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help with problem on my team

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Old
02-06-2009, 01:18 AM
  #1
kmd mode
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help with problem on my team

My team's about a few weeks away from playoffs, in an 18uAA midget league, and few problems are coming up on the team, especially with one of the players.

He just goes around talking smack about everybody, and it led to him talking about one of my teammates sisters, and things got escalated and they're at eachothers throats and ready to drop the gloves at practice.

As the captain, do i let em duke it out, mind you, the player talking all the smack deserves an ass beating and is likely to get one, or do i stop it before the fight starts and try not to create too much tension before playoffs

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02-06-2009, 01:28 AM
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As the captain, you need to talk the teammate who's talking smack and tell him he needs to cut that **** out. If he doesn't, go to the coach and he'll maybe sit him a few games. Better to be short handed than to have a cancer on your team.

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02-06-2009, 07:54 AM
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Pull an avery. Behavioral modification program.

Torture. Lots of torture.

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02-06-2009, 09:48 AM
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Hockey has always been known as a game that polices itself. I have been captain of many of my teams and have coached for years and years. Your job as captain is to do what is right for the whole team. Not everyone on it individually. If the yapper getting a beating helps your team out as a whole.......let em go. If 19 guys will feel better and 1 guy will feel worse then that's an easy decision. Your job at that point is to know when the point has gotten across and stop it before it gets too out of hand. Obviously don't let the guy get hurt. Just getting a beat down with gloves and helmets on in front of the whole team might do the trick.

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02-06-2009, 10:12 AM
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At the risk of sounding like a wuss, I disagree with the idea of a physical altercation. I would meet with the perpetrator and warn him that he has one more chance. Either he apologize to his teammates or you will see to it that he is out (via the coach as I don't imagine you have that authority.) Then I would call a meeting with all the players and let them know that that there is no place for distractions and it is time to put aside our differences in pursut of the playoffs. If there are any further problems, the guy is gone.

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02-06-2009, 10:24 AM
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If you have the authority to do it I'd suspend him for a game. Tell him exactly why you're doing it, that the other players are sick of his crap and it's for the good of the team. Make it clear that he needs to earn back the trust of his teammates because right now they don't want to play with him. Hopefully that gets his attention.

I don't think letting guys fight it out is going to help anyone.

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02-06-2009, 10:27 AM
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keep the rest of the team from falling into his BS, is your coach aware of the problem?

fighting or locker boxing can only make things worse. it may make some guys feel better for a while, but the problem will not go away.


Last edited by beardedgraf: 02-06-2009 at 11:25 AM.
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02-06-2009, 12:54 PM
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well. id say, you need to stop. they playoffs are coming up. and if that doesnt stop it, then let em fight and get it over. sometimes thats the only thing that will work

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02-06-2009, 01:00 PM
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i say u let them throw down...unless the smack-talker is winning the fight then stop it but if he is getting beat then just let him get his *** beating.

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02-06-2009, 01:02 PM
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Originally Posted by dwermblues24 View Post
i say u let them throw down...unless the smack-talker is winning the fight then stop it but if he is getting beat then just let him get his *** beating.
i dont think that will work. if one of them just gets hammered it might get worse. try to stop them from fighting, and if it just doesnt work say. you guys either fight on ice, in locker room, or some where else and shut the heck up about it. we dont need anymore distractions from players.



i hope you get it resolved

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02-06-2009, 01:04 PM
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Originally Posted by pcgflyers12 View Post
i dont think that will work. if one of them just gets hammered it might get worse. try to stop them from fighting, and if it just doesnt work say. you guys either fight on ice, in locker room, or some where else and shut the heck up about it. we dont need anymore distractions from players.



i hope you get it resolved

well i guess ur entitled 2 ur own opinion..... but idk...ive never had this situation b4 on my team

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02-06-2009, 01:05 PM
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Originally Posted by dwermblues24 View Post
well i guess ur entitled 2 ur own opinion..... but idk...ive never had this situation b4 on my team
yea. well i hope they get it taken care of. i wouldnt want you guys to end up loosin in the playoffs.

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02-06-2009, 01:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kmd mode View Post
My team's about a few weeks away from playoffs, in an 18uAA midget league, and few problems are coming up on the team, especially with one of the players.

He just goes around talking smack about everybody, and it led to him talking about one of my teammates sisters, and things got escalated and they're at eachothers throats and ready to drop the gloves at practice.

As the captain, do i let em duke it out, mind you, the player talking all the smack deserves an ass beating and is likely to get one, or do i stop it before the fight starts and try not to create too much tension before playoffs
Well, first of all, there is only one person on the team that says anything negitive about anyone else and that's the coach. No one should say...Boo about anything!

