What the coaches say, what they really mean
 

I saw this thread months ago, and trying to find it but I can't find it. When HFBoard was wiped out, probably that thread was gone as well. Can someone post "What coaches say, and what they really mean" again please? Some of them I remember...

Says: He's a good offensive defenseman.
Means: He doesn't know how to play defense.

Says: He's the heart and soul of the team.
Means: He's got no skills, but is a good cheerleader.

Says: He's the locker room leader.
Means: He's got no clue what he's doing on the ice, but he makes people laugh in the locker room.

Says: He's a grinder.
Means: He can't score from 3 feet away from an empty net.

There were a whole bunch more.... Please someone help me to get the entire list. (or you can add your own, those can be really funny)

Anybody? Bump.

*yawn* no thanks

Code: He's a role player. Translation: We think he can play a role, we just haven't figure out what that role is yet.

Code: He's a "character" guy. Translation: He makes us laugh, tells jokes and does impressions.

Code: He's good in the room. Translation: We should leave him in the room because he's useless on the ice.

Code: He brings intangibles. Translation: We're not sure what he brings to the team.

Code: He's a competitor. Translation: He competes every night, he just doesn't win very often.

Code: He's gritty. Translation: He needs a bath.

Code: He's hard-nosed. Translation: He's dumb enough to lead with his face.

Code: He's good in the corners. Translation: He belongs in the corner -- with a dunce cap on.

Code: He gives us physical presence. Translation: He takes up space.

Code: He's a technically-sound goalie. Translation: His reflexes are lousy.

Code: He's a reflex goalie. Translation: He hasn't got a clue how to play the angles.

Code: He's a power-play specialist. Translation: I like having an extra man out there to cover up for his screw-ups.

Code: He's a stay-at-home defenseman. Translation: He can't skate and carry the puck at the same time.

Code: He's an offensive defenseman. Translation: He can't play defense.

Code: He adds toughness. Translation: He's here for two shifts a night and start fights on both of them.

Code: He's an all-round player. Translation: He doesn't do anything particularly well.

Code: He's feisty. Translation: He chirps at the opposition and takes dumb penalties at crucial times.

Code: He's got experience. Translation: He's lost with better teams.

Code: He has tremendous upside. Translation: He can't get any worse.

Code: He's a "project". Translation: This guy was abandoned in the jungle as a small boy and taught to play hockey by the family of gorillas who adopted him. And I'm supposed to coach this?

Code: He's a grinder. Translation: It's 50-50 he'll miss an empty net from three feet.

Code: He's got good work ethic. Translation: He works hard but accomplishes little.

Code: He's a playmaker. Translation: He had better pass because he shoots like my grandmother.

Code: We've got good chemistry. Translation: We may be lousy but we all get along.

Code: We're rebuilding. Translation: We stink this year and we probably will the year after that too

Code: We're shaking up the lines to add offense Translation: I'm pulling names out of a hat and hoping it works.

Code: We're letting him see the game from above so he can learn. Translation: He pissed me off so much the last game I want him as far away from me as possible

Code: We only had a few bright spots tonight Translation: I watched my career as a coach go down the crapper

Code: Things are turning around for us now Translation: We don't suck as much as before and I can keep my dinner down watching these losers

Code: He's our star Translation: He can actually play hockey

Code: We don't want to rush him Translation: He sucks

Code: We played undisciplined hockey Translation: The ref sucked

Code: We were not as good as we should be Translation: How can these high school dropouts get paid millions for that crap they spewed on the ice tonight?

Code: We need to work harder Translation: No all night benders the night before the next game.

Code: I am in the best shape of my career Translation: I have a no trade clause in my contract