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12-11-2008, 09:21 PM
  #106
Ace2008
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hlundqvist30 View Post
As we all know our team is having massive problems right now. We have lost 3 out of our last 4 and in the last 4 games have been outscored 13-4. There is clearly a need for massive change. I feel that these adjustments will lead to a better New York Rangers team and atmosphere.

Step 1:

One thing that has been killing us is our defense. Dmitri Kalinin and Wade Redden have HARDLY earned their 8+ mill combined this season. It's time to admit they were mistakes and just move on. As the great The Thomas J. once said, "Wade Redden is going to be our Yashin." He couldn't be more right. An expensive Ottawa Senator that goes to a New York Hockey team and is supposed to drastically change it. It didn't work out for either team, and both teams were stuck with these Europeans from Ottawa. Clearly this was destined to be, and since the Islanders bought out Yashin, we have no choice but to follow suit. We need to just release him and let him float to Europe. Next we have to deal with Kalinin. He's just so horrible. He would probably pass through waivers so it makes sense to just waive him and send him to Hartford. This would help both our NHL team AND our AHL team. How you might as? It's simple. When he arrives in Hartford you suit him up and put him on the ice for a game or two while scratching Sanguinetti and have him watch from the press box. You think you've seen the best of Sanguinetti? Not even close. Kalinin was a 1st round pick just as Sanguinetti was, and when Sangs sees the monstrosity that is Dmitri Kalinin on the ice and realizes that in 6 years that could be him you'll see Sanguinetti working harder than you ever could have imagined.

Now we have 2 open spots on our NHL roster. How do we fix this? Simple. Tampa Bay CLEARLY misses Dan Boyle, as they have the least goals per game this season and their top scoring defenseman is sadly Steve Eminger. This is where the Rangers get to take advantage of Tampa. Did you see how easily they let Barry Melrose control the team? I mean seriously, Barry friggin' Melrose. This should be an easy one. First, announce Esa Tikkanen as honorary GM for the day. Have you ever heard the guy talk? You don't know wtf he is saying. How does that help us, you say? Simple. Dan Fritsche has been redundant for us this year, and we have good depth in our farm system. The way Tikkanen speaks English, if he calls up the Lightning inquiring about Paul Ranger and says tells them at a fast pace that we will offer them "Dan Fritsche and Chris Doyle" Tampa for sure will think we are offering "Dan Boyle." They'll accept it and we'll get ourselves Paul Ranger. Chris Doyle's rights can't be traded because he was drafted this year, you say? No problem. Gary Bettman has an evil plan to get the Rangers to do well and look good. Want proof? Ever notice the fact that we play more games in the beginning of the season than everyone else? Exactly...

So now we have one spot to fill. A popular opinion on these boards would be to stick Corey Potter there. Nonsense, I say. I have a better idea. We need to act quickly on this one. In the 2007-2008 NHL season Kalinin played 46 games and had 1 goal and 8 assists. In the 2006-2007 season Jason York had 1 goal and 7 assists in 49 games. Notice the similarities? The only difference is Jason York wouldn't cost 2.1 million and isn't a soft European. We need that gritty presence on our blue line. Instead of the lazy hooking penalties Kalinin provided Jason York well get himself put into the box for knocking the other team on their *****. Perfect replacement.

Now here where this all works out in the end. Redden and Kalinin brought a depressed feeling to MSG. However, if we can time it right We'll get our 2 new defenseman at the same time, and next game when we stick them on our 3rd pairing Sam Rosen will have no choice but to say during the pregame that the Rangers "dumped Redden and Kalinin and now have a new York Ranger pairing." The words "New York Ranger" strung together will shine a light on the whole team, and will bring a new sense of team before the individual. The animosity we've seen such as with Lundqvist and Gomez will be gone and it will bring much better chemistry between our players. A whole new sense of team and camaraderie will be established with our new York Ranger pairing, and when the players look on the back of their jerseys during the games and see the "new York Ranger" jerseys on the ice they will realize that the names on the back are also the name on the front, and therefore if our whole team does the job of the name they have stitched on their back then it will also lead to success for the name on the front.

Step 2:

Did you know that we have had the most powerplays oppurtunities in the whole NHL yet only have the 16th most goals on the powerplay and the 22nd best PP%? That's not acceptable by any means. The experimenting with Kalinin and Redden has already been shut down. We need to find another plan. The acquisitions of Zherdev and Naslund have been nice, but I think we can do better. As we've already discussed in a separate thread on these boards, Gomez is worthless. We need something else on our PP. The one guy I think is truly a keeper is Brandon Dubinsky. I think if we work a PP around him things can turn out well.