What you have is a Cancerous growth and it need to be cut out quickly before it spreads....and it will!

Unfortunately you are about to go into playoff. Maybe, if the coach know about it today, he can take care of it by sitting the guy out until play-offs.

To keep this from happening again, every year, I have the Seniors on the team control the unclassmen. Each Senior is responsable to help mentor a group of five guys.

I mentor the Seniors and tell them which direction I want the ship to go and they help me with that.

Then I have the assistant coaches have a group of players to mentor as well. Each assistant is required to ask each player within his group the following questions.
  • How are things going at home?
  • How are things going at school?
  • How the job going?
  • How's are things going with your girlfriend?

Now, not that we want to get into our player's personal life, we just want to make sure everything is ok, so that he is focusing on hockey and not problems. Where there is smoke, there is fire. We just want to extinguish any problems before they get out of control.

Hope this helps.
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02-06-2009, 03:04 PM
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thanks for the help guys.

I've tolded the guy to stop talkin smack before, he doesn't really listen. He's had a few suspensions cause of his attitude already this season, by the refs and our coaches. He doesn't seem to change and our coaches feel the need to keep giving him chances to prove himself. He's not a stud on the team, nor is he terrible. He's effective in the lineup, but causes lots of commotion on the bench through attitude. I feel like the only thing thats gonna stop this from continually coming back up is if they have it out and leave it at that. If the coaches step in i think they're just going to be at each others throats with trash talkin for the rest of the season, but if they have it out i hope they'll be able to move on after that.


thanks for the help again

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02-06-2009, 05:30 PM
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Its unfortunate but the kid has a hard head and fials to learn from his mistakes. I am quite sure that there are others on the team who also encourage this kid in several ways. One is to be supportive of his position and another is to provide negative attention. Both are just as bad. Your team mates have to know that they are NOT to give the comments of this loud mouth any attention, positive or negative. Do not be baited, do not rebutt.

A physical altercation will NOT settle this issue. It will escalate in ways you can not begin to imagine.

Involve your Coach ASAP, informing him of the situation, spedifically regarding your opinion on how derisive and explosive it has become. You might also consider having a short chat with his parents (quitely and aside from others who may over hear) regarding his on ice and locker room behaviors. Be factual and non-judgemental. If you are not comfortable with repeating the players comments back to his parents verbally, write them down. Walk up to both or one and simply hand it to them, state that these are things that "johnny" is saying to his team mates....and walk away. the boys parents may have more luck at correcting this behavior than any other.

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02-06-2009, 07:38 PM
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We're old enough now to not need to involve parents. it's a team of 17 and 18 year olds. In my opinion, The parents have no place with the internal conflicts on the team.

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02-06-2009, 07:41 PM
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Originally Posted by kmd mode View Post
We're old enough now to not need to involve parents. it's a team of 17 and 18 year olds. In my opinion, The parents have no place with the internal conflicts on the team.
That is true. If it was 13 or 14 year olds than i guess they would. But just talk to them. Try not to let them fight.

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02-07-2009, 06:39 AM
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make the guy causing trouble sit out the playoffs unless he proves he can work as a team.

No one likes a terrorist amongst the ranks

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02-07-2009, 12:19 PM
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Originally Posted by kmd mode View Post
We're old enough now to not need to involve parents. it's a team of 17 and 18 year olds. In my opinion, The parents have no place with the internal conflicts on the team.
And you're willing to bet the playoffs on that? Unless you have no faith in your coach I think you should tell him what's going on. If you're really as mature as you claim you're not above asking somebody else for advice. You could give him the head's up and say you'd like to handle it yourself if you feel that strongly about it. But think about the ramifications -- if the situation blows up and "problem child" or one of the other players gets badly hurt because of it who's going to get blamed? The coach will.

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02-07-2009, 02:51 PM
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Originally Posted by EmptyNetter View Post
And you're willing to bet the playoffs on that? Unless you have no faith in your coach I think you should tell him what's going on. If you're really as mature as you claim you're not above asking somebody else for advice. You could give him the head's up and say you'd like to handle it yourself if you feel that strongly about it. But think about the ramifications -- if the situation blows up and "problem child" or one of the other players gets badly hurt because of it who's going to get blamed? The coach will.

i never said i'm above asking for advice. That's exactly what i did with this thread. I said there's no room for the parents, not the coach.
I understand your point, but see it from my perspective. The same "cancerous" player and another teammate on the team got into a small altercation before, and as soon as it happened the coach found out. This altercation was both of the players faults and the only outcome was our team having a bagskate practice. I'm not opposed to skating when deserving, but the problem was left unsolved and now the two don't get along at all and there's no trust there, because they weren't given the opportunity to settle their own disputes.

