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Motivating a team-mate to play.

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Old
07-16-2009, 10:50 PM
  #1
Backstrom #19
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Motivating a team-mate to play.

I've got a team-mate who happens to be my brother, who is a hell of a hockey player but he just doesn't give his all. He's got all the natural skills in the world. Great hands, nose for the net, slows the game down, excellent vision. The thing is, he doesn't back-check, skate hard or sacrifice the body for the team. Watching him get back on defence is a joke, and when he actually does get back it's even more of a joke. I guess I wouldn't mind as much if he wasn't my younger brother, but he's got all the skills, but he won't go 100%. I want him to be the best player he can be.

Is this just a case of him having to mature, or does he just not have the passion for the game like other people?

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07-16-2009, 11:01 PM
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How young is he?

I can tell you this much, when I was young (under 15) I never put out full effort. I loved hockey though, dont get me wrong. I really dont know why I didnt, but if I could go back in time and reverse it, I would.

Whether he has passion, or if hes just a lazy **** like I was, is not going to be easy to determine. I know, I didnt help at all, I just felt like sharing

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07-16-2009, 11:02 PM
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Gunnar Stahl 30
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hes your younger brother?? rip into him. **** man i ripped into my teammates all the time when they werent trying and my older brother ripped into me and my teammates when we floated around. you have to be able to seperate hockey and everything else. off the ice is off the ice

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07-17-2009, 12:10 AM
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I agree with the other guys here ... saying nothing is the wrong thing to do.

A guy has to know what he is doing is not okay even if a fight breaks out over it. Tell him he is so good at playing and it is a waste not playing like he should.

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07-17-2009, 12:15 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Backstrom #19 View Post
I've got a team-mate who happens to be my brother, who is a hell of a hockey player but he just doesn't give his all. He's got all the natural skills in the world. Great hands, nose for the net, slows the game down, excellent vision. The thing is, he doesn't back-check, skate hard or sacrifice the body for the team. Watching him get back on defence is a joke, and when he actually does get back it's even more of a joke. I guess I wouldn't mind as much if he wasn't my younger brother, but he's got all the skills, but he won't go 100%. I want him to be the best player he can be.

Is this just a case of him having to mature, or does he just not have the passion for the game like other people?


definitely rip him a new one. I made my younger brother play goalie for me growing up. I'd ride him constantly if he didn't give his all, and I would rip him apart if he let in weak goals. Nothing will motivate someone better than getting embarrassed, and then hearing about it. In the end, we both got better from it, he tried harder to shut me up, and I got better because i reaallllly liked scoring. Now, i'm proud to say my little brother is one of the best goalies I know, and were it not for his size (generously listed at 5'5''), he definately has the technique and skills to be playing d1.

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07-17-2009, 12:47 AM
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I dont know about "ripping into him". With my younger brother its like I know he can do alot better and I tell him how to improve, but it DOES get to a point of going too far and just ruining his experience so I keep it to a minimum to not get to that point.

As frustrating as it is, some people dont find it necessary to play 100%+ they just want to play how they play, especially if its just recreational. You defanitly should say something to him and talk about him playing harder, but dont ride his ass about it till he gets pissed and just doesnt even want to play, cause if you are an ass about it you just may make him pissed and play slower and not try as much just to piss you off, or may just end up not wanting to play with you at all.

I guess this more depends on the person, but maybe try a subtle approach, basically say what you said to us about how he has great talent and that you think he could be playing ALOT better overall and maybe that would help him, but I wouldnt think bein a jerk about it would motivate him all that much...but I could be wrong.

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07-17-2009, 01:08 AM
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Alexei Kovalev is your brother?

Seriously, does it matter that much? Playing high level hockey is not for everyone, maybe he just likes having fun and not getting too hardcore.

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07-17-2009, 05:42 PM
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He's 14 about to be 15.

