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-   -   need an opinion on situation with team (http://hfboards.hockeysfuture.com/showthread.php?t=747955)

KaosOnIce 03-08-2010 08:41 PM

need an opinion on situation with team
 
So just a little background. I am a 28 year old female currently playing LW with a mens over 40 e division team. I previously played 8 years ago with a mens E team in Philly as a LW and with a womens team as a goalie. I am by no means the best stickhandler or skater, but I know my position well. I can be in the right spot, I am usually even or a plus on a team that has been outscored this season 18-52. We have won 1 out of 7 games.

My issue starts with a guy on the team. At first, I was referred to as girl, but that has died down. Now, if we are uneven in forwards, I am the one who rotates through lines. I have been with this particular team for 2 full seasons now. I don't mind rotating through, as long as we all get pretty equal playing time, but the last game I was told that I sit first, then would go through the second line during the 1st period, then the first line the 2nd. In the 3rd, I would sit the first shift with the 2nd line, play with them for the first 7.5 minutes out of 15, then go to the first line and sit the first shift.

I said something to the guy who told me this. I had an issue because I was playing well that game and already had 1 assist that night. We were down 3-2 at this time. This guy then told me that I was the weakest player out there and I should let the better players play. I told him that I might be the weakest shooter but I am the best positionally. I also said that I pay just like everyone else and have been with this team for 2 seasons while everyone else left or missed multiple games, including this guy. By the way, our one win was without this guy.

I also play with my husband, who is helping out our team because we are so weak. He plays with a c division team. He overheard all of this and said something to him about calling me the weakest one. This guy told me and my husband that if all i care about is me, i should play open hockey.

My question is how can i be out for me, when i have more assisted then goals this season? Anyone else have this issue? I like the rest of my team and the guys are happy with my play, but its fustrating to be told that you are the weakest.

Sorry for the rant, but it is definately bothering me, but no where near the point that I am going to let this guy win. I don't know if its an issue with me or an issue because I am a girl playing a "guys" sport. There is no womens team I can join that would work with my schedule.

greyraven8 03-08-2010 10:04 PM

I'm assuming the guy giving you the hassle is the team rep. or something similar if he's deciding how to run the forward lines; if not, who would care what he thinks. What a convoluted overly complex way to organize a lower division men's over 40 group - rotating and sitting one player through different lines for different periods; you would think he'd just keep sets of wingers and have one extra or one less centreman, or one less or more on defense.

Anyway, if this guy is in charge of the team there's not a lot you can do other that put up with him or find another team; or if many players on your team have problems with him, start your own team next season taking most of the players on this team with you. If he isn't in charge, you should talk to whoever is in charge about getting equal ice time.

As far as his motivation for doing this it could be a number of things: he doesn't like woman playing "men's" hockey, he's on a power trip and has decided to pick on you, he doesn't like having a higher caliber player on his team and because of this picks on the spouse, or any a number of things. On any sports team you are going to have players that don't get along that well, and many times a real jerk or two.

I've been lucky on the men's NBC beer league teams I've played on. They have usually been a great group of guys, and the only time I've seen anyone not get equal ice time was the last couple minutes of a close playoff game, and a weaker line was asked if they minded sitting their last shift. No one on any team I was one has ever been told to sit shifts during the regular season (though some would volunteer themselves because they were getting over a cold/flu or just exhausted).

quoth the Raven 03-08-2010 11:00 PM

This may be a dumb question, but how does a 28 year old get on an over 40 league?

Considering you guys are down already and apparently not running for any titles, I feel this guy is taking it too seriously. Regardless of whether you are the best player or whatever (which seems to be subjective at this point), you all paid your dues and should get fairly equal time since the point is to have fun. It sounds to me like he is being too controlling and perhaps not playing you because you're a younger girl. If he is the captain of your team or the team rep, I'm not really sure what can be done. I guess just trying to prove yourself through practice?

SabresFreak97 03-09-2010 12:33 AM

I would try to find another team. I understand that you are loyal to this team but there is not reason for this kind of attitude towards anyone on any "non-Professional" league. I would talk to one of the people you switch with and see if they want to play on a different line. I think if he sees someone that isn't your husband give you the opportunity then maybe his ego can take a much needed hit.

Hockeyfan68 03-09-2010 01:02 AM

I would find a team that cares about having fun instead of winning.

I am surprised that in an over 40 league (I am 41) that they would care so much about winning these days in their life.

I play to have fun and that is it. Having fun for me is everyone being friends and enjoying playing hockey.

If fun for them is winning then find another team because you will never find what you are looking for with them.

Either way you should find another team, whether you feel like you are being singled out for being a woman or because they think you are a weak player obviously nobody is happy about the situation.

Find the right team though ... because that can blow up on you somewhat.

