Jets vs. Panthers | January 21st | 6:00 / 7 EST | CBC | Bro Edition Round 2
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01-21-2012, 10:01 AM
Join Date: May 2010
Originally Posted by
Never leave a fellow Bro behind. Bro's take care of their own.
Bro's never use their real name, it's always "Bro".
When crashing another Bro's party, identify yourself as a Bro.
No Bro goes home alone.
Never let a girl come between you and a fellow Bro.
When confronting another fellow Bro, always pump fists.
Blend in by standing out like a Bro.
Bro's are the life of the party.
Style your hair like Bro.
Invitations are not for Bro's..
A sensitive Bro is good.
When it stops being fun, be a Bro and break something.
Always have an up-to-date Bro haircut.
Work out like a Bro at the gym.
The older the Bro the better, the younger the Bro the better (see Rule #16 below)
Definitely make sure she's 18, Bro. That's Brolegal.
You have a Bro party and a Bro after-party to seal the deal. Period. No Brovertime.
There's nothing wrong with having Bro seconds. Provided there is no longer another fellow Bro involved with said involved female Bro.
If you get outed, leave calmly like a Bro. Do not run. Bro's do not run.
Of course you love her like a Bro.
Bro's don't over drink. The machinery must work in order to close.
Bro's make sure there's an open bar.
Always be a Bro team player. Everyone needs a little Bro help now and again.
Know the Bro playbook so you can call a Bro audible.
If you call a Bro audible, always make sure your fellow Bro's know.
Never go back to your place, that's a Bro-No.
Bro's are always gone by sunrise.
At the party, minimum of 10 hard drinks or 15 beers. A drunk Bro is a Bro.
The way to a female Bro's heart is Bromancing her.
Never hit on a Bro's bride -- it's a one way ticket to the pavement.
Try not to break anything, unless you're not having fun like a Bro.
Create an air of mystery that involves some painful Bro experience when interacting with the female Bro you're after. But don't talk about it.
Always remember your fake Bro name! Rehearse it in advance and make sure you know your fellow Bro's code-name as well!
The Rules of being a Bro are sacred. Don't sully them by "improvising."
Make sure all the single female Bro's at the party know you're there because you've just suffered either a terrible breakup or the Jets just lost.
Always work into the conversation: "Yeah, I have tons of Bro money. But how does one buy happiness?"
Be Bro-pensive! It draws out the "Bro-healer" in women.
If you run into a female Bro you're interested in, tell her that you'd love to stay put but you promised to help out at the homeless Bro shelter today.
It's time to put your Bro Lessons in practice! Get choked up during the Party. The girls will think you're "sensitive". Bring a slice of onion or artificial tears if necessary. Nothing wrong with a Bro who cries.
If pressed and you don't know any fellow Bro's at the party, tell people you're related to Uncle Bron Hains. Everyone has an Uncle Bron Hains.
Don't fixate on one female Bro. ALWAYS have a back-up female Bro.
When seeing a rival Bro, do not interact: merely acknowledge each other with a tug on the popped collar and gracefully move on.
If two rival Bro's pick the same female Bro, the Bro with the lesser seniority will respectfully yield.
No "chicken dancing" at a party: no Bro exceptions.
No more than two parties a weekend. More and your Bro game gets sloppy.
Bring an extra umbrella when it rains. Bro courtesy is key to being a Bro.
Always save room for Bro cake.
When your Bro partner fails, you fail. No Bro is an island.
Smile like a Bro! You're having the time of your Bro life.
Research, research, research the Bro party. And when you are done researching, research some more. Bro's know what they're getting into.
Studies have shown that female Bro's have a more developed sense of smell. Breath mints, A shower and highly-scented hair product: small cost, big Bro yield.
Keep interactions with the parents of the Bro to a minimum.
In case of emergency, refer to the Bro rulebook.
There is no Bro Rule 54. Please go to the next Bro Rule.
No excuses. Play like a Bro.
Carry extra Brotection at ALL times.
The single fellow Bro's sister: is she fair game? Of course she is NOT, Bro.
Stop, look, listen. At a Bro party's and in life.
Don't use the "I have two months to live" bit: not Bro cool, not Bro effective.
A Bro's shoes say a lot about the Bro.
Always choose large Bro parties. More choice. Easier to blend.
Of course you dream of one day having children... Bro Children.
Only take one car between a group of Bro's. You never know when you'll need to make a fast escape.
Try not to show off on the dance floor. This means you, Bro. All Bro's are equal.
Avoid female Bro's who were psychology majors in college. There is no kind of woman more clingy and persistent than a psychologist investigating your Bro story later on.
Be well groomed and poorly-mannered. A typical Bro.
Know when to abandon ship if it ain't floating. In like a Bro, out like Bro.
Make sure your magic trick and balloon animal skills are not rusty. If the kids love it, the female Bro's will too.
Never hit on a Bro's sister even if she is the hottest bombshell at the Party. Just control yourself.
Have fun like Bro! It's why you're there!
Don't look for opportunities; Bro's make them.
Always walk away from a Bro who's collar is not popped. They're clearly not a Bro.
Do not sit in the corner and sulk. It draws attention in a negative way. Draw attention to yourself, but on your own Bro terms.
Even if it means climbing over it, never walk in front of the tv.
If you're texting like a Bro, make sure it goes to the right person.
Represent your Bro's, and make sure you have Bro's that represent you.
Don't lie to yourself, Bro, if you know you're going to hit snooze, set two alarms.
Use Bro Swag responsibly.
If no one laughed the first time, don't repeat it.
There is a 99% chance that you're awesome. Act like it.
Pick one day of the week where you commit to not doing anything.
Relationships come and go and your haters are replaceable, but Bro's are forever.
High fives are an acceptable form of agreement. Brofists might as well be legal contracts.
wow Bro i was totally moved by these commandments! it brought me to tears after i used a slice of onion juice over my eyes!
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