Lady Advice Thread XXXI: A woman needs love
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12-05-2012, 01:12 PM
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Bedford NS
Originally Posted by
Buck Aki Berg
Giving up friends on the sole grounds that "she's a girl" with
no other reasoning behind it
is not behavior I should be supporting, and it sets a bad precedent in our relationship going forward. (...) Despite that, she still opposes the friendship
Forget the word "reasoning"; I told you already, it's
. She's having a serious
reaction to your continuing to hang out with these single female friends of yours, because of her past experience with infidelity and the
scars it caused her. She can't give you a reason because she doesn't have one; it also means you can't reason it out of her. Nevertheless, the emotion she feels is very real, and your relationship will continue being unhealthy without it being addressed by one or both of you. She clearly has not fully healed from those past scars so I think it's up to
to make the move here. Your continuing stubbornness on this point must be making her question whether you value her feelings.
Who is more important to you - a woman who you are merely friends with, or the woman you
? The answer had better be obvious.
I went through something like this in the past, FYI; I had a crazy jealous ex who hated that I hung out with a single female friend, even though I had no romantic interest in the friend. I was already getting vibes of controlling, try-to-change-me behaviour from the ex so I didn't acquiesce to that request. If the situation were to repeat itself with my fiance, who does not have such tendencies, I'd probably give her what she wants (it's kind of moot since I really don't hang out with any single females any more).
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