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05-17-2013, 03:32 AM
  #250
Reverend Mayhem
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Port Coquitlam, BC
Country: Canada
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You guys ready for some ****? In this post, Gillis has downed a 40 of Crown each day in succession from June 28th-July 5th. For some reason, a bunch of other teams' GMs also have. Get ready, time to put some big boy pants and go to Dreamworld.

June 28-29:
Holy ****. Compliance buy-out on David Booth.
Good-bye Keith Ballard, you have been traded for picks.
TRADE: Canucks trade Alex Edler + Cory Schneider to Buffalo for Tyler Myers, Tyler Ennis + (for some reason, I'm assuming Regier is drunk at the helm) Drew Stafford.
Recall: Eddie Lack now in net as back-up. Roberto Luongo is drunk and decides to stay in Vancouver and moves to Commercial.

June 30:
Things are getting interesting.
TRADE: Canucks trade Kevin Bieksa + Jordan Schroeder + their own 1st round pick to Phoenix for Martin Hanzal + Brandon Gormley. We can only assume Maloney was puking in a pool much like when a certain Breaking Bad character also had one too many tequilas. Thanks Heisenberg.

July 1:
Gillis is sobering up. Oh god what did I do? Actually, not too bad. Thanks, Laurence.

July 5:
Basically Boyd Gordon + Dan Cleary get drunk and decide to pull a Lebron/Bosh and take their talents to Wreck Beach and get more drunk and play for Vancouver*.

*not drunk

Ladies and gentlemen, your 2013-14 drunk pipe nightmare...Buffcouver Coyonucks!

FORWARDS
Daniel Sedin ($6.100m) / Henrik Sedin ($6.100m) / Alexandre Burrows ($4.500m)
Tyler Ennis ($2.813m) / Ryan Kesler ($5.000m) / Drew Stafford ($4.000m)
Danny Cleary ($1.700m) / Martin Hanzal ($3.100m) / Jannik Hansen ($1.350m)
Chris Higgins ($2.500m) / Boyd Gordon ($1.400m) / Zack Kassian ($0.870m)
DEFENSEMEN
Dan Hamhuis ($4.500m) / Tyler Myers ($5.500m)
Jason Garrison ($4.600m) / Chris Tanev ($1.750m)
Brandon Gormley ($1.315m) / Frank Corrado ($0.599m)
Andrew Alberts ($0.900m) /
GOALTENDERS
Roberto Luongo ($5.333m)
Eddie Lack ($0.750m)

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