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01-05-2013, 07:32 PM
Hayley from paramore
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1/6/13: Norfolk Admirals@Charlotte Checkers - PNC Arena

January 6th, 2013 | 1:30PM | Raleigh, NC | Brandon Dubinsky Entertainment & Sports Arena

Due to a lockout forced by greedy, entitled players dead-set on bankrupting NHL teams, tomorrow's contest between two American Hockey League teams will be the first played at the Brandon Dubinsky Entertainment and Sports Arena (formerly PNC Arena). Led by Zach Boychuk and several players vastly inferior to Zach Boychuk (including Zac Dalpe, who - let's be honest - doesn't even deserve to play in the same league as Zach Boychuk), the Charlotte Checkers enter the match as one of the AHL's top teams, though experts(<---WHO???) believe that they have already begun a skid that will see them miss the playoffs in the final week/day/second of the season, as is custom for the Hartford Whalers franchise.

They take on the Norfolk Admirals, who are a professional ice hockey team that plays in the American Hockey League. They became affiliated with the Anaheim Ducks after being dropped from the Tampa Bay Lightning following their 2012 AHL champion season. The Admirals play in Norfolk, Virginia at the Norfolk Scope.


Left WingCenter Right Wing
Zach Boychuk Riley "The Future" Nash Jerome Samson
Drayson Bowman Jeremy Welsh Zac Dalpe
Chris Terry Brett Sutter Tim Wallace
Jared Staal Sean Dolan Justin Shugg


Left Right
Michal Jordan Justin Faulk
Brett Bellemore Bobby Sanguinetti
Bobby Raymond Justin Krueger

Expected Starter Backup
Dan Ellis Justin Peters


PlayerReason Status
Marc-Andre Gragnani injured groin or something
Rasmus Rissanen injured something
Justin Soryal injured I don't know
Nicolas Blanchard injured no idea
Tommi Kivisto healthy scratch too awesome



Even better for Team USA than Ryan Murphy, Justin Faulk anchors the Checkers' defense, having contributed 25 points while averaging 97 minutes a game. While some may find it alarming that a 20-year old defenseman is significantly outscoring forwards several years older than him (except Zach Boychuk), it should be noted that the Checkers are 4-1 without him in the lineup, which proves conclusively they are better off without him. Faulk, being an entitled, greedy player set on bankrupting the NHL, does not play three games in three nights, instead sitting in the press box trying to console a despondent Jared Staal.


Justin Peters will be located at his usual position at the Brandon Dubinsky/PNC Arena: the bench. Peters, pictured above kicking out his 25th rebound of a first period against the LA Kings (with Joe Corvo in his usual location: several miles out of position), has been on a relative hot streak as of late and thus now appears on the first page of goalie stats at the AHL's official website. Fans have already taken to Twitter and Facebook upset that they won't get to see Peters' frantic, seizure-like style of goaltending, seemingly unaware that they will not be able to blame Paul Maurice for mishandling goalies when Peters loses.

W Peters 12
GAA Peters 2.44
SV% Ellis .919
G Boychuk 15
A Faulk 19
PTS Boychuk 31
+/- Dalpe +8
PIM Blanchard 75

Last edited by Hayley from paramore: 01-05-2013 at 07:51 PM.
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