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10-10-2012, 04:46 PM
  #925
Ave Maria
New Season New Dream
 
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Join Date: May 2011
Location: Westchester,NY
Country: Italy
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guys I need ur opinion on my opening paragraph for a story I have to write. It has to about something that people would not necessarily think it is harmful or scary and make it so. It has to be in a sci-fi setting.

Under a pile of rubble in the old city’s remains laid a strange book that emitted this ghastly green light. No human had been in the old city in over 500 years due to the New New York City built right on top of it. The book had a golden latch with the inscription on the cover, “Readers be warned, an unforgivable evil lies inside and will be revealed when the latch is opened.” The book was the reason why the people of old New York city had to create a new city. The few remaining people who survived were able to create the new city but were sadly unable to find the book and destroy it. When opened a unforeseen terror will wreak havoc upon the civilization it closest to. The story unfolds by a young man stumbling upon something not seen for several centuries.

lmk what y'all think

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