Bolts BB Glossary v2.0
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04-28-2004, 09:27 PM
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Tampa, FL
Bolts BB Glossary v2.0
Howdy, newbies and visitors ...
For your edification we offer the new and improved, completely updated, often imitated, never duplicated, all-inclusive ...
Tampa Bay Lightning Bulletin Board Glossary
(May contain nuts)
"Smiley" used to indicate Eric Perrin (aka "Snaggle").
Balls as big as a house:
Refers to Dudley's description of 3rd round pick Alex Kharitonov (aka Alex Kharit-on/off) and his uncommon willingness to play in traffic despite being a small guy. If he meant a monopoly house, he was right.
Bill the Cat:
When the cameras zoom in on Nik Khabibulin's signature facial tics, it's often said they "caught him in full Bill the Cat."
The Roy/Svitov/Keefe preseason line of 2002-'03.
Captain Poke Check:
Lightning associate coach Craig Ramsay, who preaches a, ahem, less-than-physical style of defense.
What Lightning GM Jay Feaster (aka Cheeto Jay) sits on when he should be working to improve the team.
The surprisingly productive Clymer-Prospal-Richards line used after the All-Star break in 2001-'02 when Modin and St. Louis were injured.
Lightning tough-guy Chris Dingman, whose "fights" invariably turn into hug-fests.
Refers to fast players from the Dudley era, such as Jimmie Olvestad and/or Brian Holzinger. They're not fast, they have "dimensional speed."
The Lightning checking line composed of Tim Taylor and Dave Andreychuk, usually with Chris Dingman. So named because they're "older than dirt, and slower than dirt."
On-air blooper by former Bolt centerman Brian Bradley when referring to current Bolt winger Dmitry Afanasenkov during a Tampa-Montreal playoff series pre-game show.
The older-than-Lord Stanley owner of the Tampa Bay Lightning, Bill Davidson. An object of great scorn, a particularly sore spot for Bolts fans since he generally ignores his team or makes disparaging remarks about the city of Tampa from his castle in Detroit. Also owns the NBA Pistons.
Former Lightning winger Mike Johnson.
Fear Dan Boyle:
What happens to hapless opponents when Danny Boy gets on the scoresheet.
The St. Pete Times Forum, formerly known as the Ice Palace. Some fans still refer to the building as the Palace.
Coach John Tortorella. Just look at his face.
It stands for Former Soviet Union; the Fedotenko/Svitov/Alexeev line of 2002-'03.
Going Jack Todd:
(or "to pull a Jack Todd"); shirking one's defensive responsibilities, just as the obnoxious, elitist Montreal Gazette "journalist" (and we use the term very loosely) avoided his military duty.
It stands for Hershey Foods Lawyer; GM Jay Feaster (See also: orange Cheeto crumb encrusted thumb)
Human Nerf Dart:
Former Lightning forward Ryan Johnson, who launched himself at opponents and bounced right off.
The official Lighting BB, where youngsters and mental midgets gather to flaunt their lack of hockey insight.
An unmentionable hockey fan/know-it-all who claims to root for about 15 of his favorite adopted NHL teams since there is no real hockey in Iowa. Don't get too close, but do pity the San Jose fans who must put up with him. Example of how his name can be used in a sentence: Go A-wey!
What happens when Sheldon Keefe's legions of unstoppable fans, growing by the day, take to the streets and break stuff in honor of their feisty little hero. Still waiting for it to run amok in any pro playoff series.
Kick 'Em Dog:
Someone who follows a poster around the Internet nitpicking their posts
Former Lightning coach Steve Ludzik.
Referring to a sect of less knowledgable Lightning fans once known mainly for booing Pavel Kubina every time he touched the puck.
Mentally challenged poster originally known as The Wall and then as Los Pared ("The Wall" in broken Spanish).
What Panthers goaltender Roberto Luongo wears on his legs.
--Bolthed (inspired by Brad Richards)
Former Lightning GM Rick Dudley, who was fired.
Instrument that displays Freddy Modin's current goal total.
The Modin/Richards/St. Louis scoring line (aka "Torts' binky").
The Modin/Richards/Stillman scoring line. Also known as the "Second Wife Line."
Shorthand for Martin St. Louis.
The Marty/Vinny/Prospal line that punked the Caps in the 2002-'03 playoffs.
Lightning captain Dave Andreychuk.
The act of winning (see Rhodes, Dusty).
The Penny Lanes:
Refers to a community of Vermont Catamont groupies that wistfully long for the day when Martin St. Louis and Eric Perrin will be re-united on a Tampa Bay Lightning scoring line. If that day ever comes, the Penny Lanes will be ecstatically huddled around their TVs in their PJ's with a box of Kleenex (tm), chocolates, and ice cream, giggling and laughing and crying as their long-awaited sappy, sentimental, made-for-TV reunion unfolds before their eyes.
What Li'l Ricky does with his "assets" (players and picks): trades them ... often. Duds will never be satisfied until his has a complete set of Russians (including Pikachuvanov). "Gotta catch 'em all!"
The press-box duty of a healthy scratch.
Vincent Lecavalier aka "Prince Vince." Sometimes used disparagingly but this nickname was originally applied when young Vinny was tearing up the Q in Junior hockey, thus earning the prestigious moniker inferring his future cornation as an NHL superstar.
Radio puppet (aka Lapdog):
Sports radio host Steve Duemig, who toes the company line without ever questioning it.
Lecavalier and Richards. Refers to their previous incarnation as linemates for L'Oceanic in the QMJHL. Will they ever be reunited?
Lightning prospect Evgeny Artukhin.
Former Bolts goaltender Kevin Weekes.
Lightning defenseman Brad Lukowich. Just look at his face.
Snoozin' Zyuzin (aka Suddenly Susan):
Former Lightning defenseman Andrei Zyuzin
Stanislob (or "Slobby," or just "The Slob"):
Nickname for Stanislav Neckar (that's NETS-cash), used when he creates messes in the defensive zone.
Shorthand for Martin St. Louis.
Swedish Battle Tank:
Fredrik Modin, POWER forward. Check your local listings and look out for that cannon!
Originally Bolt92 and fondly recalled by his "fans" as Dolt92, most recently known as The Atomic Punk. Has more aliases than a Jennifer Garner stalker.
(i.e. security blanket) The tried-and-true Modin-Richards-St. Louis line.
Vaclav Prospal Survivalists:
Similar to millennium survivalists who horded food, water, and gasoline in their militia-esque compounds, VP Survivalists believe the world will end because the Lightning allowed Vaclav Prospal to go to Anaheim via free agency.
Shorthand used by some for Vincent Lecavalier to differentiate from "Vinny" Prospal.
Shorthand used by some for Vaclav Prospal to differentiate from Vincent Lecavalier ("Vinnie").
Khabibulin, the Bulin Wall ... duh.
Infamous shadowy figure best known for making an attempt on Gary Roberts' life, subsequently drawing a tripping penalty against the Lightning when Roberts went down "like he was shot from the XO Club." (Quote from John Tortorella)
Former Lightning defenseman Grant Ledyard, known for his crusty wisdom and vocal leadership. The old man could skate some nights, others he just didn't have it. Future AHL coach or assistant perhaps?
Last edited by joeminus: 05-29-2004 at
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