Lately I have been ripping into him, and it doesn't seem to effect him. It just wants to make him play less, because he knows he won't go 100% and he knows I'll rip into him. Out of 10 games, I'd say he went 100% in 3-4 of them, and he showed he was a great player, but in 6-7 of the games he was lazy, and showed that he shouldn't get a regular shift.

I know we are just playing for "fun" but it gets annoying knowing he can help the team sometimes, but most the time his play hurts us.

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Old
07-17-2009, 05:46 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Backstrom #19 View Post
I've got a team-mate who happens to be my brother, who is a hell of a hockey player but he just doesn't give his all. He's got all the natural skills in the world. Great hands, nose for the net, slows the game down, excellent vision. The thing is, he doesn't back-check, skate hard or sacrifice the body for the team. Watching him get back on defence is a joke, and when he actually does get back it's even more of a joke. I guess I wouldn't mind as much if he wasn't my younger brother, but he's got all the skills, but he won't go 100%. I want him to be the best player he can be.

Is this just a case of him having to mature, or does he just not have the passion for the game like other people?
Is your brother Joe Thornton?

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Old
07-17-2009, 06:13 PM
  #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Backstrom #19 View Post
He's 14 about to be 15.

Lately I have been ripping into him, and it doesn't seem to effect him. It just wants to make him play less, because he knows he won't go 100% and he knows I'll rip into him. Out of 10 games, I'd say he went 100% in 3-4 of them, and he showed he was a great player, but in 6-7 of the games he was lazy, and showed that he shouldn't get a regular shift.

I know we are just playing for "fun" but it gets annoying knowing he can help the team sometimes, but most the time his play hurts us.
I think ripping into him is the wrong plan here. Try to motivate him by setting goals and competing with him. Things like who can have more takeaways in a game, win more faceoffs etc. And after you get him back into it, then set goals like help the team win 3 in a row, the championship etc.

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Old
07-17-2009, 07:47 PM
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Gunnar Stahl 30
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Backstrom #19 View Post
He's 14 about to be 15.

Lately I have been ripping into him, and it doesn't seem to effect him. It just wants to make him play less, because he knows he won't go 100% and he knows I'll rip into him. Out of 10 games, I'd say he went 100% in 3-4 of them, and he showed he was a great player, but in 6-7 of the games he was lazy, and showed that he shouldn't get a regular shift.

I know we are just playing for "fun" but it gets annoying knowing he can help the team sometimes, but most the time his play hurts us.
how high a level are you playing/do you guys play? if he is playing a higher level hockey as a teammate i would rip into him. thats what i did with my hs team. if its a rec league, i wouldnt care so much

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07-17-2009, 07:53 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Backstrom #19 View Post
He's 14 about to be 15.

Lately I have been ripping into him, and it doesn't seem to effect him. It just wants to make him play less, because he knows he won't go 100% and he knows I'll rip into him. Out of 10 games, I'd say he went 100% in 3-4 of them, and he showed he was a great player, but in 6-7 of the games he was lazy, and showed that he shouldn't get a regular shift.

I know we are just playing for "fun" but it gets annoying knowing he can help the team sometimes, but most the time his play hurts us.
How much older are you?

Not meant as a personal question, but roughly how much older is relevant.

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07-17-2009, 08:01 PM
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Alain Racette
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Originally Posted by Murderin Murphy View Post
Is your brother Joe Thornton?


My first thought as well!

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Old
07-18-2009, 02:56 PM
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Just remember that the most important part of hockey is having fun. The great part of minor hockey is that you can play the way you want to, within the rules, and don't have to worry about your next contract or being a healthy scratch.

However, if he wants to go far in hockey just flat out tell him that nobody wants a floater on their team or get John Torterella to yell at him in the face until he gets the message.

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Old
07-19-2009, 08:31 AM
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Do your parents know about this? I know if my parents had been paying for me to play a sport in which I gave a half-assed effort, especially a team sport where I was affecting other people with my lack of trying, they would not have been happy. It doesn't sound like your brother is listening to you, but maybe coming from the people who (I assume, if he's 14) pay for his hockey it would have more effect.

