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OT- I like to fight too much, any tips to control my anger?

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Old
08-03-2008, 11:04 PM
  #101
Slick Nick
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In Gatineau we have Dominic Filiou (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dominic_Filiou) - one of the biggest strongmen in the world - bouncing one of our bars. So far I haven't seen anyone cross him.
I'd never challange a bouncer. There was a fight involving friends so I had to get in the rumble, at least I felt that way back then. The bouncers charged on everybody so everyone started to run, but my boots were loose and I lost one in the process.. so I stopped running to put it back and all I remember feeling numb, spitting a tooth chip and than warm blood running down my nose, then a lot of stmoch and ribs pain because obviously he was not done... great memories.

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08-04-2008, 12:28 AM
  #102
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So OP, you say that you feel a sudden rush when you inflict pain on others? I'm somewhat the same, but also somewhat opposite. Whenever I get a good beating from someone, I feel a great rush that is indescribable.

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08-04-2008, 12:40 AM
  #103
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So OP, you say that you feel a sudden rush when you inflict pain on others? I'm somewhat the same, but also somewhat opposite. Whenever I get a good beating from someone, I feel a great rush that is indescribable.
Thats wayyyyyyyyyy to kinky

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08-04-2008, 12:44 AM
  #104
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Any tips to help me control my anger, if anyone's has been or is the same way? I don't know what it is...i'm a nice guy to most people, but when someone gives me an attitude, or an attitude to friends or girlfriends, or just a guy who thinks he's the **** in general, I'm quick to start arguing and shoving and fighting or giving attitude.

Take for example....today. I'm at the movies, and I get a text, it was on vibrate so no one could hear, I take it my phone quietly and text back, with my phone next to my knee. This 20 something lady, tells me to turn off my phone in a rude manner, after the movie I look at her and tell her the movie was on the screen and not near my knee. Afterwards, her 300 pound boyfriend wanting to show off, for some reason, feels it's okay to bump into me, probably thinking I was a dumb teen who woudn't do anything about it, so I get angry and kinda shove him, asking him what's his problem, obviously, since he doesn't wanna go to jail for hitting a kid, just walks away calling me a dirtbag. I know you're not suppose to let people walk over you, but my problem is I get angry too quickly.

I'm quick to throw my fists, I've been in quite a few fights in my life, and when I think about it, it's mostly been me who started them, and I've enjoyed it. I've never fought a friend, or someone I knew, it's usually been someone who gave me or friends attitude. I kinda want to start controlling myself better though in those kind of situations, any tips?
You have a hair-trigger temper about people giving you "attitude" and at the same time, you're the jerk in the theatre with his cell phone out texting someone during the movie?

First piece of advice: Look in the mirror.

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08-04-2008, 12:45 AM
  #105
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It's incredibly annoying to the next 2 people on either side of you. What you think of as 'a little light' is a huge distraction in other people's peripheral vision. That's not to mention all the annoying beeps and sounds cell phones tend to make when you open them/send a text.

So yeah, that woman had every right to be annoyed with you, Africa. I remember wanting to headbutt the little twit beside me that was fiddling with his cell during the Last Samurai. Maybe, just maybe, people do have a legitimate reason for the things they say to you.
She wasn't even besides me, she was behind me, and not even directly behind me, she was behind the guy to my right. Once again, it's no problem if someone asks me nicely, but if you're gonna be rude about it, don't except me to smile and say sorry.

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Originally Posted by Dangler87 View Post
So OP, you say that you feel a sudden rush when you inflict pain on others? I'm somewhat the same, but also somewhat opposite. Whenever I get a good beating from someone, I feel a great rush that is indescribable.
I don't get that rush from hurting someone, but more from that instinct of I guess in a way you could say, survival.

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Originally Posted by FerrisRox View Post
You have a hair-trigger temper about people giving you "attitude" and at the same time, you're the jerk in the theatre with his cell phone out texting someone during the movie?

First piece of advice: Look in the mirror.
Is that enough of a reason to be rude to someone? Is that enough for a 300 pound thirty year old man to try and shove a 16 year-old? I'm sorry, there's no need to be rude because someone took literally about 10 sec. to answer a text.


