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12-16-2012, 03:36 PM
  #56
Zip15
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I read Kevin O.'s game story, and, as JJ alluded to, if you're going to write something that you know fans are going to seize upon and be very upset about--the "they weren't too upset with the loss, and were quite pleased with themselves over the week they had" issue--I want some quotes suggesting that was the case. Based on that game story, I'm left to think that there weren't any quotes and, in his opinion (and without going into whether a beat writer should be offering opinion in a game story), the locker room wasn't somber enough after a loss like that or some such. Give the reader something to demonstrate the serious point you're trying to convey, rather than giving a "Trust me, I know" perspective.

I don't have an opinion on Kevin O. one way or the other, but I didn't love this game story. In addition to the points raised above, I thought it came off as whiny, and his frustration with the Amerks' struggles against Toronto came through. He came off as a fan, rather than someone who should sound like an objective bystander. Just my opinion, though.

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