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-   -   The Province Man Hates Bieksa to New Extremes (http://hfboards.hockeysfuture.com/showthread.php?t=836403)

Winroba 10-31-2010 04:07 PM

Man Hates Bieksa to New Extremes
 
http://www.theprovin...l#ixzz13xr5nWNM

Intense hatred

Jay Cee 10-31-2010 04:12 PM

Why would the Province ever publish garbage like this? Oh right...

cbjerrisgaard 10-31-2010 04:12 PM

Jesus,

I mean KB's not playing well but this guy is a freaking nut job.

Balls Mahoney 10-31-2010 04:13 PM

Yeah

Bobby Lou 10-31-2010 04:16 PM

Who knew you could get into the paper by hating on Bieksa?

So fess up; if this guy's that active he must be posting here, who are you!?

Durr 10-31-2010 04:17 PM

Bieksux? If you're out there, get a life.

Reverend Mayhem 10-31-2010 04:18 PM

This cannot be true. Seems really "fake and gay"

EDIT: It's fake. Neither the twitter account or any accounts to "Bieksux" check out.

Wetcoaster 10-31-2010 04:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Winroba (Post 28656323)
Intense hatred

Sounds more like OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder).

jimmythescot 10-31-2010 04:20 PM

He almost makes me want Bieksa to get re-signed.....almost.

StrictlyCommercial 10-31-2010 04:21 PM

23 year old unemployed web designer meet 29 year old millionaire professional athlete.

If I were Bieksa I would tweet:

"Crushed Kovalchuk today at the blueline, just like the world crushed Darren McDonald's dreams"

"Just got my weekly paycheque, the only thing I can think of with more zeroes is Darren McDonald's family tree"

Tad Mikowsky 10-31-2010 04:21 PM

Oilers fan here.

If I could, I'd give Bieska a no homo hug, and tell him everything would be alright.

Durr 10-31-2010 04:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StrictlyCommercial (Post 28656565)
23 year old unemployed web designer meet 29 year old millionaire professional athlete.

If I were Bieksa I would tweet:

"Crushed Kovalchuk today at the blueline, just like the world crushed Darren McDonald's dreams"

"Just got my weekly paycheque, the only thing I can think of with more zeroes is Darren McDonald's family tree"

Bah hahahahaha. DURRRRR

Wellwood You 10-31-2010 04:22 PM

What the OP forgot to mention is that it's a Kurtenbloggers' satire article.

As Botch mentions:

Quote:

Great piece > "Bieksa is the worst player in the history of hockey" > from @kurtenblog (satire ahead) > http://www.theprovince.com/sports/di...335/story.html

Mr. Canucklehead 10-31-2010 04:22 PM

Slow news days with no games for 6 days...

KB has had his struggles, but that's just a hack job. #@^$@ing press.

Towelie* 10-31-2010 04:23 PM

I can't believe a 'real' newspaper would publish garbage like that. I don't know who looks more idiotic, the newspaper, or the guy the story is about.

Wetcoaster 10-31-2010 04:26 PM

The Canucks have apparently checked this wacko out.

And he apparently is little behind the times figuring the Canucks should dump Demitra as well.

When reached for comment, the Canucks confirmed that they've received "a number of" letters about Bieksa.

The club does not consider the sender a threat, though a comprehensive background check was completed by security.

It certainly begs the question, what would McDonald do if the Canucks actually did trade Bieksa?

"Probably have a little party," he says. "It would just really make all my hard work worthwhile."

And would he turn his attention to another member of the Canucks?

"Oh, well, that's tough to say. I've just been so focused on Bieksa, I haven't really been watching anyone else too closely," he admits. "Maybe Demitra. They should probably get rid of that guy."
http://www.theprovince.com/sports/di...#ixzz13yCfe0jg

Or the whole article is pre April Fool's joke or satire from the (half) wits at the Kurtenblog - it seems it is the latter.

Mr. Canucklehead 10-31-2010 04:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Glass Laich Anthem (Post 28656599)
I can't believe a 'real' newspaper would publish garbage like that. I don't know who looks more idiotic, the newspaper, or the guy the story is about.

The Kurtenblog has been mind numbingly bad since...well...forever. They really reach for their jokes, and I can't for the life of me understand why the Province still affiliates with these clowns.

Jobal 10-31-2010 04:27 PM

The Province is a tabloid masquerading as a newspaper?

I don't really know; it's been years since I've read it.

CorpseFX 10-31-2010 04:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StrictlyCommercial (Post 28656565)
23 year old unemployed web designer meet 29 year old millionaire professional athlete.

If I were Bieksa I would tweet:

"Crushed Kovalchuk today at the blueline, just like the world crushed Darren McDonald's dreams"

"Just got my weekly paycheque, the only thing I can think of with more zeroes is Darren McDonald's family tree"

yeah, thats a great way to "judge" the "value" of someone. what a suckers game youve boughten into.

if i was Bieksa, id start working on my game more instead of tweeting.

