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06-12-2012, 10:59 AM
Get well soon, GMBM.
hockeyalltheway's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Ottawa, Ontario
Country: Canada
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Senators Acquire Youth, Depth; Trade Away Youth, Depth

Ottawa Senators captain Daniel Alfredsson, pictured, exhibits his thoughts about the moves made by general manager hockeyalltheway to prepare the Senators for the upcoming NHL season. He explained that he was "excited, but at the same time, not?" Deep words by the captain. (AP Photo/Google Images)

OTTAWA - In a trade deadline where most general managers made it their business to wheel and deal, swapping big names for prospects and draft picks, newly-appointed Ottawa general manager hockeyalltheway decided to take a novel approach to the flurry of action.

"I went into the frenzy with only one goal in mind," said hockeyalltheway. "That goal was to make sure my roster was better than freaking Toronto's." Upon seeing the perplexed looks of the media surrounding him, he added, "You weren't expecting one of those canned answers like 'I just want to improve my team,' were you? No, to hell with that. Screw Toronto."

Following the moves that were made, it could be argued that GM hockeyalltheway was successful. As with most other GMs, though, the best trades were the ones he DIDN'T make.

"My first call was to Toronto," he said. At this point, the media really felt as though we were being Punk'd. "No, seriously. I also called several other teams," he added, "but the one constant, in my eyes is that Kyle Turris is being drastically underrated by everyone attempting to acquire him." He explained that of three offers received for him, none were even close to market value.

But does he regret any of the moves he made?

"Not even slightly," he said with a crooked grin that made our photographer cringe.

The Senators weren't nearly as active as other teams, but they did make a couple of significant splashes in the trade market. Their first deal, which will impact the team for many years down the road, saw them accelerate the rebuild by acquiring very solid, established players. Ryane Clowe, Joe Pavelski and Brent Burns all became Ottawa Senators. In exchange, the team gave Colin Greening, Nick Foligno and Jared Cowen, all young players with very high upsides. In particular, losing Cowen was regrettable for the Senators, but they felt it was in the team's best interests to accept and not look back.

"Obviously, a deal like that is a pretty easy one to make, from my perspective," said hockeyalltheway. "The players I gave up are young, but it's not like the ones I got back were old, decrepit sacks of trash. Well, except for Ryane."

"Hey, screw him. I was a loyal, heart & soul player for that team," said Clowe, whose name was called "absolutely ridiculous" and "the reason dictionaries were invented" by hockeyalltheway.

Maybe it was this conflict of personality that caused Clowe to be shuffled more than a deck of cards in a Vegas casino. Mere hours after being acquired, Ottawa sent the decrepit sack of trash to the New York Rangers.

"I resent you guys calling me that too, you know," Clowe snarled at local media. Well, tough, Ryane. You don't pay our bills.

Clowe was sent packing in exchange for two young up-and-coming players, forward Artem Anisimov and defenceman Michael Sauer.

"I snipe real good now, yes?" asked Anisimov. "I make decision go myself. I try play, forget to adjust play, check hard. I feel free. Is so important."

"What?" asked hockeyalltheway.

"Is so important I shoot I score."

The Senators will begin the season with a relatively deep roster for the first time in years, although Daniel Alfredsson's age will be a mitigating factor in personnel decisions in the off-season. For now, though, the Senators boast a solid offensive corps, a defensive unit led by offensive stalwarts Erik Karlsson and Brent Burns, and a goaltending tandem that doesn't even have room for veteran journeyman Alex Auld. When asked about this roster decision, GM hockeyalltheway sketched this drawing quickly:

So, this makes GM hockeyalltheway's goals for this season fairly clear: make it to the playoffs. This is a bold move considering how much better the teams around the Senators got, but it will be interest--

"Hey, I can see what you're writing," said hockeyalltheway. "Didn't I JUST tell you my goal is to beat the freaking Leafs? Stupid hack reporters."

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