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12-02-2012, 10:14 PM
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Reliable NonSequitur
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Join Date: Jun 2011
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Finished Bioshock last night. I marathoned the last few levels because it was just so much fun and I HAD to beat it. Fun as hell. <3 using stuff like plasmids. I just wish the sound code was better. Seems like it had too many odd limits for simultaneous sound effects to mix.

So it's on to Bioshock 2 now... annnnd... I has a complaint. not about the game, because I've barely played any of it yet. No, I have a complaint about how hard it is to just get to a point where I actually CAN play.

See, with Bioshock 1, I told steam "hey, I wanna play this, download it and lets go" so I go do something for like 5 minutes while it downloads and then I just get to jump in and go.

With Bioshock 2, it's download and then start jumping through hoops, because in addition to Steam, which itself is DRM (albeit very unintrusive for the most part), Bioshock 2 also comes with "Games for Windows Live", which was apparently Microsofts dismally failed attempt to do what Steam was doing a couple years ago.

So I download Bioshock 2, fire it up, select singleplayer and the games for windows thing pops up and tells me I need to create a profile... okay I guess, I'll do that, so I click the button and it minimizes the game and opens a browser (internet explorer of course, ignoring the fact that Firefox is my default browser) and takes me to the xbox live signup thing since I guess GFWL and Xbox Live are the same overall system? Whatever.

Anyway I notice that it just wants a Microsoft ID, so I decide I'll try my hotmail email and password and what do you know, it works. The system assigns me an arbitrary gamer tag that I actually thought sounded clever, and that was that. This is the only part of the whole procedure that went the way I wanted it to.

So I get back into the game and try to get things going there, and it starts to cough up crap about patches and whatnot. Okay, game patches are good, right? Well it's not updating the game. It's updating the GFWL DRM. It's at this point that I start to gnash my teeth and just get really annoyed and started to mentally compose this post in my head.

So after what felt like forever, it finally updates the DRM and I get back into the game for like the third time, expecting to finally play, and then I get hit with the ACTUAL game patch. Click, start waiting, use the sheer power of my rage to tear a phone book in half. Okay that last part didn't happen, but that was how ticked off I am at this point.

Finally gets done updating and I get back into the game for the fourth damn time. I give it my email address and password and I hit sign in and.... "Games for Windows Live Client has Crashed"



No, it's not kidding me. I restarted the game and it happened again. So I fire up firefox and start googling about the issue and I find a solution online because apparently this is a rather common problem. So I download some part of GFWL that apparently does not come with Bioshock and does not get downloaded through the patching process and I install it and I reboot my computer because that's what all MS crap makes you do when you install it.

So the computer restarts, I'm ready to explode out of sheer rage, so I fire up the game for like the 6th time and finally, FINALLY, I get to SEE THE SINGLE PLAYER MAIN MENU FOR THE FIRST TIME.

So I set up my controls and whatnot and all my preferences and played the first couple of minutes but I was so damned pissed off that I could not enjoy it.

I mean GOD DAMN, why did they make it so ****ING HARD just to START PLAYING THE GOD DAMNED GAME????


In the time it took me to download it through steam, configure all the GFWL ****, and fix the ensuing crashes, I bet I could have logged into a torrent site, found an appropriate torrent of Bioshock 2 that's cracked, downloaded it, and played the first level. And I'm not endorsing piracy, I'm really not, but you know damned well that the pirates have an easier and smoother experience than a lot of legal, paying customers like myself at this point.

Why do game makers keep treating their paying customers like criminals?

Just... ****.

I can't believe some of this ****. I just can't.

Where's the tylenol? I need to go lie down again.

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