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Dealing with "that guy" in beer leagues

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Old
11-19-2010, 04:10 AM
  #1
Kritter471
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Dealing with "that guy" in beer leagues

You all know That Guy. He's the one who tries to channel Scotty Bowman and Herb Brooks while not knowing what he's talking about. He reams beginner players for mistakes they don't have the skills to fix yet. He preaches level-inappropriate tactics and wants to Win At All Costs, including stacking lines every time you're on special teams or berating the refs for bad calls.

In my particular case, I'm in small co-ed rec league that's at the bottom of my rink's skill level system, exactly where I belong. We've got a range from a couple extremely talented guys playing in all three levels who try to help instruct the newer guys to the pure beginner (a conversation on our bench last game included questions of whether penalties expired at the end of a period if a goal had not yet been scored). We play once a week and have "captains" but no coaches, and all four teams make the playoffs at the end of the season. Captains essentially draft the teams, make sure we all have appropriate color jerseys and call us to tell us our first game time.

But my team's captain is an arrogant jerk who isn't as good as he thinks he is, knows nothing about level-appropriate tactics and is a general ass. He's an assistant coach on the house bantam team and seems to think things that will work at that level will work for us while not actually following any of his own directions. He freaks out at our newest beginners for not raising their shots when they're happy they got on and off the ice without falling, stacks lines every game which means less-skilled players always get shorted ice time and greets any suggestions for changes with "I'm the (freaking) coach of this team!" which would be comical if it weren't so annoying. And all that wouldn't be so bad if he, a defenseman, actually played the position like he's supposed to. He plays like a center but won't move up to actually play center because "I'm one of our better skaters and we need me at D."

I love playing, but he just aggravates the hell out of me and about half of our team every game. Our rink makes the women dress in a separate room, so I don't get the dose of him the guys on our team apparently get in the locker room. But no amount of telling him he's acting like a tool seems to get him to change.

Short of quietly hoping he develops a permanent case of laryngitis, any advice on dealing with guys like this?

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Old
11-19-2010, 06:25 AM
  #2
DungeonK
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Some people are just very competitive- if you do not like that then you should not play on this guy's team.

Try to learn and glean what knowledge you can from the things he says even if he makes you angry with the way he does it.

Being a beginning hockey player is extremely challenging, just stay confident and skate your butt off every shift if you want him to like you. If you don't care if he likes you or not then just ignore him, enjoy the games as much as you can, and get off his team ASAP.

If you have a problem with ice time go ahead and remind him that you all pay the same amount to play in the league and deserve equal opportunities to play (barring stacking a line for the last 2 minutes of a close game). If he ignores you then go ahead and take the issue up with the league coordinator.

If he is a defenseman that is jumping into the offense too much it's probably because he is trying to get something going when the forwards aren't producing. As long as he doesn't get caught and give up odd-man rushes on your goalie then there isn't really anything wrong with it.

There is a guy like this in one of my local leagues- his team fractured under how much of a jerk he is, many refused to play with him and he's currently sitting on his team's roster by himself while registration for the new season closed 3 days ago.

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Old
11-19-2010, 06:58 AM
  #3
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Sounds like he's a bit of a joke! I am lucky in the fact the one of the team I play on most of the guys have been playing together for 5+ years so were more friends now then teammates. There is another team I play on at a lower level that my Biz sponsors. I've only been involved this team for 2 years. We had some chirping from a few guys in the beginning about stacking lines and who should be on the ice for PK & PP but I put a stop to it. Two of the guys that did the most chirping did not come back this year . This team has players that should be both at higher and lower div then the team plays at but we have fun. We roll what ever lines we start the game with. Last year we won the finials after finishing in 4th (of 8 teams). This year were 500 so far but we have fun at most games.

While the guy your taking about does seem like a jerk, you should see if you can get on a team that is more interested in the recreational aspect then what this guy is. Whatever you do just have fun!

BTW......my league has rules about dbl shifting because everyone does pay to play. You might want to look into that.

Good luck!