I've gone to the coach numerous times when i feel something's out of my control or now that he'll be able to handle it better. I've taken advice before to make the better decision.
They haven't fought yet and i am still conflicted with the decision, and i made the thread to see what other people thought would be the better decision for a team.

my latest post was merely me making a claim that the players are old enough to not have to go to their own parents, however i never said turning to authority was out of the question.

Thanks again for the responses, it's helpful when trying to come up with the solution

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02-07-2009, 05:29 PM
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I agree with you about the parents-way too late for that. I do think that the coach will have to get involved. I don't like it though when the coach's solution for evrything is to bag the players- just plain stupid and risks injuring someone. If the coach is an idiot like that, better handle it yourself.

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02-07-2009, 05:38 PM
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Originally Posted by kmd mode View Post
i never said i'm above asking for advice. That's exactly what i did with this thread. I said there's no room for the parents, not the coach.
I understand your point, but see it from my perspective. The same "cancerous" player and another teammate on the team got into a small altercation before, and as soon as it happened the coach found out. This altercation was both of the players faults and the only outcome was our team having a bagskate practice. I'm not opposed to skating when deserving, but the problem was left unsolved and now the two don't get along at all and there's no trust there, because they weren't given the opportunity to settle their own disputes.

I've gone to the coach numerous times when i feel something's out of my control or now that he'll be able to handle it better. I've taken advice before to make the better decision.
They haven't fought yet and i am still conflicted with the decision, and i made the thread to see what other people thought would be the better decision for a team.

my latest post was merely me making a claim that the players are old enough to not have to go to their own parents, however i never said turning to authority was out of the question.

Thanks again for the responses, it's helpful when trying to come up with the solution
Sorry for jumping to conclusions. But now I'm unclear about how the fight between two players mushroomed into the problem player talking smack about everybody on the team unless everybody blames him for the bagskate. And why doesn't the coach know that the issue is still unresolved? I realize you probably don't want to give too many specifics on a public board so I'm just thinking out loud here.

I don't know if you've found your answer yet but I wish you success in working out a solution.

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02-07-2009, 06:20 PM
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Originally Posted by EmptyNetter View Post
Sorry for jumping to conclusions. But now I'm unclear about how the fight between two players mushroomed into the problem player talking smack about everybody on the team unless everybody blames him for the bagskate. And why doesn't the coach know that the issue is still unresolved? I realize you probably don't want to give too many specifics on a public board so I'm just thinking out loud here.

I don't know if you've found your answer yet but I wish you success in working out a solution.

well those are just two isolated cases. the problem right now doesn't have anything really to do with the other altercation other than one of the same people is involved. i was just using an example saying how our coaches handled it and how i think its still not resolved.


the situations are completely different, the only problem is that one of our players just talks smack about a lot of players and it's not necessarily due to a previous altercation, it's just him. However this time it may lead to a physical altercation and not just verbal.

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02-07-2009, 06:27 PM
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Well i ended up talking to each player seperately.

The "trash" talker- i told him how he really needs to stop all the mouthing off, and he agreed that he got out of hand, but now he feels the need to defend himself because then he'll just look like a punk. he mentioned he has no hard feeling with the guy and said if they actually fight which i asked him to avoid, he'll leave it at that.


the other teammate- i asked him about avoiding the fight, but he said he needs to send the message that talking about family just isn't okay, and wants to put the other kid in place. he also said he doesn't have any major problems with the smack talking teammate but he feels he has to do it.

i asked both of them to avoid the fight but they feel the need to actually fight. Given that information do you guys think it will be left at that fight and that's it or will it still carry on and if i should go to the coaches now?

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02-07-2009, 09:30 PM
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Originally Posted by kmd mode View Post
Well i ended up talking to each player seperately.

The "trash" talker- i told him how he really needs to stop all the mouthing off, and he agreed that he got out of hand, but now he feels the need to defend himself because then he'll just look like a punk. he mentioned he has no hard feeling with the guy and said if they actually fight which i asked him to avoid, he'll leave it at that.


the other teammate- i asked him about avoiding the fight, but he said he needs to send the message that talking about family just isn't okay, and wants to put the other kid in place. he also said he doesn't have any major problems with the smack talking teammate but he feels he has to do it.

i asked both of them to avoid the fight but they feel the need to actually fight. Given that information do you guys think it will be left at that fight and that's it or will it still carry on and if i should go to the coaches now?

The fight should take care of it. Both say they don't have any other issues with each other. You just need to make sure that nobody gets hurt or nobody else jumps in. Sometimes you just have to get on with your business so that you all can move on and get back to playing together as a team as you move into the playoffs. Hope it all goes well.

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