Last summer I played on a team that finished 1 and 15. Everyone had the attitude that we wanted to have fun but when losing during games 4 guys on the team would complain to the other ones and blame them for the game whether it was the goalie or a guy caught deep or whatever.

The guys who ran the team never got rid of those guys because they were friends so I found another team because I told them they should remedy that and when they did not care to i finished the season and moved on.

They are currently 0 and 22 this winter, I guess they didn't learn anything and still have attitudes instead of playing like a team.

It is honestly too easy just to find another team or other people to play with.

Granted I get asked often to play for people so it isn't that difficult to hook up with others.

I can imagine that some groups would frown on a woman playing with them which sucks. Not all teams are like that though especially in the skill level you stated that team was is in. The guys I play with now frequently have women playing and there aren't any issues.

JustinW 03-09-2010 01:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KaosOnIce (Post 24384197)
So just a little background. I am a 28 year old female currently playing LW with a mens over 40 e division team. I previously played 8 years ago with a mens E team in Philly as a LW and with a womens team as a goalie. I am by no means the best stickhandler or skater, but I know my position well. I can be in the right spot, I am usually even or a plus on a team that has been outscored this season 18-52. We have won 1 out of 7 games.

My issue starts with a guy on the team. At first, I was referred to as girl, but that has died down. Now, if we are uneven in forwards, I am the one who rotates through lines. I have been with this particular team for 2 full seasons now. I don't mind rotating through, as long as we all get pretty equal playing time, but the last game I was told that I sit first, then would go through the second line during the 1st period, then the first line the 2nd. In the 3rd, I would sit the first shift with the 2nd line, play with them for the first 7.5 minutes out of 15, then go to the first line and sit the first shift.

I said something to the guy who told me this. I had an issue because I was playing well that game and already had 1 assist that night. We were down 3-2 at this time. This guy then told me that I was the weakest player out there and I should let the better players play. I told him that I might be the weakest shooter but I am the best positionally. I also said that I pay just like everyone else and have been with this team for 2 seasons while everyone else left or missed multiple games, including this guy. By the way, our one win was without this guy.

I also play with my husband, who is helping out our team because we are so weak. He plays with a c division team. He overheard all of this and said something to him about calling me the weakest one. This guy told me and my husband that if all i care about is me, i should play open hockey.

My question is how can i be out for me, when i have more assisted then goals this season? Anyone else have this issue? I like the rest of my team and the guys are happy with my play, but its fustrating to be told that you are the weakest.

Sorry for the rant, but it is definately bothering me, but no where near the point that I am going to let this guy win. I don't know if its an issue with me or an issue because I am a girl playing a "guys" sport. There is no womens team I can join that would work with my schedule.

LOL unless this is the playoffs in an elimination game no one should sit especially since everyone paid the same amount of money. Doesn't matter if they are good or bad. Last year a couple of the weaker players hogged alot of time, but i let them do that so when playoffs roll around they can't say anything when it really counts. It's crap if this is a regular season game especially since basically all teams make the playoffs.

KaosOnIce 03-09-2010 09:46 AM

Quote:

I'm assuming the guy giving you the hassle is the team rep. or something similar if he's deciding how to run the forward lines; if not, who would care what he thinks. What a convoluted overly complex way to organize a lower division men's over 40 group - rotating and sitting one player through different lines for different periods; you would think he'd just keep sets of wingers and have one extra or one less centreman, or one less or more on defense.
I completely agree. The guy states the team gave him the responsibility, but no one on the team remembers doing that, including our captain.

Quote:

This may be a dumb question, but how does a 28 year old get on an over 40 league?
good question. I called the league to play and this is where they put me. I agree with the E or even D division, maybe just not the age. My husband who plays with us is 32.

A lot of the other guys comment on my play, in a good way. Actually the last game we played (lost 3-2) a couple of the guys on the other team came over to tell me that I played well. We have played them before, so its with past history of playing against my team and me.

Thanks for your help everyone. We have another game later this week so I will see what happens.

SouthpawTRK 03-09-2010 10:09 AM

This may sound like a dumb question, but why doesn't the captain step up and put the guy that thinks he's in charge in his place?

TinofGrizz 03-09-2010 10:31 AM

It's not a travel team, not a pro team, not a tournament team and I assume its regular season. Its beer league, everyone pays the same, everyone plays the same. Someone needs to bring it to Bowman's attention to get his lines straightened out.

Skraut 03-09-2010 10:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KaosOnIce (Post 24384197)
This guy then told me that I was the weakest player out there and I should let the better players play.

http://daverattigan.typepad.com/the_...akest_link.jpg

Say to him: "You think I'm the weakest link. Goodbye!"

Take your husband, go find another team that appreciates you, understands that you're all there to have fun. Find people you enjoy playing with.

Playing hockey is awesome in so many ways, but it's the people you play with that make it that much better, or ruin the experience.


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