Now what do we do? We got rid of Fritsche so that opens up a roster spot. Sorry Korpedo, you've done a pretty good job here with the Rangers but we're gonna send you down again for the moment. We now have 2 open roster spots. Have you ever noticed how bored Ron Duguay looks on Hockey Night Live? He clearly does not fit in there, as he has such long flowing hair whereas Ken Daneyko, Butch Goring, and Al Trautwig are bald. He has nothing in common with them, and deserves better than being stuck with those skinheads. Now I know this might sound a bit out there, but at 51 years old I bet Duguay could still lace them up. The guy scored 10+ powerplay goals per season in his prime, so why not see if he can bring the same magic 25 or so years later?

Now we have 1 spot left to fill.

Clue: He is a former Rangers right winger who was often criticized for being too soft and left on bad terms and perhaps with more left to accomplish in the NHL and is currently lighting the lamp in Europe... no, I don't mean Jaromir Jagr. The response we were actually looking for was 1995 2nd round pick "Christian Dube." I now it's been a long time since we first divorced, but perhaps Dube will come back for a second go-around. Yes, I know that in 33 games with us he only had 1 goal and 1 assist. You know what they always say, "The first one is the hardest to get." He clearly doesn't feel the pressure anymore, as the guy has 33 points in 25 games with SC Bern so far this season! We DESPERATELY need a more than point per game player like that, and after we showed our muscle and demolished SC Bern on our visit to Europe he will realize just how lucky he was to be with us.

So now what? Well, now we can piece it all together. With our new players we have to readjust the lines. The Voros Zherdev and Dubinsky magic that we had in the beginning is not there anymore. We have to seperate them. Gomez clearly hasn't played well at all, as has been displayed by the Ranger fans here at HFboards, so we'll demote him to 4th line, put Drury as 1st line center, and make Betts the 3rd line center. We'll put Zherdev and Naslund with Drury, Voros and Prucha with Betts, and Sjostrom and Orr with Gomez. Looks like Dawes is the odd man out here. Now we have left our second line, which will be filled with Brandon Dubinsky, Christian Dube, and Ron Duguay, and will also be known as our "Dubie-Dube-Du" line. It will be great for promotions. Kids will flood the Ranger games, as they'll be able to support their favorite hockey team as well as their favorite cartoon dog! Now, this line will make our powerplay unstoppable. We add an old great with a great scoring touch and a late bloomer who scored goals like it was nothing in Switzerland to our fan-favorite and hard working Brandon Dubinsky. You still might be skeptical, but here is how we can use this wonderful line to dominate. Just imagine a Rangers powerplay with those 3 and the Devils trying to kill it off:

John Madden: Hey Pandolfo, cover Dube

Jay Pandolfo: Ok I'll get Dubie

John Madden: Nono, not Dubie, Dube, like the letter 'a'. "Dub'ay'

Jay Pandolfo: Ohhh Duguay. Got it.

Now the Devils are completely lost, and one of the defensemen on our new York Ranger pairing feeds the puck to Christian Dube. He skates towards goal with only Scott Clemmensen or Kevin Weekes left to stop him while a confused Devils penalty killing unit is triple teaming Ron Duguay . Now, one of the major issues regarding the Rangers this year is that they make mediocre goalie look unbelievable. See Alex Auld, Craig Anderson, Joey MacDonald, and Jeff Drouin-Deslauriers. But this doesn't matter, because after playing 6 and a half seasons in Switzerland Christian Dube has had so much practice scoring on mediocre goalies! Dube doesn't even flinch as he roofs it top left corner on either Weekes or Clemmensen, and the Rangers are on their way. The Dubie-Dube-Du line will be a major problem for the other 29 teams in the NHL.

With these two steps the Rangers should be back to winning, and should finally live up to expectations.
ok Funny but I was looking for something a bit simmpler



how about Dawes(surefire 24-30 goal guy)+Roz+condt'l 1st
for Phx's choice of OLli Jokinen/Peter Mueller/ or V.Tikhonov(for anyone other than Mueller the 1st rounder doesn't get moved

that leaves us w/ 6 slow Defenders....ok now we move a 3rd rounder
to TB for Evgeny Artukhin and move Fritsche+Rismiller+Kalinin+ future considerations or Just Zherdev+Rissmiller straight up for JBouwmeester

and then ask Sundin nicely...do you really think there is an easier path to the cup final ? no...of course so sign for league min+ bonuses equaling 2 mill and then you've got your chance to shine?

After all Puck Rushing Dmen--Jay Bouwmeester+ if needed Sangs
and Power Forwards Voros/Dubinsky/Artukhin, and the developing Orr
+Sundin+Drury+Gomez+Callahan+....
all that is needed is patience on the Blueline


Naslund-Sundin-Sjostrom
Callahan-Gomez-Mueller
Voros-Dubinsky-Prucha
Drury-Betts-Artukhin
Korps-Moore-Orr

Jbo--Girardi
Redden-Potter
Staal-Mara



hey we can all dream can't we....really?

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