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02-15-2012, 07:06 AM
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Reliable NonSequitur
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Originally Posted by Dampland View Post
Actually, I don't know a gif from a fig, but I asked someone here last month to make this, and they were kind enough to post it. It should be in the Wild avatar thread.
Yeah that was me. And honestly I never shoulda made that one, cause those green circle ones are unlucky as ****.

Originally Posted by Burns4Norris View Post
I'm excited for Avder's reaction post later tonight.
I think you'll be disappointed.

Originally Posted by NHL1674 View Post
Hopefully Avder understands that this was expected, and calms the #@$! down.
I think you'll be pleased.

Originally Posted by Fel 96 View Post
Wait, what happened in the game?

Who were the refs?
Denny ****ing LaRue. Remember him? Wasnt it him that tossed Johnson in Calgary in the "Iginla called his own penalty" incident? Yeah that ****er.

Anyhoo, heres what I wrote while watching the game.

Woke up at 5 to watch this game. Gonna write this post GDT style.

Oh of course we get stuck with third-tier Versus announcer John Forslund, rather than the quality announcemanship of Dave Strader. Cant really blame Versus tho, cant imagine many people watched this game live, considering it was V-Day and all.

Talk talk talk... okay, fast forward to puck drop.

Allright, drop the puck on this thing, lets see how we do. Hey is it 2003? The Wild are wearing white at home! I actually wish the NHL would go back to home wears White rather than visitor wears white, would give the fans much greater jersey variety, being able to see the visitors darks. The way it works now its allways home reds or on special occasions home greens against away whites. Booooring.

Good to see harding back in net. Why did he sit so damned long? Come on, you know he woulda played beastly his first game back after that collossal collapse against Nashy.

Nice chance by the ducks....and then icing...annnd back and forth play...and then icing against us, 17 to go in the first. Whats this, Goalie interference? Well, looked like Schultz tried to throw the attacker into Harding and missed, and the attacker just said "oh **** it, I'm going in". Lets see how this powerless play goes...

...and we clear the puck ourselves cause we cant aim out passes... HEATER SCORES!! WEEEE!!!! Amazing! We scored on the powerplay!

But wait...didnt we score first in most of our last several losses? Well, crap. Still. Heater from Zids and Koivu...decent start. Gotta keep building on it. Man that goal looks even nicer in slow-mo.

Icing on the Wild. Yeah, well, okay. And then we cant make our passes to get out of the zone and we just keep passing it to the Ducks. And then when we get into their zone they just send it right back down below our goal line. Now its like Anaheim is playing keepaway in our zone. Dump and change and somehow we actually get the play to happen in THEIR zone... then again it is the 4th line, which completely explains everything. Damn if our 4th line could score....

Brodz misses a the net again.

Hey whats this? Multiple shifts in the opponents zone? No, now its back in ours cause the first line is back out and we all know our scoring lines arent comfortable anywhere but our own zone.

We really need to look at the mentality our lines have cause it seems like the 4th line knows how to get into the opponents zone while the top line just spends most shifts playing defense.

Hey! FIGHT! Get him Kassian!

Man, slow fight.

Ha, Forslund called Staubitz a "tough guy". Well I guess maybe. He just didnt know how to agitate right.

More play in our zone...surprised we didnt end up called for icing there...

We draw another powerplay? More than one in a game?? Am I still watching the Wild game??!?! Incredible. But still not high on this powerplay thing even if we are 1/1.

I just noticed something... in addition to all of our shots being stop-set-shoot, all of our passes are stop-set-pass. Is there something wrong with the team that it cant one-touch anything? Passes or shots? It lets the defense get set for a possible shot or a possible pass. We need to move the puck faster and take more one-timers.

And nothing doing on this PP...and now we get called for offsides. Bleah.

Well that powerplay was about what I expected. Whole lot of nothing.

5 minutes to go in this period. Kind of surprised the Ducks havnt been swarming.

Wow, 5 total shots in this period. And the ducks hit the post in a big furball in front of our net. Come on, clear the front of the net better, guys. At least put the Ducks on their *****.

For some reason Zids reminds me of what Burns used to do sometimes when he would try to do everything, and thats a bad thing. It means Zids is out of position and a forward has to cover his position. Why have we not scratched him?

Stretch pass for Brodz and instead of going to the net he...flings the puck backwards into the defenders skates.

Oh goodie, Ducks turning up the heat. Just what we dont need in the last 90 seconds of a period.

Haha, duck misses his check and just rams the glass. Sucker.

Zanon gets caught holding someone. Oh good. Now weve given them a PP to start the second.

Manbearcat: 1
Wiseassed Waterfowl: 0

End one.

Intermission coverage? **** that. PREPARE TO FAST FORWARD! Preparing to fast forward, sir! FAST FORWARD! Fast forwarding sir!

Yeah I'm not gonna watch the Milsbury Doughboy if I dont have to. Wish I could do this during the FSNorth Faceoff, but you cant FF live TV.

Okay, start of the second, and the Ducks have a PP...

What kind of a clear attempt was that, Spurgie? Its like you were passing to a duck.

Boy, we sure got lucky the Ducks didnt get an empty netter.

And we killed the penalty. Okay. Lets play hockey, mmk?