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Old
11-19-2010, 07:24 AM
  #4
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Just play as hard as you can and ignore this joker. There's a guy in my league that's just like this guy...maybe even worse. After almost a year of dealing with the pain in the ass, I find out all my team mates hate him too.

All you can do is play your position, help your team mates, and learn from the mistakes you make as a beginner. If you do that, you'll get better and hopefully leave that idiot behind cause while you're doing that...he's being "that guy".

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Old
11-19-2010, 07:41 AM
  #5
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Start chirping this guy anytime you see him shoot and not score, or make any little mistake. And if he says anything about being the coach ask him why he is not coaching, and why all the yelling.

maybe he is playing in to low of a level of a league and that is not fair to you or the other teams.

You did pay to play and it should be fun for you and you should get a reasonable amount of ice time.

Go to the convener and ask to be balanced out of this team maybe it it gets bad enough.

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Old
11-19-2010, 08:54 AM
  #6
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Worth asking first, does anyone else on your team feel the same way?

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Old
11-19-2010, 08:57 AM
  #7
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I've never encountered this guy.

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Old
11-19-2010, 08:58 AM
  #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kritter471 View Post
You all know That Guy. He's the one who tries to channel Scotty Bowman and Herb Brooks while not knowing what he's talking about. He reams beginner players for mistakes they don't have the skills to fix yet. He preaches level-inappropriate tactics and wants to Win At All Costs, including stacking lines every time you're on special teams or berating the refs for bad calls.

In my particular case, I'm in small co-ed rec league that's at the bottom of my rink's skill level system, exactly where I belong. We've got a range from a couple extremely talented guys playing in all three levels who try to help instruct the newer guys to the pure beginner (a conversation on our bench last game included questions of whether penalties expired at the end of a period if a goal had not yet been scored). We play once a week and have "captains" but no coaches, and all four teams make the playoffs at the end of the season. Captains essentially draft the teams, make sure we all have appropriate color jerseys and call us to tell us our first game time.

But my team's captain is an arrogant jerk who isn't as good as he thinks he is, knows nothing about level-appropriate tactics and is a general ass. He's an assistant coach on the house bantam team and seems to think things that will work at that level will work for us while not actually following any of his own directions. He freaks out at our newest beginners for not raising their shots when they're happy they got on and off the ice without falling, stacks lines every game which means less-skilled players always get shorted ice time and greets any suggestions for changes with "I'm the (freaking) coach of this team!" which would be comical if it weren't so annoying. And all that wouldn't be so bad if he, a defenseman, actually played the position like he's supposed to. He plays like a center but won't move up to actually play center because "I'm one of our better skaters and we need me at D."

I love playing, but he just aggravates the hell out of me and about half of our team every game. Our rink makes the women dress in a separate room, so I don't get the dose of him the guys on our team apparently get in the locker room. But no amount of telling him he's acting like a tool seems to get him to change.

Short of quietly hoping he develops a permanent case of laryngitis, any advice on dealing with guys like this?
I know exactly what you mean kritter, I play D level in my respective league, I have a coupl guys that you described. I find myself getting angered at new guys sometimes, but there are people far more advanced than myself that treat them with much lower respect. Its unfortunate that people like this cant play in a higher league and get berated the same way the newbies do.

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Old
11-19-2010, 11:18 AM
  #9
Kritter471
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I wish I had a choice about which team I play on. We have one rink in about, oh, 200 miles of me and go through a straight draft system as far as choosing teams (and in a four-to-six-team league, like our beginner league is, there are only so many teams). I am thinking about asking the rink manager to keep me away from his team if he can next draft. I hate doing that, though, because there are other players who will get stuck with this guy.

I've heard about half the team express from mild frustration to outright rage at this guy. It's harder for me because I don't change with the guys (we have one other girl, and she is more fed up than I am) and don't get to know my teammates all that well off the ice. At least I know everyone's name. For the first several games, they're all "red socks" and "blue stick" in my head. I do know this guy's reputation around the rink, and particularly the better players who have been there for a while, it is less than stellar.

