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OT : Battle scaAARRRRR

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Old
05-06-2008, 11:17 AM
  #1
Licou
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OT : Battle scaAARRRRR

All right, the point of this message is :
1- I am sooo manly
2- Warning for the Kids
3- Our healtcare is THA ****Z
4- Open message to Don Cherry


Riight. So I play in this beer league you see. I am a defensman. And last Friday, I was playing hockey of all things, minding my own business on the ice you know. So I was defending my own zone at one point. The puck got to the left point. (I play on the right side and I am a lefty, but because all the other defensmen are lefty and a bunch of pusses, I have to play right side.. anyway)

The point man cranks a slap shot. A nice one at that actually : it was a low shot (on the ice actually) , and I will give him the benefit of the doubt, maybe he was hoping for a redirect. The shot did pack a lot of heat. So as he was winding up, I was making my way out of the sight of the goaltender, so he could stop the shot then pass it to me, then I could make a savvy break out rush and score a highlight reel goal.

But.. **** happens. The point man actually got his redirection he maybe wanted.... One of our forwards had his stick on the ice. But he was holding it with wimpy hands, so the blade was at an angle.

A perfect angle actually. So perfect, that the puck went directly at my Brad Pitt like face.... I had just enough time to brace for it and place my right cheek as a "pillow".. you know, so the puck didn't get hurt...

Well, now everyone and their dog says : "Well Licou, what's the problem, don't you have a face guard like you should do? You are in a beer league you know?"

Well, Licou is too macho and manly to have a face guard...

I took the puck like a man, I didn't fall, didn't yell, didn't cried. Well, seriously, I am not saying this to look though, it didn't really hurt. But it bled... bad. And even though I am a regular blood donor, I hate, and I really mean it, the sight of blood.

So I was bleeding my ass off like a menstruated woman with a vagina in her face... It was nasty I tell ya. Then my friend took me to the hospital.

Ok OK... I was at the Hospital at 12:30 am. I only got out at 5 in the morning. BUT!! It was worth the wait. I want to thank the doctor that stitched me up. A real pro. He was very kind, and since I had to close my eyes all the way through so he could work his magic, he explained what he was doing all the way through, even placing an odd joke here and there. I actually gave him a big hug once it was all over. By the way, I only had five stitches so it wasn't that bad.

So yeah, I have getting a visor. I already bought it.

So here is the message to Don Cherry (who I like a lot by the way) : Quebecois aren't all gutless visor wearing players ok. And you have to respect anyone who wears one you dope... I will be wearing one proudly, knowing that my eyes are protected from pucks. I was very lucky not to become a cyclop.

Anyway, I can post pics if anyones interested.

Remember kids : Even in a beer league, don't be an idiot like me, wear a visor or a face guard, it's not worth it to look cool...

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Old
05-06-2008, 06:59 PM
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If you really do look like Brad Pitt with a scar... then I'm sure LW and Ana wanna see it.

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05-06-2008, 07:03 PM
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That was one of the funniest things I've read in a while. Hope you heal up great!

Mitch

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05-06-2008, 07:06 PM
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That was a pretty fun read.

Too bad the scar will prevent you from landing any good film/tv roles in the near future! But if the doctor did a good job as you say, I'm sure the scripts will come pouring in once again soon.

Spending an entire night in the emergency ward sounds more painful to me than the actual injury.

Enjoy the visor, you sissy.

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05-06-2008, 07:09 PM
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I'd say you're my hero...but I'd be lying. You're close though, maybe #7 on my list.

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Old
05-07-2008, 12:22 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Turbo View Post
That was a pretty fun read.

Too bad the scar will prevent you from landing any good film/tv roles in the near future! But if the doctor did a good job as you say, I'm sure the scripts will come pouring in once again soon.

Spending an entire night in the emergency ward sounds more painful to me than the actual injury.

Enjoy the visor, you sissy.
Yeah it actually was. I couldn't get any sleep since I was stressed a lot.