Lard_Lad 10-31-2010 04:35 PM

Proposal: Bieksa and Kurtenblog to Toronto for Down Goes Brown and a first-rounder.

Ernie 10-31-2010 04:54 PM

It's funny that The Province has given up all semblance of being a real newspaper and is now masquerading as The Onion.

If you post satire, you should probably mark it as such. And if you blatantly rip off The Onion's schtick without giving credit... you suck as a writer. Especially when your "nom de plume" is Vanilla Ice's real name.

Spamhuis 10-31-2010 05:05 PM

I don't get the hate. The satire definitely makes a point to the level of insanity some people can reach in hating on the goat for their chosen team.

CloutierForVezina 10-31-2010 05:38 PM

Epic lulz @ the people who didn't realize it was just a troll article. So many dead giveaways.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ernie (Post 28657154)
It's funny that The Province has given up all semblance of being a real newspaper and is now masquerading as The Onion.

If you post satire, you should probably mark it as such. And if you blatantly rip off The Onion's schtick without giving credit... you suck as a writer. Especially when your "nom de plume" is Vanilla Ice's real name.

I like The Onion and all but... satire belongs to The Onion now? When did that happen? Simply writing a satirical news article isn't ripping The Onion off, might as well blame The Onion for ripping off Jon Swift's A Modest Proposal and blame Jon Swift for ripping off someone else and on and on.

Wetcoaster 10-31-2010 05:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Canucklehead (Post 28656667)
The Kurtenblog has been mind numbingly bad since...well...forever. They really reach for their jokes, and I can't for the life of me understand why the Province still affiliates with these clowns.

As I have noted in the past they think they are real wits... but they are only half right.

I have already been trashed by these two (half)wits by user name awhile back when I took them to task for their lack of rudimentary hockey knowledge and poor writing skills. Not to mention sophomoric attempts at what passes for toilet humour.

They wrote in response:
Quote:

From the KB inbox. It seems our thoughts on Alain Vigneault and the Canucks' struggling offence caused quite the stir over at the Canucks' message board. A special KBFU goes to the hilariously named Wetcoaster (because, you see, it rains a lot here). Scroll down on page 3 for his rather hurtful critique, which includes taking us to task for predicting last year's Canucks would win 43 games (they won 49) and finish eighth in the conference (they finished with the sixth-most points). We really do suck, don't we.
http://communities.canada.com/theprovince/...a-kb-hater.aspx

As I noted in a past post you should read them:
Quote:

Only if you prefer sophomoric toilet humour and the inablity to string coherent thoughts together along with a total lack of writing skills. And that is just the technical end of things. In terms of the substantive thay have less hockey hockey knowledge than the vast majority of posters... and that is really saying something. If this is what one craves then the Orland Kurtenblog should be first on a "to do" list.
;)

If you prefer scintillating humour and incisive analysis, read my posts. :lol:

As I noted in another post:
Quote:

The two brilliant satirists (ok they alone seem to think they are brilliant satirists) at Orland Kurtenblog seem to have little use for the denizens of hockey forums. Mind you these two guys (Jason Brough and Mike Halford) make Eklund look like a a knowledgeable hockey insider in comparison.
Quote:

The Natives Are Restless With Canucks Marketing

In recent days, we've opined on a couple of less-than-groundbreaking marketing efforts by the Vancouver Canucks. The first was the "7th Canuck"; the second was the documentary fan-umentary about the team, which can be seen this coming Monday - one night only! - at these theatres.

Not surprisingly, we didn't have many nice things to say about the promotions. Not that the Canucks could expect us to - these gimmicks aren't created for sarcastic, negative, downbeat, pessimistic commentators like us. Buying in to things is not what we do. We see a glass that's half full and we wonder who poisoned it. Basically, we're jerks, and this is what would happen if you met us at a party:

As such, in the past, we've poked a bit of fun at the many diehard Canucks fans who spend hours upon hours reading, writing and obsessing on the team's message boards.

Not that it's a 24/7 beacon of optimism at the place the kids call "CDC," but the majority of its predominantly-young inhabitants live, sleep and breath Vancouver's hockey team. More than anything, they want the team to succeed, and there is nothing casual about their support. Let's just say, if the Vancouver Canucks were a girl, they'd be the stalkers.


The Province is in serious trouble if they have to publish these two idiots.

Ernie 10-31-2010 05:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CloutierForVezina (Post 28657742)
I like The Onion and all but... satire belongs to The Onion now? When did that happen? Simply writing a satirical news article isn't ripping The Onion off, might as well blame The Onion for ripping off Jon Swift's A Modest Proposal and blame Jon Swift for ripping off someone else and on and on.

When did I say that?

The way this was written was a direct copy of the way The Onion sets up stories.. create a story about an individual who seems unreasonable but somewhat sympathetic, but then make him more and more farcical as things go on.

That's just lazy writing.

And lazy publishing, from The Province's perspective.


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