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07-19-2009, 11:09 AM
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How serious is the league? It's one thing if he's like an A player playing in a C league because if you play in a lower league than you should be in, you dumb it down a bit. Play at the same skill set as everybody else.

If he's in a higher league where you guys actually have set lines, make him sit or something at the end of a close game. Say if your team's going to score you need people who want to win on the ice and that's why you're taking him off. I hate when people don't try, I'd rather have a team of C players vs a team of A players that always give it their all instead of a team of lazy A players.

Or maybe show him this topic.

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07-19-2009, 11:56 AM
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i didnt know I was your younger brother


For me though, I dont know how to get motivated. Like I dont know, for me, I know its not my job you know. Its hard to describe it, for me, its not important enough for me to try my hardest. In playoffs, I do tend to pick my game up. Id say 99.5% of the time when I play hard its because I feel bad for my teamates, not because I care. Or if someone pisses me off.

An instance was I spent my whole last game dipsy doing and getting nothing done, then after the game I stayed out and just played around with the puck and taking great shots. I get in the dressing room and the team starts chewing me out for not doing it during the game.

IT also kind of depends on the mood im in. If I have a lot on my mind iI dont play well at all. Ive been told by the person who runs the league that he would move me up if I would play like a gave a damn. Im just very apathetic

As far as getting your brother motivated, I dont know. He has to want to. It happens with me, if you say something you may piss him off to try hard for that shift whatever, but it probably wont carry over to other games. Its up to him. Im 20 and still haven't gotten that "desire" to play hard. I love hockey. I play it as much as I can, but I can't get up for most games. Ill go cause I love the game.

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07-19-2009, 12:18 PM
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This is my own personal philosophy, but I find a lot of people respond better to positive re-enforcement. When he does get back & plays D or puts all his effort in, congratulate him. This way you keep it fun, and you can indirectly help him develop into more of a complete player.

Now not everybody responds the same way when they're getting ripped, but every hockey player likes getting re-assured that they're contributing positively...plus, it keeps the game fun!

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07-19-2009, 12:24 PM
  #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SSM12 View Post
i didnt know I was your younger brother


For me though, I dont know how to get motivated. Like I dont know, for me, I know its not my job you know. Its hard to describe it, for me, its not important enough for me to try my hardest. In playoffs, I do tend to pick my game up. Id say 99.5% of the time when I play hard its because I feel bad for my teamates, not because I care. Or if someone pisses me off.

An instance was I spent my whole last game dipsy doing and getting nothing done, then after the game I stayed out and just played around with the puck and taking great shots. I get in the dressing room and the team starts chewing me out for not doing it during the game.

IT also kind of depends on the mood im in. If I have a lot on my mind iI dont play well at all. Ive been told by the person who runs the league that he would move me up if I would play like a gave a damn. Im just very apathetic

As far as getting your brother motivated, I dont know. He has to want to. It happens with me, if you say something you may piss him off to try hard for that shift whatever, but it probably wont carry over to other games. Its up to him. Im 20 and still haven't gotten that "desire" to play hard. I love hockey. I play it as much as I can, but I can't get up for most games. Ill go cause I love the game.
So you do not ever get really excited anticipating the next game? Or when you make a bad play or think you could have done something different want to change it next time you get the puck?

For me reading your post is pretty upsetting, people should want to better themselves. I understand its for "fun" for you but do you love the sport and just not love playing....?

Maybe its because Im still new to playing it, but everytime I make a mistake matter it be small or big I immediatly think about making sure I do not do the same next time, whether it be making a bad pass, or it just be if I shoulda rushed a guy instead of laying back. I am looking to better myself and just improve everytime Im on the ice and get very excited waiting for the next game.

