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01-21-2012, 08:55 AM
  #17
Guerzy
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Canada
Country: Canada
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Bro Rules



Rule #1: Never leave a fellow Bro behind. Bro's take care of their own.
Rule #2: Bro's never use their real name, it's always "Bro".
Rule #3: When crashing another Bro's party, identify yourself as a Bro.
Rule #4: No Bro goes home alone.
Rule #5: Never let a girl come between you and a fellow Bro.
Rule #6: When confronting another fellow Bro, always pump fists.
Rule #7: Blend in by standing out like a Bro.
Rule #8: Bro's are the life of the party.
Rule #9: Style your hair like Bro.
Rule #10: Invitations are not for Bro's..
Rule #11: A sensitive Bro is good.
Rule #12: When it stops being fun, be a Bro and break something.
Rule #13: Always have an up-to-date Bro haircut.
Rule #14: Work out like a Bro at the gym.
Rule #15: The older the Bro the better, the younger the Bro the better (see Rule #16 below)
Rule #16: Definitely make sure she's 18, Bro. That's Brolegal.
Rule #17: You have a Bro party and a Bro after-party to seal the deal. Period. No Brovertime.
Rule #18: There's nothing wrong with having Bro seconds. Provided there is no longer another fellow Bro involved with said involved female Bro.
Rule #19: If you get outed, leave calmly like a Bro. Do not run. Bro's do not run.
Rule #20: Of course you love her like a Bro.
Rule #21: Bro's don't over drink. The machinery must work in order to close.
Rule #22: Bro's make sure there's an open bar.
Rule #23: Always be a Bro team player. Everyone needs a little Bro help now and again.
Rule #24: Know the Bro playbook so you can call a Bro audible.
Rule #25: If you call a Bro audible, always make sure your fellow Bro's know.
Rule #26: Never go back to your place, that's a Bro-No.
Rule #27: Bro's are always gone by sunrise.
Rule #28: At the party, minimum of 10 hard drinks or 15 beers. A drunk Bro is a Bro.
Rule #29: The way to a female Bro's heart is Bromancing her.
Rule #30: Never hit on a Bro's bride -- it's a one way ticket to the pavement.
Rule #31: Try not to break anything, unless you're not having fun like a Bro.
Rule #32: Create an air of mystery that involves some painful Bro experience when interacting with the female Bro you're after. But don't talk about it.
Rule #33: Always remember your fake Bro name! Rehearse it in advance and make sure you know your fellow Bro's code-name as well!
Rule #34: The Rules of being a Bro are sacred. Don't sully them by "improvising."
Rule #35: Make sure all the single female Bro's at the party know you're there because you've just suffered either a terrible breakup or the Jets just lost.
Rule #36: Always work into the conversation: "Yeah, I have tons of Bro money. But how does one buy happiness?"
Rule #37: Be Bro-pensive! It draws out the "Bro-healer" in women.
Rule #38: If you run into a female Bro you're interested in, tell her that you'd love to stay put but you promised to help out at the homeless Bro shelter today.
Rule #39: It's time to put your Bro Lessons in practice! Get choked up during the Party. The girls will think you're "sensitive". Bring a slice of onion or artificial tears if necessary. Nothing wrong with a Bro who cries.
Rule #40: If pressed and you don't know any fellow Bro's at the party, tell people you're related to Uncle Bron Hains. Everyone has an Uncle Bron Hains.
Rule #41: Don't fixate on one female Bro. ALWAYS have a back-up female Bro.
Rule #42: When seeing a rival Bro, do not interact: merely acknowledge each other with a tug on the popped collar and gracefully move on.
Rule #43: If two rival Bro's pick the same female Bro, the Bro with the lesser seniority will respectfully yield.
Rule #44: No "chicken dancing" at a party: no Bro exceptions.
Rule #45: No more than two parties a weekend. More and your Bro game gets sloppy.
Rule #46: Bring an extra umbrella when it rains. Bro courtesy is key to being a Bro.
Rule #47: Always save room for Bro cake.
Rule #48: When your Bro partner fails, you fail. No Bro is an island.
Rule #49: Smile like a Bro! You're having the time of your Bro life.
Rule #50: Research, research, research the Bro party. And when you are done researching, research some more. Bro's know what they're getting into.
Rule #51: Studies have shown that female Bro's have a more developed sense of smell. Breath mints, A shower and highly-scented hair product: small cost, big Bro yield.
Rule #52: Keep interactions with the parents of the Bro to a minimum.
Rule #53: In case of emergency, refer to the Bro rulebook.
Rule #54: There is no Bro Rule 54. Please go to the next Bro Rule.
Rule #55: No excuses. Play like a Bro.
Rule #56: Carry extra Brotection at ALL times.
Rule #57: The single fellow Bro's sister: is she fair game? Of course she is NOT, Bro.
Rule #58: Stop, look, listen. At a Bro party's and in life.
Rule #59: Don't use the "I have two months to live" bit: not Bro cool, not Bro effective.
Rule #60: A Bro's shoes say a lot about the Bro.
Rule #61: Always choose large Bro parties. More choice. Easier to blend.
Rule #62: Of course you dream of one day having children... Bro Children.
Rule #63: Only take one car between a group of Bro's. You never know when you'll need to make a fast escape.
Rule #64: Try not to show off on the dance floor. This means you, Bro. All Bro's are equal.
Rule #65: Avoid female Bro's who were psychology majors in college. There is no kind of woman more clingy and persistent than a psychologist investigating your Bro story later on.
Rule #66: Be well groomed and poorly-mannered. A typical Bro.
Rule #67: Know when to abandon ship if it ain't floating. In like a Bro, out like Bro.
Rule #68: Make sure your magic trick and balloon animal skills are not rusty. If the kids love it, the female Bro's will too.
Rule #69: Never hit on a Bro's sister even if she is the hottest bombshell at the Party. Just control yourself.
Rule #70: Have fun like Bro! It's why you're there!
Rule #71: Don't look for opportunities; Bro's make them.
Rule #72: Always walk away from a Bro who's collar is not popped. They're clearly not a Bro.
Rule #73: Do not sit in the corner and sulk. It draws attention in a negative way. Draw attention to yourself, but on your own Bro terms.
Rule #74: Even if it means climbing over it, never walk in front of the tv.
Rule #75: If you're texting like a Bro, make sure it goes to the right person.
Rule #76: Represent your Bro's, and make sure you have Bro's that represent you.
Rule#77: Don't lie to yourself, Bro, if you know you're going to hit snooze, set two alarms.
Rule #78: Use Bro Swag responsibly.
Rule #79: If no one laughed the first time, don't repeat it.
Rule #80: There is a 99% chance that you're awesome. Act like it.
Rule #81: Pick one day of the week where you commit to not doing anything.
Rule #82: Relationships come and go and your haters are replaceable, but Bro's are forever.
Rule #84: High fives are an acceptable form of agreement. Brofists might as well be legal contracts.

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Last edited by Guerzy: 01-21-2012 at 09:09 AM.
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