FTR, I don't mind that he's a defenseman jumping up on the attack but I do mind that he stays there, doesn't recover to his point when given the opportunity, doesn't skate back hard and then gripes at everyone about how many odd-man rushes we're giving up (because beginner wingers get stuck back on the point, and try as we might, our ability to contain odd-man rushes has definite limits). Our original goalie quit because he felt so left out to dry, particularly by this guy. For all he claims he knows about hockey, he doesn't play like it and doesn't want to listen to other people telling him what might be more helpful at our level.

Chirping at him is an idea. I'm not sure whether that would irk him more, but the results could at least be funny. He does get worked up in games and is good for an unsportsmanlike every third game or so. Heck, I guess I should be glad he's not like the friendly-but-insane guy from last year who suggested we videotape our games and have film study. That guy has at least shut up because he moved up a league and realized how little he knows about tactics.

I've wavered between confronting this guy (basically with the ice time point, that we all pay the same amount and since we all make the playoffs, we all deserve to play relatively equal amounts in our regular season) and just stewing about it, worrying that confronting him will do no good and actually make him worse.

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Old
11-19-2010, 12:40 PM
  #10
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my 2 cents.. get into a bit of an "intervention" situation. If there are others that feel like you on the team, get a consensus and everyone approach him about it. He thinks he's the alpha right now because maybe he's got a few more skills than the rest of the team when in reality, any benefits he brings to the team are outweighed by his attitude and loss of self control.

Lay down some team rules which should be respected and followed by all, including the "coach". It's a two way street, you can't get respect from your players without earning it and sometimes that means conceding that you're doing a ****** job and things need to be overhauled especially in a beer league situation where it's less of a coaching mentality and more of a coordinating mentality.

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Old
11-19-2010, 01:14 PM
  #11
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Worth asking first, does anyone else on your team feel the same way?
This is a pertinent question. If he's rubbing everyone on the team the wrong way, there is definitely an issue there. You certainly want to play and have fun, and if he wants good players around him, maybe he should go to a higher division rather than trying to be a man among boys in a beginner league.

There's always going to be guys who offer criticism, constructive or not, on any team. The grass could always look greener, but you could also try levelling with him. Maybe even tell him what you've told us--you're trying your hardest and you're happy to get off the ice without having wiped out. He might not realize that he's coming across a little harshly and might even shape up as a result.

Of course the opposite is true as well; he could see nothing wrong with what he does and tell you to stuff it. In which case, if you're unhappy on the team, maybe it's time to find a new one if no one shares your feelings on the matter.

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11-19-2010, 01:18 PM
  #12
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Originally Posted by Kritter471 View Post
I wish I had a choice about which team I play on. We have one rink in about, oh, 200 miles of me and go through a straight draft system as far as choosing teams (and in a four-to-six-team league, like our beginner league is, there are only so many teams). I am thinking about asking the rink manager to keep me away from his team if he can next draft. I hate doing that, though, because there are other players who will get stuck with this guy.

I've heard about half the team express from mild frustration to outright rage at this guy. It's harder for me because I don't change with the guys (we have one other girl, and she is more fed up than I am) and don't get to know my teammates all that well off the ice. At least I know everyone's name. For the first several games, they're all "red socks" and "blue stick" in my head. I do know this guy's reputation around the rink, and particularly the better players who have been there for a while, it is less than stellar.

FTR, I don't mind that he's a defenseman jumping up on the attack but I do mind that he stays there, doesn't recover to his point when given the opportunity, doesn't skate back hard and then gripes at everyone about how many odd-man rushes we're giving up (because beginner wingers get stuck back on the point, and try as we might, our ability to contain odd-man rushes has definite limits). Our original goalie quit because he felt so left out to dry, particularly by this guy. For all he claims he knows about hockey, he doesn't play like it and doesn't want to listen to other people telling him what might be more helpful at our level.

Chirping at him is an idea. I'm not sure whether that would irk him more, but the results could at least be funny. He does get worked up in games and is good for an unsportsmanlike every third game or so. Heck, I guess I should be glad he's not like the friendly-but-insane guy from last year who suggested we videotape our games and have film study. That guy has at least shut up because he moved up a league and realized how little he knows about tactics.

