7th Obsequious Banter Thread...Hartnell is Handzus.
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10-07-2008, 07:44 AM
Join Date: Sep 2006
Speaking of the Leafs, this is a great read. Hilarious!
So, you're a Maple Leafs fan. You have the foam finger. Somewhere in the house is a light fixture with a Leafs logo. At night, you rest on a team pillow and dream of Stanley Cups. You think patriotism is clipping one of those little blue flags to your car window.
You have everything necessary to start the season. Everything, that is, except a real NHL team.
Watching the Leafs this season will be an exercise akin to building Rome. It won't happen in a day, or even a year. Reconstructing a pro sports team is a painstaking process. Need confirmation? See the Rogers Centre where J.P. Ricciardi's five-year rebuilding scheme soon will be closing in on a decade.
Not that anyone's counting, right?
Still, it's better than last year when all that the Leafs did, much like those same Romans, was make an ash of themselves. There is hope where before there only were inflated contracts.
But, if the Leafs aren't going to put crooked numbers on the scoreboard most periods, how can true-blue fans maintain sanity and keep from pitching the garbage can (engrained with Leafs logo, of course) through the wide-screen TV.
First, forget the standings. They should come with a warning, like cigarettes: Using them can be harmful to your mental health.
Ditto the scoreboard. Don't look. Game scores must be treated as if it were Timbit hockey. They don't matter. All that matters is that the players work hard and improve. Frustrating, yes. But you are Leafs fans. Disappointment sticks like stir-fry on Teflon. Work with me on this.
Now, with Mats Sundin still pulling petals off a flower and playing "They love me, they love me not," there's tittle-tattle about who should become captain. A more ominous appointment has not been made since someone tapped Edward John Smith on the shoulder and said: "Congratulations, captain. Here are the keys to the Titanic."
Last edited by MiamiScreamingEagles: 10-07-2008 at
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