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05-06-2008, 06:40 AM
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Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Montreal
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Originally Posted by Al Bundy View Post
Now that I have joined the fans of les Canadiens du Montreal,

are there any rules/commandments of being a Montreal fan you have to follow?

Like, "Never cheer for the Leafs regardless of who they are playing?"
Here are the ten commandments:

10) You don't only hate the Leafs but you must disparage the city and the zombies living there. If you can you must pray for the ten plagues to strike that burb.

9) Ditto for the Bruins but with Boston you actually get to laugh at them every playoff season. Unlike Toronto they make the playoffs every once in awhile and when they do they lose to the Habs.

8) Every year you must pick a scapegoat on the team and tear him apart mercilessly. Here you're given free reins. You can go from doubting the player's manhood to speculating about their choice of mind numbing drug. It used to be Brisebois, then Rivet, this year it was Ryder. Next year, it's up in the air.

7) Every Habs fan must go on a hockey site at least once every two days and sing the praises of one our 5th or 6th round prospects. But not just sing you must holler.You must admit to no weakness in his game and you must compare him to the other team's 1st and 2nd round players.Of course, the Habs prospect is way better.

6) And when you've done that, you must make trades that would astound the hockey world. Well, trades like Brisebois, Dandenault and Boullion for Phaneuf and Crosby. Don't worry about the logistics. The other teams will sort it out.

5) You must learn to distinguish between Francophones and Anglophones and Allophones on the team and when you've done that, depending on which side of the linguistic line you fall, you must complain that there are too many of one and not enough of the other and that's why we haven't won the Cup.

4) You must practice your manic depressive moods. This summer take every even day and imagine the Habs winning the cup in 16 games straight. Then go out in the street honking and yelling and making yourself a regular pain in the wazou. Then take the odd days and imagine us finishing in last place overall and then go out bytching at the world.

3) You must learn to at Gainey, Carbonneau or anyone else that dares to take control of this team.

2) You learn to say that Timmons is a god.

1) And you must practice your Moltov cocktail tosses through cop cars open windows.

Hope that helps. welcome to the insane asylum.

Oh yes, forgot

0) You must be willing to have wanton homosexual sex with any hab player.

Last edited by onice: 05-06-2008 at 06:52 AM.
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