Last edited by Beakermania*: 08-04-2008 at 02:58 PM.
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08-04-2008, 12:48 AM
  #106
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As for me thinking I'm the ****, I don't think I am, but I hate it when someone walks up acting like they are, hence why I start being rude, and sometimes, a fight escalates.
Again: Look at yourself.

You "hate" people that act like their the ****, yet at the same time you think it's okay for you - based on your personal opinion of that person - to 'start being rude" to them; which sometimes escalates into a fight.

The behaviour you are describing is that of a jerk, and some who thinks it's up to them to "police" the world and give those guys who think their the **** their comeuppance.

Somehow, you're failing to see that by you acting that way, you yourself are exactly what you claim you hate.

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Especially after I got woken up a week ago getting a text saying a classmate from school died in a car crash, you just never know.
16 year olds lead incredibly important lives with rapid developments they simply must keep abreast of.

There's *no way* that a 16 year old can let an hour pass in a movie theatre without keeping totally up to date with all of the developments of the world.


Last edited by Beakermania*: 08-04-2008 at 02:59 PM.
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08-04-2008, 12:54 AM
  #107
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Again: Look at yourself.

You "hate" people that act like their the ****, yet at the same time you think it's okay for you - based on your personal opinion of that person - to 'start being rude" to them; which sometimes escalates into a fight.

The behaviour you are describing is that of a jerk, and some who thinks it's up to them to "police" the world and give those guys who think their the ***** their comeuppance.

Somehow, you're failing to see that by you acting that way, you yourself are exactly what you claim you hate.
I disagree. I'm a jerk for being rude to someone who's a jerk to me? If not being a push-over is being a jerk, then fine, I'm a jerk, but we seem to have definitions of that word. I don't act like the people I don't get along with. When I meet someone I've never met, I don't act like a ****, but I hate when people do it, and what I'm trying to explain is..when someone's a ****, I start being a **** to them, and sometimes that quickly escalates into a fight, and I'm trying to stop that by happening, but not to the point where I'm just gonna be taking ****.


Last edited by Beakermania*: 08-04-2008 at 03:02 PM.
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08-04-2008, 01:02 AM
  #108
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I disagree. I'm a jerk for being rude to someone who's a jerk to me? If not being a push-over is being a jerk, then fine, I'm a jerk, but we seem to have definitions of that word. I don't act like the people I don't get along with. When I meet someone I've never met, I don't act like a ****, but I hate when people do it, and what I'm trying to explain is..when someone's a ****, I start being a **** to them, and sometimes that quickly escalates into a fight, and I'm trying to stop that by happening, but not to the point where I'm just gonna be taking ****.
You don't get it: By taking your cellphone out in a movie theatre you're being a jerk. It's made clear that people are to turn their cellphones off in the theatre. The reason is obvious, because someone sitting near you, that pulls out a cellphone, distracts everybody around him.

Use your head.


Last edited by Beakermania*: 08-04-2008 at 03:03 PM.
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08-04-2008, 01:04 AM
  #109
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Dude, I understand you. I got angry quite a few times without any reasons, and fortunately, now at 19, I have been able to partially solve this problem. When I was 16 or so, I was kind of aggressive. If you want some tips :

- Breath. Breath slowly and try to imagine yourself breathing your anger out.
- Think to smoething else.
- Be relative. What will happen to you anyway? You worth more than that.

And finally, keep in mind that when you're gonna be 19-20, people are going to be much more rude, and you'll not get away freely because of your age.

Anyway, good luck. Try to work on that daily.

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08-04-2008, 01:05 AM
  #110
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Originally Posted by FerrisRox View Post
You don't get it: By taking your cellphone out in a movie theatre you're being a jerk. It's made clear that people are to turn their cellphones off in the theatre. The reason is obvious, because someone sitting near you, that pulls out a cellphone, distracts everybody around him.

Use your head.
No I'm not. If I was jerk, I woudn't have cared if I was bothering anyone around me and just pulled it out in front of my face or near it, but I tried not to bother anybody, by doing in a subtile way, which seemed to work considering not one complained except someone who wasn't even directly near me.

