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Pretend You're Steve Yzerman

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Old
07-22-2010, 06:51 PM
  #126
Retail1LO
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This is some of the funniest stuff I've ever read on this board. I don't know who came up with SFY, but it's hysterical.

Lou Lamoriello: Those peckerheads in the NHL called shenanigans on that deal Lord Kovalchuk just inked. What the ****.

Kovalchuk's Agent: It's ok. His Highness didn't want to wait that long to make that pittance of a salary any way. Oh hey...Lou? I have call on the other line. Can I call you back?

Lou Lamoriello: No. This is really importa... *click* Mother******!

Kovalchuk's Agent: Hello? Who's this?

SFY: Who's this? WHO'S THIS? It's Steve ****ing Yzerman.

Kovalchuk's Agent: I'm so sorr...

SFY: Yeah yeah. Nevermind that. Look. I have deal put together that'll make that retard...I mean client of yours filthy rich.

Kovalchuk's Agent: Lay it on me Steve.

SFY: We're going to pay him a BILLION dollars.

Kovalchuk's Agent: Shut...up.

SFY: Seriously. We're going to pay him $1M a year for the next THOUSAND years. Butthead can eat a **** too. He'll get paid the same EVERY year.

Kovalchuk's Agent: Dude, they'll never let that fly. !That's just crazy. Who do you think you are?

SFY: I'm Steve ****ing Yzerman!

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Old
07-22-2010, 08:47 PM
  #127
Cyborg Yzerman
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Retail1LO View Post
This is some of the funniest stuff I've ever read on this board. I don't know who came up with SFY, but it's hysterical.

Lou Lamoriello: Those peckerheads in the NHL called shenanigans on that deal Lord Kovalchuk just inked. What the ****.

Kovalchuk's Agent: It's ok. His Highness didn't want to wait that long to make that pittance of a salary any way. Oh hey...Lou? I have call on the other line. Can I call you back?

Lou Lamoriello: No. This is really importa... *click* Mother******!

Kovalchuk's Agent: Hello? Who's this?

SFY: Who's this? WHO'S THIS? It's Steve ****ing Yzerman.

Kovalchuk's Agent: I'm so sorr...

SFY: Yeah yeah. Nevermind that. Look. I have deal put together that'll make that retard...I mean client of yours filthy rich.

Kovalchuk's Agent: Lay it on me Steve.

SFY: We're going to pay him a BILLION dollars.

Kovalchuk's Agent: Shut...up.

SFY: Seriously. We're going to pay him $1M a year for the next THOUSAND years. Butthead can eat a **** too. He'll get paid the same EVERY year.

Kovalchuk's Agent: Dude, they'll never let that fly. !That's just crazy. Who do you think you are?

SFY: I'm Steve ****ing Yzerman!
People talk about gaining Bettman's preferential treatment...Yzerman uses him as a footrest

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Old
07-22-2010, 09:43 PM
  #128
DatsyukOwns
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Originally Posted by Belak Attack View Post
Try for a Backstrom type deal?
I agree
Same type of deal

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Old
07-22-2010, 09:51 PM
  #129
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2 year deal worth 7.5 mill a year.

Imo it's stupid to give a long term deal to a player like Stamkos at this time. Wait another 2 years and he could be a 40 goal 90 point forward.

Really I'd only give him a long term deal once St. Louis starts to decline, which should lead to lower points totals.

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Old
07-23-2010, 06:36 PM
  #130
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Quote:
Originally Posted by slapshots1515 View Post
I LOVE how he's now universally Steve ****ing Yzerman.
I hope one day, in some interview, JUST ONCE, he says, "Why? Because I'm Steve ****ing Yzerman, that's why."

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Old
07-23-2010, 08:59 PM
  #131
Retail1LO
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Attack Llama View Post
I hope one day, in some interview, JUST ONCE, he says, "Why? Because I'm Steve ****ing Yzerman, that's why."
I'm only 32 years old. But if I heard that right now...I could die...and I'd be happy. LOL I seriously laugh every single time I read "Steve ****ing Yzerman." I laugh even harder when I see it next to that mugshot of Steve with that devlish smile on his face. I just can't help it. I absolutely lose it.

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Old
07-23-2010, 09:01 PM
  #132
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I wonder what the cap hit would be if Stevie Y offered Kovalchuk Paul Holmgrens testicles as a signing bonus?

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Old
07-23-2010, 09:56 PM
  #133
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Originally Posted by nhljohnson View Post
Apples and oranges.

Mikko Koivu is 27 years old and would have been UFA when his present contract expires. Stamkos is turning 21 in February 2011. He will be RFA when his present contract expires.

Even the Kane and Toews deals aren't perfect comparables because of the QO slip-up that Tallon took the fall for.
Kane and Toews were not part of the RFA tendering fiasco. Only Versteeg, Barker, Aaron Johnson, and maybe a fourth RFA were involved.

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Old
07-23-2010, 10:01 PM
  #134
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If I was Steve Yzerman I would trade Lecaviler to the Oilers for Horcoff

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Old
07-23-2010, 10:20 PM
  #135
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Originally Posted by OILNATION View Post
If I was Steve Yzerman I would trade Lecaviler to the Oilers for Horcoff
Yeah, and horcoff would proceed to become a ppg selke-caliber player. Because he was the chosen of... Steve ****ing Yzerman!

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Old
07-23-2010, 10:43 PM
  #136
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Probably a 6.5m cap hit is good enough.

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Old
07-23-2010, 11:38 PM
  #137
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I request for this thread to be renamed "Speculation: Pretend You're Steve ***ing Yzerman"

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Old
07-24-2010, 06:10 AM
  #138
Kimota
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Who is this Steve ****ing Yzerman fella? All I know is Yves ****ing Le Serman.

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Old
07-24-2010, 06:43 AM
  #139
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Nik Backstrom-ish dollars/years.

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Old
07-24-2010, 12:06 PM
  #140
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You extend him a ear with a 7 million dollar contract. If he proves he can still keep up with Ovechkin and Crosby, you give him the elite contract he deserves and go on your way.

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Old
07-24-2010, 03:44 PM
  #141
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Probably a 6-7 year deal worth 6-6.5 per year.

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Old
07-24-2010, 03:51 PM
  #142
Karitimes
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I haven't pretended I was Stevie Y since the snowy days in the mid 90s on the outdoor pond with my 12 year old friends. I trust his opinion over mine and I'm sure he'll do what's in the best interest of the Bolts.

Won't be more than a 6M hit and it won't be his retirement contract.

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Old
07-25-2010, 07:58 PM
  #143
slapshots1515
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Attack Llama View Post
I hope one day, in some interview, JUST ONCE, he says, "Why? Because I'm Steve ****ing Yzerman, that's why."
Unfortunately, the guy's just too classy and humble, but he's earned the right to say it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Retail1LO View Post
I'm only 32 years old. But if I heard that right now...I could die...and I'd be happy. LOL I seriously laugh every single time I read "Steve ****ing Yzerman." I laugh even harder when I see it next to that mugshot of Steve with that devlish smile on his face. I just can't help it. I absolutely lose it.
I have to agree. Need an avatar of that.

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Old
07-25-2010, 08:01 PM
  #144
KarmaPolice
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Call Charles Wang of the NYIs and ask for some advice for terms that would be suitable for a long term deal. He's the master.

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Old
07-25-2010, 09:30 PM
  #145
Selke
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5 Years / $6,825,000 Per

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Old
07-25-2010, 10:01 PM
  #146
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Originally Posted by BodamsHjammer View Post
5 Years / $6,825,000 Per
SFY could shed two zeroes off that

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