Lady Advice Thread XXXI: A woman needs love
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11-30-2012, 02:32 PM
Join Date: Mar 2008
Originally Posted by
I'll give you my take, but remember it's just the humble opinion of one guy who doesn't know a thing about either of you. First off. she sounds a little emotionally immature. If you're okay with that and want to pursue her nonetheless, keep reading. Otherwise just cut your ties and chalk her up as a lost cause. There are plenty of fish in the sea after all.
She wanted you to make a move for three months and you didn't. Then, you finally say "we should hang out sometime", which made her
you to make that move by asking her out on a legitimate date. She got overcommitted to her expectation, so she (wrongly, I imagine) interpreted your lack of an immediate response as a mini rejection. She, in turn, reciprocated that perceived rejection by giving you the cold shoulder.
I'm inclined to believe you're still in if you want it, but now you're going to have to work for what was essentially handed to you on a platter. Don't tell her you were too busy to make those plans to hang out with her, because women always expect that you'll make time for them. Instead, tell her you were suffering from some temporary shyness (sounds very plausible in your case) and didn't know what to say to her,
but you have to be assertive and immediately follow up on this by asking her on an actual date.
You can only really pull this off if you get the assertive aspect down. If you come across as weak/beta she'll continue to act like you wronged her in some dire way, and all you'll get is that cold shoulder. Women love the notion that they make guys shy around them, but they absolutely hate it when guys they're interested in actually act shy around them. So tell it, sell it, but don't show it, if that makes sense. Hope everything works out, but at this point you might as well just be carefree about it and let go of any hopes/expectations for her, regardless of whether or not you decide to follow up.
Appreciate the detailed response, right now I could walk away, but this is really intriguing to me. I always felt that I acted in a different manner than I have with other girls in the past, I led most of the conversations, I felt comfortable, confident, but maybe I got to complacent and waited a tad to long. Now your second part about asking on an actual date this time, I just wouldn't want to get caught in the trap of having her think that I have already asked. I feel like I can approach this confidently, but I wouldn't know how to take it from the "lets hang out sometime." to "lets go out." especially after yesterday and the way she was acting.
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