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The Many Personalities of Hockey

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Old
06-26-2008, 04:56 PM
  #1
HermeyTheElf
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The Many Personalities of Hockey

Do you guys ever notice that there are specific types of people who play hockey that you seem to bump into all the time? Be it in a beer league or something a bit more competitive.

Thought it would be fun to hear the prototypical types of people meet on their team or play against... For example

There's the guy who wears the reflective visor, tries to deke through all 9 other guys on the ice, and fails...

There's the guy who wears your hometown jersey, but brings shame to it with his lack of skills...

There's the guy who never ties his skates tight enough, or doesn't seem to have the ankle muscles necessary to skate without making a triangle shape with his skates...

There's the guy who can't skate well at all, but somehow has a slapshot that puts yours to shame...

Any takers?

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Old
06-26-2008, 05:21 PM
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Balmer15
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There's that guy that never turns up to any practices but thinks he's the best out there. Can't even hit the net.

There's that tiny guy that slides through everyone and shames the goalie.

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Old
06-26-2008, 05:33 PM
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Heat McManus
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There's that guy in One95 skates, Vapor XXXX gloves, 9500 helmet, 9k pants, authentic Malkin EDGE jersey.

Can't skate.

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06-26-2008, 05:47 PM
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Backstrom #19
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There's the defenceman who thinks he's Bobby Orr going end-to-end, but he really turns the puck over every play and has the worst +/- ever.

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06-26-2008, 05:49 PM
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Karl with a C
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There's the guy who comments on everything from the bench.

"Great shot, Tony!!"

"Get back in position Steve!!!"

"That was a moderately above average wrist shot, David!!!!1!"

Annoying.

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Old
06-26-2008, 05:56 PM
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Heat McManus
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SniperArchetype View Post
There's the guy who comments on everything from the bench.

"Great shot, Tony!!"

"Get back in position Steve!!!"

"That was a moderately above average wrist shot, David!!!!1!"

Annoying.
lol

and then there's the antithesis of that:

"dude, on that breakaway you had, i was WIDE OPEN at the blue-line! you should have passed back...good goal."

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Old
06-26-2008, 07:19 PM
  #7
lextune
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99% of all beer leagues:

33% of the guys never pass the puck.
33% of the guys can barely skate
33% of the guys are great dude's just looking for some fun Hockey

The remaining percentage (thankfully small) is made up of jackasses that act like it is the Stanley Cup finals.


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Old
06-26-2008, 07:28 PM
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GOONSQUAD
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HermeyTheElf View Post
Do you guys ever notice that there are specific types of people who play hockey that you seem to bump into all the time? Be it in a beer league or something a bit more competitive.

Thought it would be fun to hear the prototypical types of people meet on their team or play against... For example

There's the guy who wears the reflective visor, tries to deke through all 9 other guys on the ice, and fails...

There's the guy who wears your hometown jersey, but brings shame to it with his lack of skills...

There's the guy who never ties his skates tight enough, or doesn't seem to have the ankle muscles necessary to skate without making a triangle shape with his skates...

There's the guy who can't skate well at all, but somehow has a slapshot that puts yours to shame...

Any takers?
Triangle with his skates? Can you elaborate on that?

Never mind.. I figured it out..

You can chalk me up as the guy that gets it after 10 tries


Last edited by GOONSQUAD: 06-26-2008 at 07:31 PM. Reason: Lightbulb
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Old
06-26-2008, 08:03 PM
  #9
Opus
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There's that guy that comes in the change room, you don't know him at all...can't help but notice as you're all shooting the breeze getting dressed and see the shape the dude is in. You know, built like a brick ****house. You're hoping he's on your team, this guy look like an athlete!

You get out on the ice and the guy can't take a pass to save his life.

Yeah, seems like there's one those on every ice pad.

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Old
06-26-2008, 08:03 PM
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SeanL44
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SniperArchetype View Post
There's the guy who comments on everything from the bench.

"Great shot, Tony!!"

"Get back in position Steve!!!"

"That was a moderately above average wrist shot, David!!!!1!"

Annoying.

Hahaha... that's totally me... nothing negative, just trying to put a little bit of spirit in their stride

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06-26-2008, 08:07 PM
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There's the guy who thinks he passes but can't.

