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OT- I like to fight too much, any tips to control my anger?

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08-03-2008, 12:26 AM
  #1
Africa.
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OT- I like to fight too much, any tips to control my anger?

Any tips to help me control my anger, if anyone's has been or is the same way? I don't know what it is...i'm a nice guy to most people, but when someone gives me an attitude, or an attitude to friends or girlfriends, or just a guy who thinks he's the **** in general, I'm quick to start arguing and shoving and fighting or giving attitude.

Take for example....today. I'm at the movies, and I get a text, it was on vibrate so no one could hear, I take it my phone quietly and text back, with my phone next to my knee. This 20 something lady, tells me to turn off my phone in a rude manner, after the movie I look at her and tell her the movie was on the screen and not near my knee. Afterwards, her 300 pound boyfriend wanting to show off, for some reason, feels it's okay to bump into me, probably thinking I was a dumb teen who woudn't do anything about it, so I get angry and kinda shove him, asking him what's his problem, obviously, since he doesn't wanna go to jail for hitting a kid, just walks away calling me a dirtbag. I know you're not suppose to let people walk over you, but my problem is I get angry too quickly.

I'm quick to throw my fists, I've been in quite a few fights in my life, and when I think about it, it's mostly been me who started them, and I've enjoyed it. I've never fought a friend, or someone I knew, it's usually been someone who gave me or friends attitude. I kinda want to start controlling myself better though in those kind of situations, any tips?


Last edited by Beakermania*: 08-03-2008 at 06:49 AM.
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08-03-2008, 12:29 AM
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08-03-2008, 12:30 AM
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Erika
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Stop playing thoses violent Video Games



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08-03-2008, 12:32 AM
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Madevilz
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Take any kind of martial arts classes such as boxing or muay thai. I guarantee you that unleashing those punch and kicks on bags and mits will calm you down after a session of intense training.

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08-03-2008, 12:34 AM
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loudi94
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Walk away. 1 or 2 things will end up happening to you. You'll either get beat to a pulp or you'll do it to someone else. Either way, you'll end up hooped.
Ask yourself in each situation "Is this my hill to die on" (figuratively of course) If you can understand the idea that not every fight is yours, you'll do better. Also, learn how to take a comment without having to escalate. She was rude, you ignore her.
Fighting can give you quite a rush. I know it. When uncontrolled it can be destructive though. Join a training facility to work it out that adrenaline.

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08-03-2008, 12:36 AM
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FLYLine24
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Seek professional help?

You said you've gotten into fights and enjoyed it. Something aint right. Keep it up and you'll be in jail, i assure you that you wont be enjoying that.

You say you beat on guys who think their the ****.....you sound like just like one of those though, anyone who gives you and attitude deserves to get his ass kicked?

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08-03-2008, 12:40 AM
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tinyzombies
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Anger management. Do it. Don't make decisions when you are out of control. It's not you. Just go get some help. Don't think it's silly. Enjoy your life! If it's booze, get on a moderation program if you don't want to quit. Obviously you are on the right track to ask. It's a goal of yours. So get it done.

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08-03-2008, 12:40 AM
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Africa.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by loudi94 View Post
Walk away. 1 or 2 things will end up happening to you. You'll either get beat to a pulp or you'll do it to someone else. Either way, you'll end up hooped.
Ask yourself in each situation "Is this my hill to die on" (figuratively of course) If you can understand the idea that not every fight is yours, you'll do better. Also, learn how to take a comment without having to escalate. She was rude, you ignore her.
Fighting can give you quite a rush. I know it. When uncontrolled it can be destructive though. Join a training facility to work it out that adrenaline.
The problem is...it's hard for me to walk away, I'm already angry, or when I start being rude to the person, they start getting angry, which gets me angry. As with the girl...it wasn't so much her being rude that bothered, but the fact that her big boyfriend thought it was fine to push me when he walking away, but by his facial expression, I could tell he was surprised I pushed him away and asked him what the ***** his problem was. I don't know, I might just be a hot-head, but sometimes I think I might may have real anger issues.

Quote:
Originally Posted by FLYLine88 View Post
Seek professional help?

