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11-12-2003, 05:17 AM
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Davisian's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Broomfield, CO
Posts: 6,079
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dedalus - SBOB - pld459666

A highly skilled and intelligent first line, these guys have been through it all (cola wars, mullets, the rivals shutdown) and always set the tone for Rangers posting. Feared an respected, they'll have their jersey's in the rafters someday.

Melrose Jr. - Jr#9 - True Blue

This abrasive but two way line can shut down the opposition, and score at will.. Their "off ice" bonding at local bars has given them a sixth sense in knowing when the others are ready for a refill..

Edge - Laches - Larry Melnyk

These guys will pin you in your own zone, make your goalie cry, and sue your ass for failing to provide them with a challenge.. Any success is viewed as failure unless they reach the holy grail.. Which is vintage dependent..

Liquid Clown - sickboy35 - Theo Fan

As complete a 4th line as you'll find in the game, they'll beat you down, then puke their pre game 12 packs all over you while your down. Then after the game they'll take you out for the time of your life.. do yourself a favor, stay on their good side..

Extra forwards- aneirin (currently serving suspension), Servo (on legal assignment..


Fletch - Riz

A stay at home (but goes out all night) American born defenseman, with the highly skilled european blueliner (who commutes from some frigign country like Norway, EVERYDAY) makes this a feared top pair..

kodiak - Shadowtron

These guys play it under the radar. You don't realize they're there, until you approach the front of the net, in which case you'll be in the corner sucking your thumb wondering what the hell happened to your woobie..

Brooklyn Ranger - Oldtimer

Brooklyn, the first female in Rangers history is the straw that stirs the drink, and makes accountability a staple of Ranger posting.. Keep your head up when approaching, if you foolishly dare.. Her partner would just as soon rip your face off and **** down your neck, but the meds have worked wonders..

7th- Evil Sather- Suites up for Philly, Islander games, reasons are obvious, he's evil fer chrissakes..

Goalie- Draft Guru- His movment, like his articles are a little late, but always on the spot. A winner through and through..

Backup- Fish- Not seen often, as he's on special assignment, but the dude is clutch and clutch is ummm, clutch is good..

President/GM/Head Coach- Klingsor

This old battle axe has seen and done it all.. Calm in the face of chaos and his practice of playing "Ride of the Valkyries" as his team breaks up ice can unnerve the most stout opponent.. Calm, fair exterior masks the rage and competetive fire that burns within.. Slow to anger, quick to laughter, this guy's charges would run through walss for him, which he makes them do if they don't find his monicle in time..

Assitant Coach/Video- King

klingsor's right hand and the hardest working man on the squad, "Big Sal" as he's called by his peers will have video prepared before the play finishes.

Trainer- Davisian, a pack a day habit and excessive drinking keep this punk from suiting up.. Kept around for beer runs, and to watch e-bay bids for the lineup.. Training methods include 'Tussin, Windex and Jagrmeister.

Honorable mentions-

The following stable of youth on the farm frequently scrimmages with the big squad, and wins their fair share.. These kids are a force, and will keep the squad on top for many years to come..

Mark Pavelich

Jackson Ranger

Vito Andolini

nYr Lundmark 21




#37 #93 #27





Rabid Ranger





jar jar links



professor Frink

Shapa 999

L.I. Ranger fan


And many more..

Any exclusions are the fault of the author's drunkeness...

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