I've wavered between confronting this guy (basically with the ice time point, that we all pay the same amount and since we all make the playoffs, we all deserve to play relatively equal amounts in our regular season) and just stewing about it, worrying that confronting him will do no good and actually make him worse.
It sounds like he's rubbed more than a few people the wrong way. Maybe it's time for a team confrontation; not just 1 person griping on him, but getting the team as a unit to tell him to take it easy.

I had almost this exact guy on my team for the last 3 years. Definitely not the most skilled player, and this beer league was the highest level of hockey he'd ever played. He constantly criticised our newer guys and was also a loose cannon on the ice. People kind of put up with it because he got the team organized and ran the beer fund alright. But our town experienced an economic downturn and a lot of players left; we couldn't find new guys for the team because everyone either was not good enough or was someone he didn't like or they didn't like him. It ended up with the team folding and no one else in the league wanted to take him because of his attitude, so he's not playing.

Some guys just don't realize how much of a jerk they are being until it's too late. You may be doing him a kindness to have the team speak to him.

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Old
11-19-2010, 01:22 PM
  #13
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This might not help at all this season, but who picks the captains? Is it someone from the rink or are they volunteers? Is there any way to insure he isn't a captain next year?

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Old
11-19-2010, 01:29 PM
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Get somebody to drill him, that would be most satisfying I suspect. Also: remind him that he assistant coaches Bantam House every chance you get. How anyone be at all arrogant with those kinds of credentials is beyond me.

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11-19-2010, 01:32 PM
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I would point out every little mistake he makes, but be ready to defend yourself (verbally) because he probably will get kinda pissy and try to defend himself. but just stay on him. then after the game give him the how does it feel. I would also get every teammate in on it so he gets the idea. then buy him a beer.

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Old
11-20-2010, 08:51 PM
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Ignore it. After the season is over, ask him not to draft you for the following season. You're not going to change someone like that, especially if they're already the captain.

Problem solved.

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11-20-2010, 09:17 PM
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This thread made me laugh. I think I would jump ship to another team. The only thing I get after my teammates for is:
  1. Not playing their positions
  2. Not hustling
I expect them to keep me in line as well. Those are the two things that are within my control. Sometimes we trip over our own two feet or miss a pass. We can't help it. There's no point in reaming a guy who is making a sincere effort. That's just mean.

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11-20-2010, 09:21 PM
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Chirping at him would be silly and selfish, lowering oneself to his miserable level. And it won't help the team one damn bit.

Ignore him, don't even look at him when he's chirping. Focus on the game, your next shift.

Then, after a game, tell him alone, calmly, that you have no issue with off-ice critique and even invite it, as a means of continual self-improvement. But when the game is on, it provides no value to you or team for him to be yapping. In fact, it's counter-productive.

If he possesses an ounce of brain matter, he'll get it. If not, find another team. Undoubtedly others will follow. He'll eventually get the message.

As a sidenote, in my multiple decades of coaching and playing, I've noticed that with virtually no exceptions, the best players are the most quietly confident. They do their talking with their play. And likewise, fools can't control their emotions or mouths.

Just my two cents.

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11-20-2010, 11:40 PM
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I wouldn't even waste your time with the captain of your team; he's a guy that probably will never change unless he has some life altering moment. Don't sink to his level and try to chirp at him or start to criticize his play; he might go postal on you and that would not be worth it.

If the players on the team speak with the league coordinator as a group that may help some straighten things out with the guy, or perhaps the league coordinator will bump up him up to a higher division.

If you can stand it, you might as well finish up the season with the team and the annoying captain. You might want to consider it since most likely the league will not refund you your money. If it's too much to take for even another game, then you might want to see if you can sub for other teams in your division.