You said you've gotten into fights and enjoyed it. Something aint right. Keep it up and you'll be in jail, i assure you that you wont be enjoying that.

You say you beat on guys who think their the ****.....you sound like just like one of those though, anyone who gives you and attitude deserves to get his ass kicked?
Wow, chill. I'm sure there's lots of people out there that enjoy the rush of a fight that aren't in jail. I'm not a hoodlum or a criminal, I don't beat someone's head in with a pipe if that's what you think. As for me thinking I'm the ****, I don't think I am, but I hate it when someone walks up acting like they are, hence why I start being rude, and sometimes, a fight escalates.


Last edited by Beakermania*: 08-03-2008 at 06:53 AM.
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08-03-2008, 01:02 AM
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Sthabs
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Madevilz said it right, you need to take all than anger and put it on something else, like trainings, martial arts sports, or just sports in general, just a jogging everyday will calm you down. You have like too much energy and you re transforming it into anger. Spend that energy on somethine lse and the anger will go away.
just my .02 anyway

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08-03-2008, 01:04 AM
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SOLR
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Seriously, martial arts is probably the best way for you. Karate (its more spiritual) is what I would recommend. Karate will teach you to master your anger and use it in a positive way.

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08-03-2008, 01:05 AM
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Kamina
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Buy a punching bag. When scenarios like this arise, keep the anger in and beat the crap out of it later.

Either that, or any sort of sport or martial art is a good way of venting.

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08-03-2008, 01:05 AM
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Form and Substance
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Can't say I haven't been in my fair share of fisticuffs, these things usually come about on their own without my having to instigate them. Then again, passive aggressive barbs can really drive people mad. oh so very mad.

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08-03-2008, 01:15 AM
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Like Flyline said....seek professional help. That's not normal behaviour.

And dude a light from a cell phone during a movie is ****ing annoying. I would guess you feel victimized and insulted by comments that would appear normal to me.

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08-03-2008, 01:15 AM
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To be fair, a cell phone in a movie theater stands out like Bruce Lee in a sea of Steven Segals. Whenever someone takes it out in the movies, that small bright light always distracts me and ruins the flow of the movie.

Just sounds like you need to get yourself some perspective....or a hummer.


Last edited by bib: 08-03-2008 at 01:20 AM.
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08-03-2008, 01:18 AM
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I would have punched you for opening your cell phone. How can a message be THIS important that you can't wait one hour before looking at it.

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08-03-2008, 01:19 AM
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I used to get into fights as a teen.. then I got kicked in the face by a 350 pounds bouncer..................

try it, Ghandi will lead your life after that.

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08-03-2008, 01:20 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zalery View Post
To be fair, a cell phone in a movie theater stands out like Bruce Lee in a sea of Steven Segals. Whenever someone takes it out in the movies, that small bright light always distracts me and ruins the flow of the movie.
I know people that use cell phones in a movie theater ridiculously well. I didn't notice that one of my friends was on the phone while watching The Dark Knight until above 2 minutes after he started. He was really quiet yet the other guy heard what he was saying. It's too bad there aren't more of those people if they really can't resist using a phone.

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08-03-2008, 01:26 AM
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I never got violence. It's a primitive expression of self doubt and insecurity. I'm with FLY on this one. There are tons of people lacking manners and respect but you gotta ask yourself why do you feel the urge to be the one to teach them a lesson? Why do you feel the need to command respect and resort to fighting to get it? Do you feel more of a man, that you kicked someone's ass? Does it validate your SELF-perceived position as a dominant male of this society?

I've been in my share of fights, only in self defense never instigated, most probably from guys like you. I've felt like a mindless monkey every time. It sucks that people resort to this. That no one can just settle an argument like mature adults and resolve the situation preferably by simply walking away.

You say you enjoy it and you instigate a lot. You're insecure buddy and all it means is that you don't have much else going for you. You pretty much feel like you have nothing to loose so you black out on the moment and succumb to your anger. Life has a hell of a lot more frustrating things than someone "disrespecting" you, your majesty. Once you have things going for you and bigger problems to worry about, someone gettting on your nerves would be the least of your worries.

