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10-10-2012, 08:33 PM
silverfish's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Standing on a Train
Country: United States
Posts: 16,538
vCash: 500
Have you guys been reading Cheap Throat: Diary of a Locked Out NHL Player? These are awesome. I hope it's real...

Day 1 (for example)...

12:00PM ó Got up. Had three coffees and a box of Sudafed before I remembered there was no practice today. Washed the Maserati. Called agent to see if there were any jobs I could take away from old friends in Europe. Watched Ellen.

Created myself in NHL2K12. Rose up the minor league ranks by lunchtime. Beat the **** out PK Subban in my first game. Itís not racism. I just donít like the guy. Then GM traded me to the Habs. Still refuse to pass him the puck. So confused.

5:15PM ó Made pasta. Ate it. Made more pasta. Ate it. Will probably have more pasta later. But where will these carbs go? Am I getting fat? Should work out. Big lats day. Yes. Will have a big lats day. Maybe hammer out some calves and do some burpees. Then finish Anna Karenina.

7:18PM ó Homeless guy asked me for money. Said i had none. Jesus. I mean, I had no change. But was I being honest? My first contract was $847,000. I should probably carry more change.

8:12PM ó Mum called. That was tough. Sheís worried, offered to bring over soup. I said Iím okay. Thinking about maybe going to Sweden or Russia, I said. She said that would be good. Take my mind off things. Mom always knows. I hope she brings the soup.

10:38PM ó Finally finished Gravityís Rainbow. At least this lockout is good for something. Next: Infinite Jest. Obvs.

11:51PM ó If women dig me because Iím a hockey player, but Iím not actually, you know, playing hockey, will women still dig me?

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