OT: Tragedy at Dawson College ON TOPIC THREAD
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09-17-2006, 01:23 PM
Join Date: Jun 2002
Originally Posted by
If they had kicked him out, seeing what he wrote on his webpage, I doubt it would have stopped him from doing what he did. In fact, I could see you blaming them for triggering it.
Then you're clearly misunderstanding every part of my argument.
I do not blame Kimveer Gill's parents for what he did. I firmly believe in personal responsibility. Gill is responsible for his actions. His parents are not blameless, however.
Had his parents tossed him out, they would have done the right thing. Actually, in the basic scenario we're discussing (of a 25-year old with no drive to take part in society, and increasingly depressed), I would have likely sought some medical help for the 'child.' If that didn't work, then I would have shown the 'child' the door.
If one of those two options were not being used then the parents were supporting Gill's lifestyle--albeit, in all likelihood, doing so out of ignorance.
Originally Posted by
See all my "could have"s up above? That's my point. You don't know how he acted around them. You don't know what they were aware of, and if he demonstrated anything horribly out of the ordinary around the parents. I don't know if you have any experience with depression - I do, and I know how easy it is to mask most/all of it if you really want to. The fact his parents tried to help him shows that they knew more than a lot of parents would have.
The support to the claim is that you seem to have passed judgement on them already; feel free to do so if you like. I'm not so sure.
You're right that there are plenty of 'could haves'. Many of them are likely to be true. I feel these are convenient excuses to avoid confronting one's child to wake up and realize they're letting life pass them by.
I say 'convenient excuses' because they have some validity to why a parent would avoid pushing the child, and it is not a comfortable nor an easy thing to do: force a child to make a decision and live life, or get out of the house. It sounds heartless, but it isn't. By not doing this, his lifestyle of depression and isolation was being supported.
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