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08-04-2008, 01:12 AM
  #111
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She wasn't even besides me, she was behind me, and not even directly behind me, she was behind the guy to my right. Once again, it's no problem if someone asks me nicely, but if you're gonna be rude about it, don't except me to smile and say sorry.
....so obviously it was so noisy/visible she could see/hear it from a row back and to the right. You're lucky you didn't get a punch to the back of the head, let alone being told off. It's understood that taking out your cell phone in the theatre is incredibly rude. Who cares how long you were texting for? For all she knew you were going to be on the damn thing for 2 hours.

Why are you so important that you get to be the exception to the rule? If your life is so hectic that you can't shut your phone off for 2 hours you shouldn't be watching a movie in public.

Again, it's hilarious that you say she was, according to you, so far away that it wouldn't have bothered her...and yet somehow...she knew you were using your cell phone. Think about that for a minute.

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Originally Posted by Africa. View Post
No I'm not. If I was jerk, I woudn't have cared if I was bothering anyone around me and just pulled it out in front of my face or near it, but I tried not to bother anybody, by doing in a subtile way, which seemed to work considering not one complained except someone who wasn't even directly near me.
That's because not everyone has the balls to say something to someone in the theatre because:

a)they may be with 5 gang banger friends. In case you haven't noticed, people get jumped for telling teens off in this day and age.
b)you could wind up in a shouting match with the person and end up missing even more of the movie, putting yourself in an even worse mood


You could sit there farting up a storm and no one could say anything to you. Do you think they mind that either?


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08-04-2008, 01:18 AM
  #112
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I don't understand why people decide to fight... Once you reach 12 you should be grown up enough to know that fighting is simply retarded.
If someone pisses you off, just ignore them... It's really not that hard. I have not seriously hit anyone since I was 10 years old.
Trust me, I've had situations where I would've liked to knock someone out, but I restrained myself.
Here's an example: A few weeks ago, I had the unpleasant honour of seeing my brother. It was at a small party being held at my grandparents' house. Anyways, my brother being the prime wigger he is, decided to bring along a friend. Note that the entire family hates this child (they're both 16, and I'm 18). Anyways, for some reason or another, all of the adults decide to go get something at the store, leaving me alone with my brother and his friend.
I decided I'd rather not spend the time in the company of my brother and his friend, so I went and had a seat on the deck beside the pool, shut my eyes, and tried to fall asleep. About 15 seconds later, I hear the screen door slide open, and, knowing who it is, I keep my eyes shut and ignore the two of them. They sit down beside me and start firing off some of the most annoying, insulting ,and disgusting questions... My brother's friend then goes ahead and says, "what colour is your girlfriend's vagina hair?" I love my girlfriend to death, and to hear anyone say/ask something about her in a disgusting manner drives me nuts and cause the most intense reactions from me.
So, I opened my eyes, looked at the child, and told him, very slowly, "You should consider yourself lucky that I have the self restraint that I do, because if I was anyone else, your head would be coming out of your ass right now."
That doesn't mean they stopped though... Oh no... They kept on going, and from that point on I decided, I'd be a rat. I'd be the d-bag who gets them in crap. So, I took out my cell phone very discreetly, opened the audio recorder and placed the phone on my lap. They went at it for another 5 minutes before everyone got back.
I had told them several times during their whole 'discussion' that I'd be ratting on them, but they just kept on going. So, just as my mother walks in, I smile and say, "these two had some really nice words about my girlfriend". I told her about the whole pubic hair thing and they blatantly denied it. Of course, I planned to let them deny it as long as possible and then pull out the recording. Which I promptly did.
Let's just say, my brother is no longer welcome in my grandparents' or my mother's house
So, allllll this goes to say... There's no reason to hit anyone, just get them in trouble in a way that's comical for yourself.


Last edited by StlRams514: 08-04-2008 at 01:24 AM.
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08-04-2008, 01:32 AM
  #113
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Working out helps me, or writing, just remember that punching bricks will break your fists.