Unfortunately there are "players" like that in a lot of beer/recreational leagues; which is really sad and does not help grow the sport and at times stunts the passion of the sport for other players. It seems like that guy should either go up in division to play with players at his "level" or realize that you are in a beer/recreational league. He's got to realize that it's not college hockey, not the minor leagues and certainly not the NHL. Guys like him forget that it's about having fun, that not everyone is playing at the same skill level, that not everyone can commit to getting better and that some players on the team only see ice time during game time. He's also got to understand that everyone paid the same amount (except the goalie), so that everyone should have more balanced ice time. But like I said in the beginning, guys like that will most likely never change.

Best of luck with the next season and with your next team; hopefully you'll have a captain that acts like a captain.


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Old
11-20-2010, 11:49 PM
  #20
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Talk to one of the experience players maybe, see if they'll call him out? I'm sure that even a guy like him respects the more talented veterans, maybe he'll wise up if one of them said something?

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Old
11-21-2010, 04:19 AM
  #21
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You have to fight this guy. If you don't think you can take him on the ice then do it in the parking lot. At the worst the league will put you guys on different teams, at best you will be a legend of the C-league. "That guy" is an opportunity at greatness!

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Old
11-21-2010, 06:50 AM
  #22
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Kritter,

Immediate resolution: Talk to the referee's, chances are they know this guy and are as sick of him as you, tell him the team is sick of him, ask them to throw him out, if he's as bad as you say, they are already looking for a reason, and if he's worse as you say, they actually won't throw him out, they keep him around for entertainment purposes, and then let everyone have free reign on him.

Long term solution: Go to the convenor/manager/director, tell him this guy can't continue, that they will lose players/team over this guy, and that will get his attention real quick.

Do you guys pay per player or per team? Who made him "captain?"

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11-21-2010, 07:41 AM
  #23
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Id agree with the, "intervention" plan. The most experienced players (if not the whole group) needs to approach this guy in the locker room and lay down the law.
You need to tell tell him that its just a beer league game and that he has absolutely no right to scream at beginners like that. Tell him that he's not Herb Brooks and he's not Bob Johnson and that he needs to remember that at one point in time, he too was a beginner who made mistakes and he needs to be a little more patient and understanding of that fact.
If this guy still doesnt get it, I think you need to exclude him from the team.

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Old
11-21-2010, 09:36 AM
  #24
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There's nothing I hate more than chatty guys on the bench who can't shut up about what the guys around them need to do after every shift.

I don't mind communication, but I also don't want to be coached by my teammates every shift about what they think I am supposed to do, when you can't make them do what you think they are supposed to do.

I almost played in a lower league this season, and although I like my center on that team, it just gets old after every shift when he keeps telling me where I need to go, when I am the one doing the blue collar work like back-checking and fore-checking, when he's the one who's fat and lazy. Sure he can score, but I do all the hard work for him.

At any rate, I like my current team better. The guys I play with are clearly better than everyone else, we have better chemistry, win more, and we're not busy scoulding each other on the bench.

In beer league, you will encounter personalities who try to run things, guys who simply don't give a **** and guys who just come to play.

On that same team there is another loaf who floats, never skates, never plays defense, takes extended shifts, but scores(mostly because his center does all the work for him).

It can get aggravating. I don't care if you take a long shift, but at least show some effort.

With guys like that, I just tune them out. At some point if it bothers you so much, you will just have to call him out and tell him to **** and just play, worry about what he can do rather than focus on what everyone else is doing. Chew him out, and tell him the entire team is sick of hearing that crap from him.

Then once the game is over, apologize, and just say hey I know you're passionate about winning and so is everyone else, we're all trying hard, we just need to support everyone better. Don't worry about thin-slicing the rest of the team, try to help us out more by worrying about what you can do. It will help take pressure off of everyone else, and if we're all having fun, the chemistry will develop better, we'll win more.

Remind him that, guys will realize when they make mistakes, but they don't need constant reminders. Tell him that he needs to be more diplomatic in his approach or just not worry about other so much.

I think that's the best you can do here.

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Old
11-21-2010, 10:48 AM
  #25
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yeah. i know that guy. i led his team in scoring one year by literally double the margin and he still blames me for the bottom three finish ( in an 8 team league) like jeeze.

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