How many Torontonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just 1. He holds the bulb and lets the world revolve around him.
To show I'm not a homer;
How many Habs fans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
about 20. One to change the bulb and the rest to reminise about the old one.
One to show that I AM a homer;
Call to God
An American decided to write a book about famous churches around the world. For his first chapter he decided to write about Canadian churches. So he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to Vancouver, thinking that he would work his way across the country from west to east.
On his first day he was inside a church taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read “$10,000 per call”. The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for.
The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 you could talk to God. The American thanked the priest and went along his way.
Next stop was in Edmonton. There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it. He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in Vancouver and he asked a nearby sister what it's purpose was.
She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 he could talk to God. "O.K., thank you" said the American.
He then traveled to Calgary, Regina, Winnipeg, Toronto, Ottawa, Montreal, and Halifax and in every church he saw the same golden telephone with the same “$10,000 per call" sign under it.
Finally the American arrived in St. John's, again the same golden telephone but this time the sign under it read "$0.10 per call." The American was intrigued so he asked the priest, "Father, I've traveled all over Canada and I've seen this same golden telephone in many churches. I'm told that it is a direct line to heaven; but, in all the other provinces the price per call was $10,000. Why is it so cheap here?"
The priest smiled and answered, "You're in Newfoundland now son, it's a local call."