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Originally Posted by StlRams514 View Post
I don't understand why people decide to fight... Once you reach 12 you should be grown up enough to know that fighting is simply retarded.
If someone pisses you off, just ignore them... It's really not that hard. I have not seriously hit anyone since I was 10 years old.
Trust me, I've had situations where I would've liked to knock someone out, but I restrained myself.
Here's an example: A few weeks ago, I had the unpleasant honour of seeing my brother. It was at a small party being held at my grandparents' house. Anyways, my brother being the prime wigger he is, decided to bring along a friend. Note that the entire family hates this child (they're both 16, and I'm 18). Anyways, for some reason or another, all of the adults decide to go get something at the store, leaving me alone with my brother and his friend.
I decided I'd rather not spend the time in the company of my brother and his friend, so I went and had a seat on the deck beside the pool, shut my eyes, and tried to fall asleep. About 15 seconds later, I hear the screen door slide open, and, knowing who it is, I keep my eyes shut and ignore the two of them. They sit down beside me and start firing off some of the most annoying, insulting ,and disgusting questions... My brother's friend then goes ahead and says, "what colour is your girlfriend's vagina hair?" I love my girlfriend to death, and to hear anyone say/ask something about her in a disgusting manner drives me nuts and cause the most intense reactions from me.
So, I opened my eyes, looked at the child, and told him, very slowly, "You should consider yourself lucky that I have the self restraint that I do, because if I was anyone else, your head would be coming out of your ass right now."
That doesn't mean they stopped though... Oh no... They kept on going, and from that point on I decided, I'd be a rat. I'd be the d-bag who gets them in crap. So, I took out my cell phone very discreetly, opened the audio recorder and placed the phone on my lap. They went at it for another 5 minutes before everyone got back.
I had told them several times during their whole 'discussion' that I'd be ratting on them, but they just kept on going. So, just as my mother walks in, I smile and say, "these two had some really nice words about my girlfriend". I told her about the whole pubic hair thing and they blatantly denied it. Of course, I planned to let them deny it as long as possible and then pull out the recording. Which I promptly did.
Let's just say, my brother is no longer welcome in my grandparents' or my mother's house
So, allllll this goes to say... There's no reason to hit anyone, just get them in trouble in a way that's comical for yourself.
That's awesome, I remember when I went to Montreal there was a lot of white wiggers in the neighborhood.

Anyways, they're some positions where you just have to fight, my uncle was put in one of those positions. It was basically his life or the other guys and he took action. With some people they have no other way of getting around things or solving problems, they thrive off anger and all, so you have to fight fire with fire.


Last edited by Beakermania*: 08-04-2008 at 03:13 PM.
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08-04-2008, 01:55 AM
  #114
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Originally Posted by StlRams514 View Post
I had told them several times during their whole 'discussion' that I'd be ratting on them, but they just kept on going. So, just as my mother walks in, I smile and say, "these two had some really nice words about my girlfriend". I told her about the whole pubic hair thing and they blatantly denied it. Of course, I planned to let them deny it as long as possible and then pull out the recording. Which I promptly did.
Let's just say, my brother is no longer welcome in my grandparents' or my mother's house
So, allllll this goes to say... There's no reason to hit anyone, just get them in trouble in a way that's comical for yourself.
Being a sneaky rat to your little brother is more mature than punching him?

So...as the older, more mature brother, instead of trying to set an example for him, or at the very least yelling at him and his twit friend...you underhandedly embarrass him to the point where his own grandmother is now disgusted at the sight of him, causing him to now harbor a deep resentment to you?

Wow. Not a story to be proud of. And what's with your mother? I've said some truly disgusting things in my youth, but if my mother ever heard them(she heard enough) I would still be forgiven because I'm her flesh and blood. Christ, that's terrible.

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08-04-2008, 04:24 AM
  #115
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My perspective is that this anger reflects a lack of confidence in yourself. Perhaps you are not enthusiastic about where your life is headed.

If I were in your position, I would think hard what my talents are and what I truly like to do, and go about making the most of these talents. Find a university, college or trade school, and become the best you can be at what you are good at.

Perceived slights become insignificant when your self-confidence is more robust.

My own experience is illustrative. My original impetus for going back for a Master's was a romance that turned out be an exercise in manipulation on the woman's part, to drive someone else jealous. Rather than a downward spiral following that, I made mine upward, and eventually went for the Ph.D. as well.

