46th Obsequious Banter Thread - Kimbi Daniels and his frequent FLYER miles
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11-13-2012, 06:57 PM
Join Date: Dec 2006
Originally Posted by
I threw my old entertainment stand up on craigslist. It was a pretty nice peice. Solid wood (not that particle board ****), glass, and pretty ****ing high quality.I was asking for 100 bucks (I bought the thing for 700 less than a year ago.)
Some college girl, couldn't have been older than 20, comes by to see and proceeds to ask me 20 questions about it. "Are there previous owners?"... "Does it come with different handles?" ... "Is it biodegradeable?" NO, It's a ****ing entertainment stand, it doesn't have "previous owners." NO, it doesn't come with different handles... this is not Ikea, you don't get to customize, the item is sold AS IS. And NO, I don't even ****ing know if it's bio-degradeable... **** you for asking.
She examines it a bit more closely and finds a scratch on the BACK PANEL (the side that sits against the wall), and tries to take 20 bucks off the price. I told her, no... it's 100 bucks, and if that little scratch is a deal breaker then she can move along I've got a few more ppl coming to see it. She mulls it over and in the end agrees to it... FINE... ****... WHATEVER!
She and I carry it out to the driveway where I find her brand new 2012 Mini Cooper. I tell her that we might be able to fit it inside if she puts down the back seats and folds her passenger seat all the way forward. She is unwilling to try, she doesn't want to mess up her leather interior... go ****ing figure. She has surf racks and suggests that we could strap it to the roof. I agree, not because I think it's a good idea, but mainly because I just want her to ****ing leave. I ask her for her bungie straps... of course she doesn't have any... she sees the ones in my truck and asks me if she can HAVE them...Are you serious?... No, you may not HAVE my bungie straps.
She calls her friend who lives close by to come over with bungee straps. As I am sitting there... twiddling my thumbs... she gets off the phone and actually says this, "So I have to drive pretty far... can you take 20 bucks off the price for GAS money?"
Right before I lose my **** on her... A truck pulls into my driveway and blocks her in. Guy gets out of the car and shouts out, "Ey, is this the entertainment center... Oh, ****" He sees the girl standing in my driveway and the pissed off look in my face and says, "You still sellin'?" ... "For now I am." Guy takes one sweep around it and says, looks at her... then looks back at me, "I like it, I'll give you 120 right now for it." Deal. Totally ignoring the girl, he and I hoist it into his truckbed. Secure it down and wrap it up with blankets. Shake hands and he drives away. The whole transaction didn't take more than 2 minutes.
I turn back around and she is standing there in shock like... WTF just happened. I just smile and say, "Well, looks like we're done here."
Her friend shows up at my house 3 hours later with the bungie straps.
That's a great ending.
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