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06-26-2008, 09:06 PM
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The guy with the old, dirty and shabby looking gear... don't laugh... he's pretty damn good!

The guy who thinks it is ok for him to hit people but then *****es when people hit him.

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Old
06-27-2008, 01:17 AM
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Danglous
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The guy who yells at EVERYONE for EVERYTHING, even when its his own fault.

Example: A guy on my team at a pick up game is a regular there. He is known for *****ing about everything to everyone no matter what happens, and then celebrates when he scores (on his 15 year old son nontheless) like he just scored the game winner in game 7 of the stanley cup finals. Anyway, he collided with me as I was skating hard up the boards looking back for an outlet pass as he is coasting his way to the bench. He goes down, and I lose all my momentum. I give him a look and he goes, "KEEP YOUR HEAD UP!" I couldnt help but laugh as I skated away.

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Old
06-27-2008, 01:29 AM
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vivianmb
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vakar Lajos View Post
There's that guy in One95 skates, Vapor XXXX gloves, 9500 helmet, 9k pants, authentic Malkin EDGE jersey.

Can't skate.
500 dollar skates... 25 cent stride

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06-27-2008, 01:35 AM
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vivianmb
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how about the guy who wears the full cage and can't keep his stick down and tells you to wear a cage if you don't like it.
he usaully turns into "the guy who gets his ass kicked a lot"

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06-27-2008, 03:43 AM
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the_speedster
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vakar Lajos View Post
There's that guy in One95 skates, Vapor XXXX gloves, 9500 helmet, 9k pants, authentic Malkin EDGE jersey.

Can't skate.
While in recovery from thyroid cancer I played down in a "C" league with a few buddies and nearly s#%^t my pants when this wanna be frat boy got on the ice in pretty much what you described.. he had the crosby 9k skates and pants, 7k stick, new rbk edge CROSBY jersey and ovechkin visor...

couldn't skate backwards
could barely stop.
had a golf swing for a slap shot

Definately brightened my day to watch him that's for sure


best part of the game was when he'd bend over, like 10times, to "pump up" his skates. The ref almost collapsed in laughter

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06-27-2008, 08:18 AM
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CuriousGeorge
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I think I have one of all of the people mentioned above on my team.

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06-27-2008, 09:38 AM
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Opus
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How 'bout the guy that takes 5 minutes shifts, usually a forward...and the last 3 minutes of his shift the furthest he comes back to the defensive zone is the red line. Not because he's a cherry picker, but because he's lazy.

Sits in the neutral zone slamming his stick on the ice..."pass, pass...I'm open"



Yeah Terry, I'm talking about you!!!

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06-27-2008, 12:18 PM
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How about the guy that doesn't say much and has below average to average talent. Cause that is me.

Or how about the guy who is actually good, but never passes until he has 3 guys on top of him and then he tries to pass but fails.

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06-27-2008, 12:42 PM
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2 Late 2 Anton
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There's lots of guys who complain about everyone else who aren't much better, if not worse than the people they're complaining about.

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06-27-2008, 01:26 PM
  #21
lextune
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OilerNut View Post
how about the guy who is actually good, but never passes until he has 3 guys on top of him and then he tries to pass but fails.
I know that guy. lol

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Old
06-27-2008, 06:11 PM
  #22
Danglous
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OilerNut View Post
Or how about the guy who is actually good, but never passes until he has 3 guys on top of him and then he tries to pass but fails.
I think you just described 3/4 of my teammates right there

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Old
06-27-2008, 10:05 PM
  #23
SSM12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OilerNut View Post
How about the guy that doesn't say much and has below average to average talent. Cause that is me.

Or how about the guy who is actually good, but never passes until he has 3 guys on top of him and then he tries to pass but fails.
guilty

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Old
06-28-2008, 01:10 AM
  #24
the_speedster
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OilerNut View Post
How about the guy that doesn't say much and has below average to average talent. Cause that is me.

Or how about the guy who is actually good, but never passes until he has 3 guys on top of him and then he tries to pass but fails.
hee hee! now I can nail that pass only about 4 out of ten times but gad-dammit when I do its SPECTACULAR!

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