Time to grow up. Seriously.


Last edited by m00ks: 08-03-2008 at 01:42 AM.
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08-03-2008, 01:38 AM
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I never got violence. It's a primitive expression of self doubt and insecurity.
You mean a gun? Not primitive, but it was made out of self doubt and insecurity.

If someone does something to piss you off, like tell you to put your phone away, or whatnot, just apologize and put it away. If you're outside talking to a friend and some wisenheimer decides to say an idiotic remark about you on your cell, knock him out. Nah, just ignore that ignoramus as well. If people are persistently pissing you off on purpose, or you're threatened, then you might be in the right to fight.

No need to get mad, or make snarky comments at people, just ignore them, beat up your little brother, or own people in video games.

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08-03-2008, 01:39 AM
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Yeah I gotta agree with Mooks, people that resort to fighting can't stand feeling like someone got the better of them so they have to gain satisfaction by doing something that makes them feel superior. Once you become an adult you're supposed to have grown out of that. There's also the factor of assault and battery charges which are no joke, and can actually screw with your ability to gain employment. If you lose complete control and can't stop yourself it's a mental problem and you're going to have to seek professional help of some kind. If you do have the ability to stop yourself, then you really need to sit down and think about why you don't want to. Once you have the answer to that question you'll know how to fix your problem.

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08-03-2008, 01:42 AM
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Form and Substance
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I agree. Fighting is silly, but it can also be hilarious.

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08-03-2008, 01:47 AM
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Africa.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Analyzer View Post
You mean a gun? Not primitive, but it was made out of self doubt and insecurity.

If someone does something to piss you off, like tell you to put your phone away, or whatnot, just apologize and put it away. If you're outside talking to a friend and some wisenheimer decides to say an idiotic remark about you on your cell, knock him out. Nah, just ignore that ignoramus as well. If people are persistently pissing you off on purpose, or you're threatened, then you might be in the right to fight.

No need to get mad, or make snarky comments at people, just ignore them, beat up your little brother, or own people in video games.
I woudn't have gotten mad if she hadn't been so rude about it. She leaned over and said '' shut off your ******* phone '' not even a please, or in a nicer choice of words. As for mooks...why are you passing judgement? I am not insecure, nor is there nothing going on in my life, I'm happy, and live well with the people who respect me. Once again, it's not like I go around hitting people who haven't done anything to me, yes I enjoy the rush of a fight, but I'm sure I'm not the only one out there.

No offense, but I just get the vibe that because you've been in fights with *******s, you feel the need to stereotype everybody. I'm not like that. I'm naturally nice to people, until they give me a reason not too, and when they do, that's when I start getting rude, and then, sometimes, a fight happens.

I've appreciated the suggestions of some people on here, but some people are being straight ********** about it. I would never be able to hit someone in the head with a pipe, or something of the sort, because that's just not me, but I do get into fist-fights, and some people are replying like I'm a thug.


Last edited by Beakermania*: 08-03-2008 at 06:53 AM.
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08-03-2008, 01:49 AM
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m00ks is about to get shoved

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08-03-2008, 01:57 AM
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You sound like me when I was a teenager. You'll calm down. I'm 25 now, and I've still got the temper but the restraint is there now where it never was before.

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08-03-2008, 01:58 AM
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If you're not willing to listen to advice and refute everything people have to say, I'd say asking for advice on forums isn't for you. Like someone said, try a 350 lb bouncer... if he'd actually take you seriously. I'd say try visualizing some scenarios where you've gotten pissed off, and re-enact in your mind how you should have taken care of the situation. Works to calm my nerves sometimes... both nervousness and anger.

Edit: Might be just the way we're brought up, but the point about you refuting what people have to say -

I only said that because in my mind, anybody that goes into fist fights, unless it's self defense are *******s. Especially when they get a satisfaction out of it. If giving people physical suffering makes you happy, well... but that's just my personal belief and I'm sure it's the same for some people out there. Gotta understand where some people are coming from. But I get you if you don't feel that you're being an ***. Maybe just a bit too self-righteous?

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