37th Obsequious Banter Thread: RICO Statue
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10-13-2010, 06:21 PM
Join Date: Sep 2007
Originally Posted by
Honestly, you guys are giving Solid terrible advice. Young 20 year old girls don't want to be taken out to dinner by their friend of 7 years and told that for 7 years he has been pining after her... that is stalker-esque and will only ruin the friendship.
Girls at that age are immature and want to be treated like crap... have you ever noticed that girls ALWAYS go for **********? I used to be a pansy type guy (always overly nice to girls), then I realized that all the cheerleaders I was dating would break up with me 2-4 months into the relationship (one even told me I was too nice when she did it) and start dating a fat, drunk ******* from the football team.
I have now adapted myself to having a really nice mix of being a nice guy, but also being a ***** at times to switch it up. Girls want to be put down by you and then comforted by you right after... it keeps them from getting bored, but also gives them the security that they are dating someone who cares about them. I have since gone from a habitual girlfriend hopper in high school (never going more than a few weeks without one, them lasting a few months - sadly I was always the one broken up with, as cited above) to now in college I have had a 3 year relationship that I ended on my terms and now a 6 month and going strong relationship. A marked improvement, imo.
This is especially true when you are first dating a girl before she is a girlfriend, they really like being treated like ****.
I have a friend who went up to an incredibly hot girl at the bar
that no one else had the balls to talk to and he told her she needed to go in the bathroom and put some more make-up on...
guess who got anal that night?
You have put yourself in the friend zone Solid, no doubt about it. As others have more aptly put (I love the ladder metaphor earlier) it is ****ing HARD to switch zones. I can without any doubt tell you that this girl has almost no interest in dating you right now, BUT I can also tell you that if you play it right there is SOME hope.
If you want to date this girl, here is what you do:
1) Ask her to dinner and wait for her to accept
2) Call her a half hour before you were supposed to pick her up for dinner (after she has gotten all ready for it) and then tell her that you have other plans and have to cancel
Go to a bar and pickup the least diseased girl (Idk about you guys, but bar girls reek of STD's to me)
you can find and take her home
4) Bang her, if nothing else just to get some damn confidence in yourself, you are a mess my friend
5) Tell the friend that you want to date all about your night the night before the next day
6) Hope she gets jealous/mad, if she does then there is your hope.
----The rest is assuming she gets mad or jealous, if she doesn't then there was never any hope to being with, continue being friends and give that easy girl from the night before another call----
7) Tell her how you canceled the other night because you are sick of how she toys with your feelings. Tell her she gives you signs (like cuddling the other night) and then blows you off the next day and pretends it didn't happen and you decided you weren't going to wait around for her to come around forever.
----Hopefully at this point she is visibly upset as she thinks about how right you are (even if you aren't, that is the beauty of it, you could say almost anything when they are emotional and they will go along with it - DO WHATEVER YOU CAN TO MAKE HER THE BAD GUY!!!)----
8) Now tell her how you truly feel, and that you have always felt that way, that you think of her when you wake up in the morning and dream of her as you fall asleep at night, etc.
----Hopefully at this point she is showing signs that she may feel at least a similiar way----
9) Now tell her how you are a good guy and you have seen how she was treated like **** by so many guys before you and it made you sick and you would never treat her that way because she means everything to you.
----Hopefully at this point she is unzipping your pants----
10) SEAL THE ****ING DEAL - THAT IS THE ONLY WAY OUT OF THE FRIEND ZONE
You can listen to everyone else, but this is truly the ONLY way you have ANY hope AT ALL of EVER being anymore than a friend to this girl. It also avoids the worst case scenario - that she thinks your a creep/stalker (like with Chris' horrible advice).
I may be harsh, but I honestly have your best interest at heart with this post. You really sound like a good guy that deserves this girl. Whatever you decide to do, good luck man.
Yeah, and do anal, because that's the least disease-ridden orifice
I'm sorry, but this post is hilarious, but not because I think it's one of those "its funny cause it's true" cases. I hereby nominate this as post of the year, because it reads like one of those shirts a twelve year old wears with the little boxes and step by step process of an oft-hilarious scenario. Don't take that personal, though.
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