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08-04-2008, 04:40 AM
  #116
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08-04-2008, 04:51 AM
  #117
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Originally Posted by Africa. View Post
No I'm not. If I was jerk, I woudn't have cared if I was bothering anyone around me and just pulled it out in front of my face or near it, but I tried not to bother anybody, by doing in a subtile way, which seemed to work considering not one complained except someone who wasn't even directly near me.
...The point is, it is considered rude to use a cellphone in a theater as everyone knows. So you were rude first and should have realized that from the beginning. Quit being a little juvenille punk and grow up for starters.

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08-04-2008, 05:14 AM
  #118
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LOL, I just noticed the ad at the bottom of the thread that google put up:

drjohn.JPG


Bwahahahahahaha

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08-04-2008, 07:57 AM
  #119
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She wasn't even besides me, she was behind me, and not even directly behind me, she was behind the guy to my right. Once again, it's no problem if someone asks me nicely, but if you're gonna be rude about it, don't except me to smile and say sorry.
It's not because someone is rude that you have to act the same.

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08-04-2008, 08:04 AM
  #120
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It's not because someone is rude that you have to act the same.
Especially when you were the one who opened your cell phone in a movie theater. I can see where maybe sending a quick text wouldn't bother anyone, but apparently it did. Regardless of how the girl responded to it- and yes, she should have been more polite- you were the one disrupting her during the movie, and yes, you should have apologized and put the phone away.

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08-04-2008, 08:34 AM
  #121
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Especially when you were the one who opened your cell phone in a movie theater. I can see where maybe sending a quick text wouldn't bother anyone, but apparently it did. Regardless of how the girl responded to it- and yes, she should have been more polite- you were the one disrupting her during the movie, and yes, you should have apologized and put the phone away.
It's as simple as getting up out of one's seat, stepping out of the room and using it in the lobby. There really is no excuse.

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08-04-2008, 08:46 AM
  #122
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I'm thinking that 300lbs boyfriend should have said screw it and kicked the snot out of you anyway... pushy teens who think they are tough guys because they're protected by the law always tick me off.

All teens should be fair ground for **** kickings... someone start a petition to get the legal ass kicking age changed to 11 will ya.

As for help... take two Prozac and call me in the morning.

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08-04-2008, 08:48 AM
  #123
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Any tips to help me control my anger, if anyone's has been or is the same way? I don't know what it is...i'm a nice guy to most people, but when someone gives me an attitude, or an attitude to friends or girlfriends, or just a guy who thinks he's the **** in general, I'm quick to start arguing and shoving and fighting or giving attitude.

Take for example....today. I'm at the movies, and I get a text, it was on vibrate so no one could hear, I take it my phone quietly and text back, with my phone next to my knee. This 20 something lady, tells me to turn off my phone in a rude manner, after the movie I look at her and tell her the movie was on the screen and not near my knee. Afterwards, her 300 pound boyfriend wanting to show off, for some reason, feels it's okay to bump into me, probably thinking I was a dumb teen who woudn't do anything about it, so I get angry and kinda shove him, asking him what's his problem, obviously, since he doesn't wanna go to jail for hitting a kid, just walks away calling me a dirtbag. I know you're not suppose to let people walk over you, but my problem is I get angry too quickly.

I'm quick to throw my fists, I've been in quite a few fights in my life, and when I think about it, it's mostly been me who started them, and I've enjoyed it. I've never fought a friend, or someone I knew, it's usually been someone who gave me or friends attitude. I kinda want to start controlling myself better though in those kind of situations, any tips?


When I read this, makes me realize that we are, indeed, reasonable animals. some are more "animals" than other of course...But i'm in no way an idealist; I know that this is what makes the world go round and round...
Still, I respect the fact that you came out and thought about all this

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08-04-2008, 09:02 AM
  #124
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I'm thinking that 300lbs boyfriend should have said screw it and kicked the snot out of you anyway... pushy teens who think they are tough guys because they're protected by the law always tick me off.

All teens should be fair ground for **** kickings... someone start a petition to get the legal ass kicking age changed to 11 will ya.

As for help... take two Prozac and call me in the morning.
Agreed. Anyone who says "I like to fight" sounds like a moron.

It's the guys who don't like the fight that scare the crap out of me - partly because there's the possibility that they have some fighting skill.

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08-04-2008, 09:04 AM
  #125
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Let's just all stop yapping and start fighting.

I'll be at Dominion Square downtown tomorrow at noon with my numchuks.

Anybody else up for a mass brawl?

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