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03-02-2013, 08:48 PM
The Nemesis
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Semper Tyrannus
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Langley, BC
Country: Canada
Posts: 58,435
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My snog:

after going scoreless through 3 periods and overtime with a minimum of shots and nothing dangerous, the game goes to the shootout.

23 rounds later with both teams yet to score, Niemi and Rinne look up to the scoreboard to see that hte scheduled 24th round shooters are Doug Murray and Scott Hannan.

Deciding that this is some sick joke, both goalies skate off the ice in unison, taking Chris Mason and Greiss with them, all headed to a nearby bar to get drunk and consider the poor career choices that led them to being goaltenders.

Meanwhile back at the game, with no goalies in net, the league decides the best way to end the game is to have each team pick one skater, even if they've shot before, to take a shot at the empty net. The Predators, inexplicably, keep Hannan on the ice to shoot. Halfway into the offensive zone he drops the puck and skates over o the net, dislodging it and holding it against the boards. For the Sharks, Joe Thornton goes out to shoot, but as he reaches the hash marks, he makes a drop pass and the puck slides out of the zone and right to the ref standing at center ice. That ref decides he's seen enough, picks up the puck, and skates off.

The game ends in a 0-0 tie. The first since 10 years ago when it happened to Philadelphia and (surprise, surprise) the Sharks*.

Commissioner Bettman apologizes for the fiasco and vows that from then on, all Predators/Sharks games will feature the starting goalies being shackled to the nets to prevent their escape. Should they pull free and make it to the bench, they will find that their pads are fitted with transmitters for those invisible electric fences designed for pets, shocking them as they attempt to cross the threshold off the ice.

That seems reasonable.

*I'm telling the dead serious truth about this fact.


"Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? The Shadow knows..."
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