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06-26-2011, 02:10 PM
Clowes Line
Cally's Chicken Parm
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: New Yawk
Country: United States
Posts: 12,544
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Originally Posted by t3hg00se View Post

I 'd so freaking hard. Thanks for the awesome link haha

and congrats to Ryan Callahan! I always knew the ladies must have loved his two-way game
The bears playing hockey in soviet Russia also hahahaha. Was that not the funniest article you've ever read in your life?!

Another way to pass the time with "fake hockey" is to book a flight to the jungle and capture as many monkeys as you can. Smuggle them back stateside and have your wife/girlfriend help you knit tiny little Rangers jerseys for them. Spend the summer teaching them how to skate and shoot a puck, rewarding them with monkey treats. If you can’t find enough monkeys children will do just fine too (they also enjoy monkey treats). Also works well with bears (especially in the Soviet Union).
Girardi Blackout Strategy. There is a game you can play this offseason called "The Dan Girardi Blackout". What you do is print a picture of Dan Girardi and tape it to a wall. Stare into Girardi’s eyes for as long as you can. Don’t blink. After a certain point everything will go black and you will wake up months (possibly years) later covered in sweat, curled up in the fetal position, shivering and whimpering. By then the season will have probably started, just make sure to hook up an IV to your arm before the process and wear an adult diaper.
There is no shame in playing video game hockey. At least as the video game Rangers you can get the team a powerplay goal (one-timer mother****ers).

No problem for the link, always trying to spread a few laughs

Last edited by Clowes Line: 06-26-2011 at 02:19 PM.
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