If I meet someone like you who just basically seems does not give a **** at all, I would not want you on my team, cause it would just piss me off everytime I see you on the ice. Its different if someone is TRYING and having a poor performance and when someone does not give a damn and is just wasting others ice time. If you do not care so much I really think you should not play with a team maybe just go to open hockeys and stick n puck times, quit making it worse for your team....its really selfish in my eyes.

Sorry if I seem harsh but from what you posted its just....being on a team is NOT something for you, its a team sport....get off the ice unless its open time, you are just going to piss everyone on the team off eventually if you already havent. Not that you care about that, cause its pretty apparent you dont I guess. I just do not understand how you feel that way at all but continue to play, on a team atleast.

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07-21-2009, 07:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Backstrom #19 View Post
He's 14 about to be 15.

Lately I have been ripping into him, and it doesn't seem to effect him. It just wants to make him play less, because he knows he won't go 100% and he knows I'll rip into him. Out of 10 games, I'd say he went 100% in 3-4 of them, and he showed he was a great player, but in 6-7 of the games he was lazy, and showed that he shouldn't get a regular shift.

I know we are just playing for "fun" but it gets annoying knowing he can help the team sometimes, but most the time his play hurts us.
Ok, sound like no heart, no drive! So you want me to help you turn on the switch to make him go, do ya? How do your parents feel about his play? Maybe this is his way of getting attention.

Dude, I could spend hours and hours talking with you about how to help this guy get the jump. But to be honest, I have already wrote several articles on my blog about this. So, not to be an a** and put you off, but maybe if you took a few minutes to read some of the things that I wrote on my blog will or might just help.

If they don't, PM me and I will see what I can do to help.

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07-21-2009, 10:08 PM
  #21
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tell him

"you have natural skills. you didnt have to practice as hard as these guys did to get where you are. so why not use them. you have a chance to be in the NHL someday. stick with it"
something liek that.

or like the other guys said rip him.

good luck to you and your brother.

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Old
07-21-2009, 10:25 PM
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Ok, sound like no heart, no drive! So you want me to help you turn on the switch to make him go, do ya? How do your parents feel about his play? Maybe this is his way of getting attention.

Dude, I could spend hours and hours talking with you about how to help this guy get the jump. But to be honest, I have already wrote several articles on my blog about this. So, not to be an a** and put you off, but maybe if you took a few minutes to read some of the things that I wrote on my blog will or might just help.

If they don't, PM me and I will see what I can do to help.

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I wish you were my coach when I was younger..

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Old
07-26-2009, 10:29 PM
  #23
Backstrom #19
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Originally Posted by Crosbyfan View Post
How much older are you?

Not meant as a personal question, but roughly how much older is relevant.
17

Quote:
Originally Posted by LilWinger11 View Post
Do your parents know about this? I know if my parents had been paying for me to play a sport in which I gave a half-assed effort, especially a team sport where I was affecting other people with my lack of trying, they would not have been happy. It doesn't sound like your brother is listening to you, but maybe coming from the people who (I assume, if he's 14) pay for his hockey it would have more effect.
My parents just want him to have "fun"...It's a competitive league and we play in small tournaments and stuff. It just pisses me off that he's wasting his talent.

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Old
07-26-2009, 10:58 PM
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Blanket party's always seem to have a positive effect.

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07-26-2009, 11:04 PM
  #25
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Originally Posted by CapnCrunch View Post
This is my own personal philosophy, but I find a lot of people respond better to positive re-enforcement. When he does get back & plays D or puts all his effort in, congratulate him. This way you keep it fun, and you can indirectly help him develop into more of a complete player.

Now not everybody responds the same way when they're getting ripped, but every hockey player likes getting re-assured that they're contributing positively...plus, it keeps the game fun!
I agree with this. "Tearing him a new one" might just embarrass or discourage him to a point where hockey is no longer fun to him- and maybe he just quits. Hockey is, after all, supposed to be fun.

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