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11-10-2013, 12:31 AM
Captain Catatomic
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: 204
Country: Canada
Posts: 1,318
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That's okay man, make sure you wear some eye protection when you get intimate watching the other teams, some of them are pretty dirty. If you try to come back the Oil might not take you if you become tainted and unclean watching the wrong players like that Kassian fellow.
Also it sounds like for the past 30 years you have been kinda cheap to the team. Nobody likes a fan who cheaps out on date night, and you haven't bought the team any flowers in ages. How long's it been since you said I love you Ryan Smyth? You need to go to church and see a pastor as you clearly have become jaded and torn from past relationship issues over the years.
You are just having a midlife crisis and are trying to blame it on the kids. We will take full custody of the team and I suppose you can have some visitation rights assuming you pay some kind of support and alimony.
Don't forget to drop off your taxes with at the Oilers office on your way out so we can determin your monthly child support payments. Someone's gotta pay for the kids diapers and kraft dinner, and nobody likes to see a starving Russian, Jultz is already starting to get malnourished.

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