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11-05-2012, 01:12 PM
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Rochester, NY
Originally Posted by
Second, you need to find a family member of hers, or BFF, or whatever, and talk openly, without violating her confidence, about your concerns. Given her health hisotry, which you've written of previously, you need to understand if either of these issues have come up before. i.e., (A) losing will / fight to live or care for herself, (B) making that will contingent on the love / affection of another.
You have legit concerns about her physical and emotional health, which are intertwined, and it's unfair for her to (so fully) burden you with that inter-connection at that phase of your relationship. You've only been out west a couple months, right?
I agree with finding a family member and have you and the family member speak to her about her issues. These are her issues, not yours.
I find it upsetting and selfish that she's using her illness as a way to stay attached to someone.
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