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08-26-2012, 10:15 PM
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Originally Posted by FANonymous View Post
Ugh soccer. It's a good idea for a game but it needs a few tweaks.

The playing field and the goals need to be smaller. This would allow for a better back and forth. Obviously you'd have to remove some of the players from each team for this to work. There needs to be an absolute offsides as opposed to the current "relative to the defenders" system so you'd have to add a line on the playing field.

Speaking of the playing field, running around on grass is pretty meh, I'd flood that **** with water and freeze it. If you did that you'd probably have to add some kind of walls around the outside of the field to help keep the ball in play. You'd have to move the goals out into the field a little bit so that the ball couldn't get stuck between the goal and a wall. Also, balls are overused in sports, let's make it into a mini rubber pancake or something instead. That would be hard to kick though, so I'd recommend some kind of a long rod used to control it instead.

If people are running around with rods we'll probably need to put pads and helmets on them for safety. We don't want the game to be too safe though, otherwise it will lose its "dangerous" appeal. Let's slap some razor blades on the bottom of their feet, that should amp things up a bit. To take it over the top, when emotions are flaring, we could let the players just punch the crap out of each other and then make them sit down to cool off for a few minutes. It'd probably be best to isolate them from the rest of their team during this point otherwise things could escalate. Put them in something like an "infraction room," before allowing them to rejoin their team.

I don't know, I think my version of soccer would be way more entertaining...
You are, of course, aware that this is the "other sports" thread, right? Please make particular note of the "other".

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