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02-05-2013, 07:13 AM
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: "Great Lakes State"
Country: United States
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Originally Posted by JR97 View Post
I've also had SO's where it was an issue. It might not be the time as much as it is the passion/excitement. I don't mean sexually. I just mean in general. I had a SO that felt that she had to compete with hockey. I'd always get excited if the hockey came up in conversation and that bothered her because I don't excited about much of anything at all let alone anything she was passionate about.
I believe that this is the root of the problem in most cases.

When my wife and I started dating, I was is in the middle of an 11 games in 16 nights stretch. I wasn't very available between working, playing hockey, and resting. She was very understanding and I thought "I've got a keeper!"

I was right about that part, but eventually her patience started to wear thin. Once the season ended I was still on the ice at least once a week, I was spending time at the workbench cutting sticks and making other adjustments to my gear, I was out in the garage shooting pucks, etc. There was an expectation that once the season was over, I would devote all of that attention to her. When that did not happen it defintely caused some problems. I had explained when we first got together that hockey was very much a lifestyle for me, but I think that got lost in translation. It usually gets treated like my cute little hobby.

I'm still very happily married, but everyday I have to work at finding a balance. I wish there was a secret to this that I could share with everyone, but there isn't one. Make sacrifices; I watch stupid Bravo and E! shows during the week so that I can watch Hockey Night In Canada guilt free. I make sure she is aware of what days games are scheduled so that she can plan her girls outings while I'm at hockey; this is a win-win because I'm off the hook on those days and that also means we don't have anything planned during our time together. The main thing is reminding yourself what is really important in your life. When I come home to find a new piece of gear in the mail, I feel like an excited little kid that just wants to play with a new toy, but I set it down, act uninterested, and ask her how her day was. It's little things like that that will go a long way.

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