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01-01-2013, 09:41 PM
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scythe's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Canada
Country: Canada
Posts: 324
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I think the boards should be covered in barbed wire and the glass should be replaced by a steel cage. The nets should be on fire. Penalties such as cross-checking, high-sticking, etc... should be eliminated. One player on each team will carry a chainsaw which they can use with impunity.

Finishing a game without any bodychecks will result in being benched for the next game and fined. The nets will be widened to soccer lengths. To compensate for this the goalies will be allowed to wear as big of equipment as they can possibly fit on their bodies.

During every TV timeout a random fan will be selected to step on to the ice with the goal to avoid being run over by players. Success means free season tickets for a year.

Punishment for allowing a goal means the goalie must step into the fire net and retrieve the puck himself.

The ice surface will be shrunk in half to allow for more body contact. Also, all plastic found in a player's gear will be replaced by light-weight titanium.

Also, the Stanley Cup will be renamed as the Don Cherry Cup. Teams will be limited to 2 non-Canadian players on their rosters.

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