And were being out hit 9-6. Why cant we have homer stat keepers like everyone else does?

Nice chance by Heater cruising in...and we draw another penalty. Still have mixed feelings.

Battle in the corner and...the ducks bring it all the way in and waste at least 30 seconds because we have no puck control skills.

Waste another 20 seconds before we even get back to their its a 70 second pp.

Stop set pass. Stop set shoot. One time the damned thing for ****s sake.

Heater tries it from the slot...who didnt see that coming?

And we bring it in offsides. Sigh. Remember back when we were winning and we NEVER brought it in offsides? Those were good days man.

Powerplay over. Back to back and forth.

Forth line forechecking. Why cant the other three do that?

Back and forth back and forth...and the Ducks get a little posession time...and we ice it.

Dump we actually sent forechekers in.

God dammit, I dropped my remote and had to listen to 5 seconds of commercials before I foast forwarded.

More Duck zone time... and we just barely missed that stretch pass.. that woulda been fun.

Ha, Heater won a puck race.

Harding makes a nice save there. Hes looked decent tonight.

Being outshot 13-9.

This period is just dragging on forever. And I dont think the Wild have gotten any zone time for like 5 minutes. Feels like were just sitting back a bit, even tho we are forechecking.

Carried in offsides? We were shoved in.

At least were dominating in 2nd period faceoffs 12-3.

More duck time deep in our zone... and we finally chip it off the glass and out. Sigh. Wish we could pass or carry it out.

Oh just what we needed, a late period PK... is this 2 or 4? Four. ****.

WTF, Brodz taken down, no call!??! RAWARWWWRARAWRARWA AVDER ANGRY

Theres a half drank bottle of wine on the table by the couch from last night. Half thinking I might need to drink it to make it through the third.

Well at least this PK is pretty uneventful so far. Hope I didnt jinx it.

Duck post count: 2.

It's a Cat, Dammit: 1
Aflac Gives You Cash: 0

End Two.

FAST FORWARDING SIR! the ducks have 50 seconds of PP time left.

Man this post is getting long. And not many curse words. My apologies to anyone who wanted to see another one of my asterisk laden rants. Dont worry, theres still the third period and I could easily blow my stack the way the Wild are just sorta sitting back.

Dammit, best chance of the night and Hiller made it look easy.

Being outshot 16-11.

Good god ref, takes you long enough to blow the ****ing whistle for us when Hards has it. Same ****, different day.

McMillan shoots it way above the goal on that rush...

And the Ducks are starting to run rampant around our goal. Get physical already, guys!

I think I like Cullen as a wing with Brodz. Not as much as I liked the HBJ line, but...yeah well.

Hey look at this, the top lines gets a shift in the opponents zone. Did nothing. Oh well.

I like Christensen. He just seems to be in the right places when he needs to be.

Dump and change. Yawn. And right back into our zone.

That time we didnt even dump right before we changed.

12:40 to go. Go clock, go.

Dump and change and back into our zone again. We need to kill this Ducks surge.

And theres the tying goal Koivu passed it right to Hagman and we dont have any defenders in front of our net to take care of business. **** me. Got a bad feeling about this.

The crowd is starting to boo already. Boo louder!

More play in our zone, and then we dump it down for icing. The Ducks have got us dead to rights at this point. Weve done nothing but sit back since the middle of the 2nd.

And Anaheim shows us how you should do a dump and chase.

Brodz, Brodz, hands like chainsaws.

Oh hey, we get a little zone time now. Come on, get something.

Zzzzz dump and change.

And then Perry just walks in and scores. And were about to lose another game where we scored first and led most of the way. **** me.

Wild have 7 and a half to get a goal. Yeah right, were making Hiller looks like a Vezina contender.

Centering pass to nobody. Boy, that guy sure would be great if he could ever end his goal drought...we sure pass to him enough.

Outshot 25-15. What else is new?

Refs miss a call that would have put us on the PP. Now we go on the PK. Thanks refs! ****ing Zebras. **** you, Denny LaRue! HEY THAT RHYMES! ****ing NHL officiating is trying to make NBA reffing look competent.

Part of me actually hopes the Ducks get a goal here so maybe we become sellers at the deadline. Am I a traitor now?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA Denny LaRue takes a puck HARD and the crowd ROARS! I would too, that ref is a DICK. He's been on my **** list for a while this year. KARMA, *****!

Penalty killed, and weve got 3 minutes to get a goal now. And what do we do? Dump and barely chase. ****, its like weve just accepted our fate and now were in tank mode.

2 minutes to go, we should pull hards NOW if we actually want to try to make the playoffs.

1:35 on the clock, hards pulled, and we just spent our timeout. Empty net goal incoming.

We look like total **** 6 on 5 here. Running around like morons.

Crowd booing.

Time ticks down.

Game over.

Minnesota MILD: 1
Mother ****ing Anaheim: 2


Final thoughts: I aint even mad. I saw it coming a mile away when we started sitting back in the 2nd like we thought we were gonna win 1-0.

Are we sellers at the deadline yet?

This ******** isn't even worth attempting a rant. **** it. I'm gonna try to go back to bed. Its almost 7am and I'm suddenly tired again.

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