason the circumstances won't change.

Classes don't necessarily have to be about building towards a degree either. Learning a new skill you find fascinating will really make you feel like you have something meaningful to commit your time to. People in that state of mind are much more comfortable with themselves when they do meet new friends / women and have the privilege of sharing that experience instead of hoping to lean on someone else's.

journeyman79 02-08-2012 10:26 PM

Alot of good suggestions here.

Here are mine:

exercise

sunlight

(possibly)medication

extracurricular activities (I joined a Judo class, and guess what? There's some really cute girls in it and best of all you get to wrestle with them.)

Get back in school (do whatever it takes. 2 birds/1 stone.)

dating website (Plenty of fish is free)

Most of all, try and realize, you're only 21 who knows where you'll be in a year.

Oh and whatever you do, DO NOT beg for her to come back. It'll have the opposite effect and just reassure her that she made the right decision. If you improve yourself she may doubt herself and want to come back but IMO don't let her.

oh and as far as the bar goes Johnny Gittos on Chippewa. It's right near Afton and is a pretty good 1 night stand bar (open till 3) It doesn't matter if you're by yourself, just bring some cab fare and start slamming drinks as soon as you walk in. You'll get over your shyness quick and make some friends.

good luck bro


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