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11-19-2010, 05:10 AM
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Dealing with "that guy" in beer leagues

You all know That Guy. He's the one who tries to channel Scotty Bowman and Herb Brooks while not knowing what he's talking about. He reams beginner players for mistakes they don't have the skills to fix yet. He preaches level-inappropriate tactics and wants to Win At All Costs, including stacking lines every time you're on special teams or berating the refs for bad calls.

In my particular case, I'm in small co-ed rec league that's at the bottom of my rink's skill level system, exactly where I belong. We've got a range from a couple extremely talented guys playing in all three levels who try to help instruct the newer guys to the pure beginner (a conversation on our bench last game included questions of whether penalties expired at the end of a period if a goal had not yet been scored). We play once a week and have "captains" but no coaches, and all four teams make the playoffs at the end of the season. Captains essentially draft the teams, make sure we all have appropriate color jerseys and call us to tell us our first game time.

But my team's captain is an arrogant jerk who isn't as good as he thinks he is, knows nothing about level-appropriate tactics and is a general ass. He's an assistant coach on the house bantam team and seems to think things that will work at that level will work for us while not actually following any of his own directions. He freaks out at our newest beginners for not raising their shots when they're happy they got on and off the ice without falling, stacks lines every game which means less-skilled players always get shorted ice time and greets any suggestions for changes with "I'm the (freaking) coach of this team!" which would be comical if it weren't so annoying. And all that wouldn't be so bad if he, a defenseman, actually played the position like he's supposed to. He plays like a center but won't move up to actually play center because "I'm one of our better skaters and we need me at D."

I love playing, but he just aggravates the hell out of me and about half of our team every game. Our rink makes the women dress in a separate room, so I don't get the dose of him the guys on our team apparently get in the locker room. But no amount of telling him he's acting like a tool seems to get him to change.

Short of quietly hoping he develops a permanent case of laryngitis, any advice on dealing with guys like this?

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