Lady Advice Thread XXX: Hey, how you doin'? (Warning in OP)
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11-29-2012, 02:34 AM
Kassian = P.A.G.A.N
Join Date: Apr 2010
Originally Posted by
You know how when a girl kicks you out it's usually cause you did something stupid or said something stupid?
My friend kicked me out for just sitting there. She told me to wait for her while she cleaned up a mess she made in the kitchen. Fair enough. When she came back in she was quite angry and kicked me out without any reason. I'm sure I did something but damn I'm too confused to be upset. She invited me over to hang out, ignored me the whole time, then kicked me out. I was there maybe 15 minutes if that...What does it mean?
Nothing in his post indicates that he did anything.
She invited him over. She told him to wait. Went about her business. Came back and kicked him out without explanation. All within 15 mins.
None of that sounds remotely reasonable.
There are an infinite amount of reasons why she did this.
Maybe she had a bad day?
Maybe she just sharted in her pants?
Maybe she just got a booty call?
Maybe shes angry at something he did 5 years ago and hasnt had the maturity to discuss it with him?
Originally Posted by
The emotional empathy is relevant (albeit replace 'relationship' and 'friendship' if they are indeed just friends). He realizes she was in a ****** mood and feels he may have contributed to it, but he's not sure how. Consequently, he's doing some introspection. All of that's perfectly
is to say it's a recipe for disaster to worry or even think
that you might have contributed to her ****** mood. Your point would've been completely reasonable had you left it as 'don't beat yourself up over it, you might not have done anything wrong'.
No where did I say someone should
think about what they did or didn't do.
And yes it is a recipe for disaster when quite clearly you have done nothing to elicit such a response for you to take on board the responsibility for that response.
Not to mention this kind of thought process is what makes people prone to "emotional blackmail".
Mature relationships are all about being able to empathize with how a person is feeling accept responsibility for your actions and not taking on board issues that aren't yours.
My point is completely reasonable given the circumstances the poster laid out.
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