How to control the frustration?
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08-26-2013, 02:56 PM
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: St Paul, MN
I would agree with picking up Hockey Tough, it's a good book and worth owning.
Is this your first year in the league or at this level?
IMO, controlling your frustrations is a skill that can be built. I think you're probably frustrated because you're expecting too much of yourself or focused on the wrong things.
One thing you will have to learn to recognize is what is and is not under your control. And really, it comes down to effort and attitude. You can't control your skill level, your natural talent, all the bounces on the ice, or anybody else.
So if you worked hard and tried to stay positive, that's all you can do. If you're not at the same level as everyone else, you can't control that. So work on recognizing that and just letting it go.
As far as interacting with others, that's about a million times more challenging in my mind. I've learned that I can get frustrated with myself to an extent, process it, and start to move on. Hell, there are times I need to beat myself up a bit mentally, and a lot of my long-time teammates know that.
The tricky part is when you are hard on yourself and others start coming down on you as well. That drives me nuts and can spiral out of control. That takes the most restraint to deal with. And there are certain guys I can't really play with or sit next to on the bench because it frequently ends up with them trying to lecture me after mistakes.
Another thing that might help is seeing yourself as a leader on the team or someone that others might look up to. That might help you stop from lashing out or doing something dumb.
Finally, probably the best thing is to get yourself into a good situation. Find the right level to play at if you can, and find a team full of upbeat people. It makes a world of difference. When everyone on my team knows we're not good at hockey and are here to have fun and try and win some games, but if we make mistakes it's not the end of the world and the camaraderie is more important than the score, it takes pressure off and makes it easier to let go.
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