And it was the "Pierre Boucher" hospital in Brossard, so there were a lot of weirdos there. At one point one guy came in the nurse's office escorted by two police officers wearing their full armour or whatever. And that punk got to go directly to the doctor... no waiting in line for him... I was quite shocked actually. You are a criminal heh? Well go ahead and see the Doctors without waiting, you're worth it....

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Old
05-07-2008, 12:36 PM
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Yeah it actually was. I couldn't get any sleep since I was stressed a lot.

And it was the "Pierre Boucher" hospital in Brossard, so there were a lot of weirdos there. At one point one guy came in the nurse's office escorted by two police officers wearing their full armour or whatever. And that punk got to go directly to the doctor... no waiting in line for him... I was quite shocked actually. You are a criminal heh? Well go ahead and see the Doctors without waiting, you're worth it....
Well. I suppose it was that or have him wait next to you in the chair for 4 hours... What would you prefer?

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05-07-2008, 12:38 PM
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Well. I suppose it was that or have him wait next to you in the chair for 4 hours... What would you prefer?
Hehe Yeah I figured it was for that reason but still.. they could have just locked him up in a broom closet until the doctors could treat him no?

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05-07-2008, 12:40 PM
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Hehe Yeah I figured it was for that reason but still.. they could have just locked him up in a broom closet until the doctors could treat him no?
That's funny.

"Hey man.. laissez mo sortir calisse. J'veux pisser.."

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05-07-2008, 12:55 PM
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I know exactly how you feel. My fingers have like 3 cardboard cuts from the Dungeons & Dragons cards. I'm totally in the zone, some dude played level 10 Demon Stare on me and I was all smiles, reach into my hand of cards and whip out Magus Mirror and the X100 multiplier card. Guy dies in an instant but my finger bled for two minutes because I was a little too excited when pulling out my cards. It's OK now, but I feel your pain man.

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05-07-2008, 01:12 PM
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Originally Posted by Judge Sauer View Post
I know exactly how you feel. My fingers have like 3 cardboard cuts from the Dungeons & Dragons cards. I'm totally in the zone, some dude played level 10 Demon Stare on me and I was all smiles, reach into my hand of cards and whip out Magus Mirror and the X100 multiplier card. Guy dies in an instant but my finger bled for two minutes because I was a little too excited when pulling out my cards. It's OK now, but I feel your pain man.


Thanks for coming out !

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05-07-2008, 01:17 PM
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Originally Posted by Judge Sauer View Post
I know exactly how you feel. My fingers have like 3 cardboard cuts from the Dungeons & Dragons cards. I'm totally in the zone, some dude played level 10 Demon Stare on me and I was all smiles, reach into my hand of cards and whip out Magus Mirror and the X100 multiplier card. Guy dies in an instant but my finger bled for two minutes because I was a little too excited when pulling out my cards. It's OK now, but I feel your pain man.
I don't know if you're serious or not, but as a certified geek while growing up (and one now too, I admit), that made me laugh.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Licou View Post
Yeah it actually was. I couldn't get any sleep since I was stressed a lot.

And it was the "Pierre Boucher" hospital in Brossard, so there were a lot of weirdos there. At one point one guy came in the nurse's office escorted by two police officers wearing their full armour or whatever. And that punk got to go directly to the doctor... no waiting in line for him... I was quite shocked actually. You are a criminal heh? Well go ahead and see the Doctors without waiting, you're worth it....
Well, there's probably a lesson in there somewhere.

Like, next time get a police escort before heading to the emergency. I imagine setting one of their cars on fire should work, and as a Habs fans, we are all experts in that. Heck, maybe bleeding all over them might work too.


Last edited by Beakermania*: 05-07-2008 at 01:23 PM.
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05-07-2008, 01:23 PM
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I don't know if you're serious or not, but as a certified geek while growing up (and one now too, I admit), that made me laugh.
I have no idea if D&D uses cards, i just thought it would sound better than Pokemon. I did do some of the story oriented ones when I was a teenager though, I quit because the lead story guy kept making insane rule changes that made the game never stop. I said it was stupid and quit.

