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12-05-2012, 11:04 AM
  #81
optimus2861
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Bedford NS
Country: Canada
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Buck Aki Berg View Post
Despite what she says about this not being a question of me potentially cheating on her, I know that she’s been cheated on in the past, and it devastated her, so I know her past experiences are factoring into the equation.
You won't like to hear this, but if you want to commit to this woman then I think you have to drop your single female friends. You have to demonstrate to her unequivocally that you are not the guy who will cheat on her and that you take her concerns seriously.

She's probably heard all the "I won't cheat on you, honest, she's just a friend!" excuses in the book and is completely unpersuaded. The words mean nothing to her if they're not backed up with action. In fact, she sees your words & actions as incongruous: if these friends mean nothing to you, why hang out with them knowing that it upsets her? Why continually challenge her about this and put her on the defensive?

You are dealing with a woman who carries the emotional scars of past infidelity, so of course she reacts emotionally to the mere thought that it could happen again, this time with you. You can't talk her out of her feelings. You have to act to ease her concerns.

I think it's either that, or this relationship will soon collapse under the strain.

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