What the coaches say, what they really mean
I saw this thread months ago, and trying to find it but I can't find it. When HFBoard was wiped out, probably that thread was gone as well. Can someone post "What coaches say, and what they really mean" again please? Some of them I remember...
Says: He's a good offensive defenseman.
Means: He doesn't know how to play defense.
Says: He's the heart and soul of the team.
Means: He's got no skills, but is a good cheerleader.
Says: He's the locker room leader.
Means: He's got no clue what he's doing on the ice, but he makes people laugh in the locker room.
Says: He's a grinder.
Means: He can't score from 3 feet away from an empty net.
There were a whole bunch more.... Please someone help me to get the entire list. (or you can add your own, those can be really funny)
Code: He's a role player. Translation: We think he can play a role, we just haven't figure out what that role is yet.
Code: He's a "character" guy. Translation: He makes us laugh, tells jokes and does impressions.
Code: He's good in the room. Translation: We should leave him in the room because he's useless on the ice.
Code: He brings intangibles. Translation: We're not sure what he brings to the team.
Code: He's a competitor. Translation: He competes every night, he just doesn't win very often.
Code: He's gritty. Translation: He needs a bath.
Code: He's hard-nosed. Translation: He's dumb enough to lead with his face.
Code: He's good in the corners. Translation: He belongs in the corner -- with a dunce cap on.
Code: He gives us physical presence. Translation: He takes up space.
Code: He's a technically-sound goalie. Translation: His reflexes are lousy.
Code: He's a reflex goalie. Translation: He hasn't got a clue how to play the angles.
Code: He's a power-play specialist. Translation: I like having an extra man out there to cover up for his screw-ups.
Code: He's a stay-at-home defenseman. Translation: He can't skate and carry the puck at the same time.
Code: He's an offensive defenseman. Translation: He can't play defense.
Code: He adds toughness. Translation: He's here for two shifts a night and start fights on both of them.
Code: He's an all-round player. Translation: He doesn't do anything particularly well.
Code: He's feisty. Translation: He chirps at the opposition and takes dumb penalties at crucial times.
Code: He's got experience. Translation: He's lost with better teams.
Code: He has tremendous upside. Translation: He can't get any worse.
Code: He's a "project". Translation: This guy was abandoned in the jungle as a small boy and taught to play hockey by the family of gorillas who adopted him. And I'm supposed to coach this?
Code: He's a grinder. Translation: It's 50-50 he'll miss an empty net from three feet.
Code: He's got good work ethic. Translation: He works hard but accomplishes little.
Code: He's a playmaker. Translation: He had better pass because he shoots like my grandmother.
Code: We've got good chemistry. Translation: We may be lousy but we all get along.
Code: We're rebuilding. Translation: We stink this year and we probably will the year after that too
Code: We're shaking up the lines to add offense Translation: I'm pulling names out of a hat and hoping it works.
Code: We're letting him see the game from above so he can learn. Translation: He pissed me off so much the last game I want him as far away from me as possible
Code: We only had a few bright spots tonight Translation: I watched my career as a coach go down the crapper
Code: Things are turning around for us now Translation: We don't suck as much as before and I can keep my dinner down watching these losers
Code: He's our star Translation: He can actually play hockey
Code: We don't want to rush him Translation: He sucks
Code: We played undisciplined hockey Translation: The ref sucked
Code: We were not as good as we should be Translation: How can these high school dropouts get paid millions for that crap they spewed on the ice tonight?
Code: We need to work harder Translation: No all night benders the night before the next game.
Code: I am in the best shape of my career Translation: I have a no trade clause in my contract
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