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05-07-2008, 01:29 PM
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I have no idea if D&D uses cards, i just thought it would sound better than Pokemon. I did do some of the story oriented ones when I was a teenager though, I quit because the lead story guy kept making insane rule changes that made the game never stop. I said it was stupid and quit.
Yeah, I don't remember it using cards but that was still humorous. I recall really thick books and a pile of dice in all kinds of shapes, plus a serious 4 gallon backpack to carry it all. Paper cuts are likely a serious hazard. That, and developing a fondness for worshiping the devil.

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05-07-2008, 01:48 PM
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...bleeding my ass off like a menstruated woman with a vagina in her face....
Talk about mixed metaphors.

Funny read, by the way, but it would have been much funnier had you been hit in the testicles.

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05-08-2008, 04:24 AM
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Youtube it or it didn't happen

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05-08-2008, 05:15 AM
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Originally Posted by Licou View Post
All right, the point of this message is :
1- I am sooo manly
2- Warning for the Kids
3- Our healtcare is THA ****Z
4- Open message to Don Cherry


Riight. So I play in this beer league you see. I am a defensman. And last Friday, I was playing hockey of all things, minding my own business on the ice you know. So I was defending my own zone at one point. The puck got to the left point. (I play on the right side and I am a lefty, but because all the other defensmen are lefty and a bunch of pusses, I have to play right side.. anyway)

The point man cranks a slap shot. A nice one at that actually : it was a low shot (on the ice actually) , and I will give him the benefit of the doubt, maybe he was hoping for a redirect. The shot did pack a lot of heat. So as he was winding up, I was making my way out of the sight of the goaltender, so he could stop the shot then pass it to me, then I could make a savvy break out rush and score a highlight reel goal.

But.. **** happens. The point man actually got his redirection he maybe wanted.... One of our forwards had his stick on the ice. But he was holding it with wimpy hands, so the blade was at an angle.

A perfect angle actually. So perfect, that the puck went directly at my Brad Pitt like face.... I had just enough time to brace for it and place my right cheek as a "pillow".. you know, so the puck didn't get hurt...

Well, now everyone and their dog says : "Well Licou, what's the problem, don't you have a face guard like you should do? You are in a beer league you know?"

Well, Licou is too macho and manly to have a face guard...

I took the puck like a man, I didn't fall, didn't yell, didn't cried. Well, seriously, I am not saying this to look though, it didn't really hurt. But it bled... bad. And even though I am a regular blood donor, I hate, and I really mean it, the sight of blood.

So I was bleeding my ass off like a menstruated woman with a vagina in her face... It was nasty I tell ya. Then my friend took me to the hospital.

Ok OK... I was at the Hospital at 12:30 am. I only got out at 5 in the morning. BUT!! It was worth the wait. I want to thank the doctor that stitched me up. A real pro. He was very kind, and since I had to close my eyes all the way through so he could work his magic, he explained what he was doing all the way through, even placing an odd joke here and there. I actually gave him a big hug once it was all over. By the way, I only had five stitches so it wasn't that bad.

So yeah, I have getting a visor. I already bought it.

So here is the message to Don Cherry (who I like a lot by the way) : Quebecois aren't all gutless visor wearing players ok. And you have to respect anyone who wears one you dope... I will be wearing one proudly, knowing that my eyes are protected from pucks. I was very lucky not to become a cyclop.

Anyway, I can post pics if anyones interested.

Remember kids : Even in a beer league, don't be an idiot like me, wear a visor or a face guard, it's not worth it to look cool...
beautiful

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Old
05-08-2008, 07:26 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Licou
...bleeding my ass off like a menstruated woman with a vagina in her face....
Sounds like something Jean Perron would say... you've been watching 110% too much.

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