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02-12-2013, 11:16 PM
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Originally Posted by bsl View Post
Admirable. You are extremely systematic, and act to optimize your comfort in circumstances that provide a wider variation in comfort than most people realize.

Witness those in middle of the center row of seats during such flights. These are people who take no action to control their circumstances. I pity them. What happens in the rest of their lives, I am afraid to imagine.

I first request emergency exit seats, due to my 'bad back', long legs and possible psychotic loss of temper during long flights. This works well quite often.

If this fails, I go for window on the 747 last 3 rows, which only have 2 seats, with the request to leave the neighboring seat open as long as possible. They generally fill the back last.

I will though adapt to last minute circumstances and check all options. If I cajole the check in agent, they will tell me if there are empty middle rows. If this is the case, I will request an aisle seat on an empty middle row and sometimes end up with 4 seats. This is rare, but it can occur.

As for sitting at the back, you also have much less chance of being engulfed in agonizing flames from the 300 pounds of kerosene remaining in and jetting from the wings during impact and ignition, or being crushed by 200 people, seats and toilets/bulkheads behind you moving at 200 miles per hour when the plane smashes into the tarmac with no wheels and loses speed too fast for anyone/anything to resist the forces applied.

The tail also breaks off quite often in such circumstances, and if your belt is tight enough, and mine always is on landing, you can watch the rest of the exploding fiery craft hurtle away from you down the runway, while you sit in the broken off fire free tail end, already slowing safely to a halt, and conveniently near the back exit.

Then there is being liquified in the first ten rows as the plane nosedives. This is grim social justice for those in business and first, the 1% getting theirs, although of course I accept the risk of being liquified as a trade off for massive additional comfort when flying business. At least I will be liquified while drinking a good glass of Cabernet.

I also board very last of course, to minimize my on craft time, and also to give those unfortunates sitting over the fiery death wings time to stow their 5 bags of duty free shopping, goats, and live chickens in the overhead bins.

I was not aware of the optimal seat architecture on the 380, as I have only flown it once, Korea-HK. I will watch for this, thanks for the tip.
The only antidote for your fatalism is staying home.

Teufelsdreck is offline