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04-09-2012, 09:30 PM
****ing amaxing dman
PaulProteus's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Raleigh, NC
Country: United States
Posts: 1,103
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So my wife won this thing from the Carolina Ale House, thanks to attending 4 Canes Cool Bars and also spending at least $10 per visit. (My bar tab is usually in multiples of $50, so it wasn't a high bar to clear.) I was out when she got the phone call, but got an IM composed almost entirely in ALLCAPS and finished off with a "!!!11!!!1!1"

We trucked out to Cary today, and pick this bad boy up. I strapped the thing in the bed of my truck as best as I could, and thought it would be total win for the ride home (North Raleigh, basically). I jump on 440, and sort of forget about it. I hit speed, cruise for a bit, then I look back and it's literally standing on two legs in the truck bed, stretching the straps to the breaking point. My wife had a bit of an emotional episode at this (and I about **** myself thinking about potential liability issues if that ****er takes flight and lands on someone's hood at 60 or 70 mpg). Those stick blades sticking up caught enough air to almost take the thing airborne, tie-downs or no.

So I slow down, jump off on exit 3, and tool over to the PNC Arena. After I slowed down and got off 440, it sat back down on all four legs, but I wanted to be sure that it would be fine for the rest of the way up Creedmoor to Milbrook, etc. (No more 440 for this guy today.)

I went ahead and just pulled into the PNC Parking lot, not really thinking about what day it was today, and that there would be quite a few people around. Hello, exit interview day. I was about ready to lose my **** at this point, and just wanted someplace quiet and out of the way. As I'm in the back of the truck, several of the PNC workers wandered over and admired it, and caught quite a bit of my sailor talk as I'm working the straps over good.

I look up, and there's JR pulling out of the parking lot right in front of us. He's staring right at me as I'm trying to get this thing secured. The look on his face was pure "lol wat?" I gave him sort of a half-assed wave, but he looked the other way and took off. He should have at least offered to jump up there or help me before getting out of there. I can't imagine what he thought about me and that stupid chair.

So after I got the tie-downs worked out, here comes Ron Francis. My wife would probably leave me for Ron if he were available, him being her most favoritest hockey player of all time and childhood hero. He did give us a very friendly wave. In my own private fantasy he pulled over, lept into the bed of the truck, and signed his own name on there in Sharpie.

What a freaking day. So after hauling this damn thing upstairs and camping it out in our bedroom (literally the only floor space we have available), we're now just sort of "OMG WHAT DO WE DO WITH THIS???")

Savor it, I guess. Good memories, and now I've got a sore shoulder from packing it up the stairs to go along.

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