View Single Post
08-28-2009, 11:41 AM
Jack Eichylsma
Ryan ORLY's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,137
vCash: 500
Biohazard skate cleaning question

So this winter a horde of mice destroyed my crappy home. It was awful, they got inside everything. They ran around the house at all hours of the day and peered at humans as if we were invaders in their living space, and so on. One night, a friend stayed the night and slept on the couch. The next morning he said: "That was pretty much the most horrifying sleep ever. All night long I could hear mice scurrying around inside the couch. ****, I could feel it. It was like getting a back massage from a million tiny little feet." (This has since given me a marketing idea: The MOFA. I'd market it as a Swedish-design sofa that rejuvenates and repairs your structure. It would be a big hit among the bourgeoisie, who are unaware that MOFA stands for mouse-sofa and that rodents are running along their spine, not nanotechs or gizmos or whatever possible explanation.)

When I saw them in my closet I feared the worst.

And indeed, they nested in my skates.

The thought of that awful mouse musk seriously turns my stomach, well, the thought of my foot sliding into that pee-encrusted boot, the thought of me skating hard during a game and working up a sweat and having that sweat mingle in mouse pee and poop particles before settling back onto my foot, and into my bloodstream via my feet's open pores.........

it's a bit much. but it can be overcome -- I could push it out of my mind if I thoroughly cleaned it. I mean, I'm a guy who ate cereal with ants in it because they kept invading the box and I didn't wanna throw it out. I don't have a weak stomach. I just want to make sure I can clean this effectively and totally. So, are these skates trashed? If not, how would you go about cleaning them? I do not have a HAZMAT suit, I'll throw that out right now.

the worst part is: I had one pair of ice and one pair of roller skates. they nested in only one of each skate, leaving me with no clean pair. I'd gladly say "well hey **** ice, I'm playing roller for awhile" if I had to.

Ryan ORLY is online now   Reply With Quote