OT: Tragedy at Dawson College ON TOPIC THREAD
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09-17-2006, 02:04 PM
Join Date: Jun 2002
Originally Posted by
As a parent, I don't know what I would do. It's easy to say: "I would do this or that", but when you really get into the situation, it's really something else.
When asked what they would do if there was an agression on the street right before their eyes, most people say they would react one way or another. When the situation happens, a huge majority just walks by and do nothing.
My uncle has been living with his parents (forever), he's not employed, he's not an active part of society. Are his parents to blame for this? I don't know, and frankly it's not my place to judge that. Would I do the same? I don't know, probably not, but it's hard to judge until you're the one in the spotlight.
Kicking someone out often doesn't give out the results you wish it would. Would you rather have an inactive child safe at home or on the streets without any news?
These points are true, and valid. It is easy to sit here and say the parents made a mistake. With that in mind, I don't think we're incapable of pointing out glaring errors made.
Using a hockey metaphor: it's easy to say Ribeiro's not putting on weight and training hard enough. And that he's not putting enough effort on the ice in the defensive zone, and so on. But we're not Ribeiro, we're not in the NHL, and we're certainly not professional athletes, so who are we to judge him? There are many potential reasons for why he's not a well-rounded player, and we're not in any position to know any of them.
But we still reserve our right to judge him. And I don't think we're wrong to do so. Nor do I believe we're completely incapable of making good judgments, so long as we don't stray off track of reality and logic too much.
Regarding your uncle: I have no knowledge of the background of him or his family. If he's not enjoying life and doesn't particularly enjoy his parents and vice versa, then I would say it's an unhealthy situation. If he's not an active member of society and is unhappy with this, then I would say it's unhealthy. If he's content at doing absolutely nothing constructive in society, and his parents accept that and enjoy him regardless, then I think it's a little unfortunate but OK.
Regarding your question, about whether I'd rather have an inactive child safe at home, or abandoned on the streets without any news: that's a little difficult. It's difficult because the question isn't representative of a realistic situation. If the inactive child at home is unhappy, then it would be important to identify why they're unhappy. If they're unhappy because they're inactive, then I would look to encourage activity. If the child refused the encouragement, then I would not want to support the self-destructive behaviour. I would look to give the child some money, assuming they weren't openly self-destructive (with drugs, alcoholism, or the like), and send them packing. They could live on their own, find their own apartment, and that would force them into the world; just having to deal with getting their apartment would be a sense of accomplishment, perhaps, for this inactive, unhappy child.
I think it would be selfish to make the decision of keeping the inactive, unhappy child at home purely because you did not want to not know about the child's whereabouts or news after they left home.
Now if we're to take the other side of the coin of the inactive child and say they're happy and content with being inactive, then that's an entirely different beast to handle.
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