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-   -   The Night Before Garrioch (http://hfboards.hockeysfuture.com/showthread.php?t=37659)

officeglen 12-21-2003 06:03 AM

The Night Before Garrioch
 
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
The threads were hung on the forum with care,
In hopes that Bruce Garrioch soon would be there;
The team fans were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of Gretzky skated in their heads;

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of Sunday to threads below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a newspaper column, and only eight readers,
With a silly writer, so lively and quick,
I knew that Bruce Garrioch must be a trick.

More rapid than eagles his rumours they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, Yashin! now, Bonk! now,
Lindros and Joseph!
On, Cormie! on Smith! on, Carter and Brewer!
To the top of the list! to the top of the call!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"

As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
Down the column Bruce Garrioch came with a bound.
He was dressed all in rags, from his head to his toes,
And his rumours were all tarnished with innuendoes;

A bundle of rumours he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.
His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the icing on his chin was as white as the snow;

The last of a donut he held tight in his teeth,
And the glazing encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and a big round belly,
That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

He sprang to his column, to his fans gave a whistle,
And away they all blew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
"HAVE A NICE SUNDAY TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT."

Here was the column that resulted in that:
Maurice candidate to coach Team Canada

Quote:

Sens GM John Muckler has sent notice that he's willing to move RW Dennis Bonvie and D Christoph Schunbert to anybody who may be interested.
Extra ‘n’ in Schubert added for holidays. Plans are to package Schasntlivy, Schunbert, and Bonnvie into one big n deal.
Quote:

Action has started to heat up on Detroit G Curtis Joseph. The word is a few teams, including the New York Rangers, Flyers and Bruins, have contacted the Wings about the veteran netminder. There's been talk Lindros could be headed to the Wings in exchange for Joseph.
Garrioch missed the latest talk – Joseph stays, Hasek goes.
Quote:

Expect the Stars to be active once the NHL's Christmas roster freeze is lifted. GM Doug Armstrong is trying to move D Richard Matvichuk and underachieving veteran LW Scott Young. There are teams interested in Matvichuk, including Atlanta and Toronto. He could help the blue line of either team.
So which players will be seeing Stars in the new year?
Quote:

A website reported Friday the Flames were going to send RW Jarome Iginla to Philly for Comrie.
Just ‘a website’. Just one? No mention of our actual name. So sad.
Quote:

Talk won't go away that the Kings are going to make a deal for Rangers RW Anson Carter before the deadline.
The talk won’t go away as Garrioch won’t go away for the holidays.
Quote:

The Lightning has renewed talks with the Isles about D Roman Hamrlik. Just one problem: GM Jay Feaster doesn't want to give up anybody in return.
I guess Feaster knows sooner or later Milbury will trade somebody for nobody.
Quote:

The Panthers have assured C Olli Jokinen he won't be traded, but that won't stop teams from calling GM Rick Dudley. Here's betting Jokinen won't make it to the deadline with Florida.
And where can we place the $ bet Garrioch? – put that donut where your mouth is.
Quote:

The Panthers are trying to move LW Marcus Nilson. It's believed Calgary, Minnesota, Nashville and Montreal have all made inquiries into what Dudley would like in return for the 25-year-old.
Dudley will be making moves, that’s for certain.
Quote:

Lowe, a frequent reader of this column, hates trade rumours, but here goes: The word is he's willing to deal either D Jason Smith or D Eric Brewer.
I believe this – in return all Lowe wants is a young, cheap, good #1 center. Just look under the Xmas tree.

Have a great Sunday and a wonderful holiday season.

Marshall 12-21-2003 06:13 AM

Brilliant :handclap:

stanley 12-21-2003 06:14 AM

I'd like to nominate this post for the HOF. I feel the articulation and creativity, not to mention to unabashed jocularity, warrant such a designation.

Good work, glen.

Hawkalyzer 12-21-2003 06:15 AM

hey wasnt there a post here about Iginla getting moved?

hfboards is now an insider source :lol:
nice job, once again

SensGod 12-21-2003 06:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stanley
I'd like to nominate this post for the HOF. I feel the articulation and creativity, not to mention to unabashed jocularity, warrant such a designation.

Good work, glen.

I'll 2nd that. officeglen...once again...you just made my Sunday!

:bow:

CREW99AW 12-21-2003 06:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by officeglen
I guess Feaster knows sooner or later Milbury will trade somebody for nobody



Isn't that what posters were saying about MM+Izzy last season?MM better trade him now before the offers get lower?

Isles have had at least 3 teams make a pitch for Hamrlik.I expect that number to increase as the trade deadline approaches.

oilers_guy_eddie 12-21-2003 07:49 AM

Awesome.

SopelFan* 12-21-2003 09:27 AM

Beautiful.

Ajacied 12-21-2003 09:28 AM

Terrific! :yo:

zoidberg 12-21-2003 09:31 AM

:bow:

SopelFan* 12-21-2003 09:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Modano = God
Terrific! :yo:

1 goal, and Modano is God again.

Ajacied 12-21-2003 09:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SopelFan
1 goal, and Modano is God again.

FYI, Buffaload changed it back since someone else was trying to register under that name.

SopelFan* 12-21-2003 09:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Modano = God
FYI, Buffaload changed it back since someone else was trying to register under that name.

I was just joking. Merry Christmas.

Vincent Vega 12-21-2003 09:40 AM

Great work! :handclap:

Winston Wolf 12-21-2003 09:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by leafssuck
fabulous :handclap:

Words a non-girly man should never use

Son of Steinbrenner 12-21-2003 11:09 AM

i dont even read garrioch i read what you have to say about his column. great job. please go after brooks one sunday :handclap: :joker: :bow:

Sotnos 12-21-2003 11:43 AM

:bow: best Sunday Garrioch thread ever :bow:

Burke's Evil Spirit 12-21-2003 11:50 AM

Hilarious!

zamboni 12-21-2003 12:18 PM

Excellent.

Does anyone have the link to the Sens one?

HughJass* 12-21-2003 04:09 PM

Quote:

He sprang to his column, to his fans gave a whistle,
What fans? :dunno:

This was the greatest stab at the fat man you've ever made, officeglen. :) Since Garrioch, at times, obviously get his rumors from message boards I wish he would see this. Truly masterful!

Ozy_Flame 12-21-2003 04:19 PM

I'm almost certain he copied that from another thread, from another poster....Yes I am........I'm going to try and dig it up.

Ruckus007 12-22-2003 08:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sotnos
:bow: best Sunday Garrioch thread ever :bow:



My thoughts exactly. :handclap: "Extra ‘n’ in Schubert added for holidays. Plans are to package Schasntlivy, Schunbert, and Bonnvie into one big n deal" is probably one of my favorite lines ever.

Vanya 12-22-2003 02:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by officeglen

The last of a donut he held tight in his teeth,
And the glazing encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and a big round belly,
That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;


This is simply amazing. :bow:


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